cousin relationships

[Anonymous]

I grew up living close to four cousins (and two more were two hours away - NY-NJ). I have six more who lived farther away. This is all on one side of the family.

We grew up getting together for holidays and birthdays and in the case of two of the close cousins, running into each other around town or having overlapping friends. Now we see each other for weddings and bar mitzvahs, plus if we're in the other one's state. We don't talk on the phone or anything.

I last saw one of the close cousins last April, or whenever Passover was.

[Anonymous]

My kids never clicked with their cousins. It didn't help that all of their cousins are older them them - the youngest are 3-4 years older then our oldest, and most are 5-15 years older - and don't live close by. Also, my brother's son was not an easy kid to get along with, and him and his sisters are the closest in age. "Timmy" would bully my oldest son whenever the family got together, teasing him for being skinny and for having glasses, and the like, despite being five years older, and his behavior (and my brother's refusal to even condemn it) drove a wedge between the cousin group, and while some of the other (older) cousins are still on 'greeting card' terms, but nothing more.

Its sad, my mother recently passed and none of their generation, save my youngest two (12 Y.O. and 17 y.o daughters) even bothered to show up because of this feud. My eldest (college junior) claimed he couldn't get off work (he's proven very capable at getting off work before), and equally flimsy excuses from everyone else. My father was utterly devastated, as am I.

[Anonymous]

I learned a few years ago that my parents were cousins for a short period of time. Oddly, my father's uncle married my mother's aunt (both were total a-holes so it was destined to be either a match made in heaven or quick divorce. it was divorce) anyway while they were married, my parents were...cousins!

[Anonymous]

I was really close to my cousins growing up. We all lived on the same street so it was really easy. We were closer when were young adults (like early 20s) also, but over time we have lost touch. I see updates on facebook and pretty much just give the standard congrats for a life event or happy birthday. The only time I see them now is if a family member dies.

[Anonymous]

So variable.

I have five cousins on one side of the family. I've met one just once and the others I've seen maybe twice in 45 years.

Oddly, I grew up with local cousins (14) but most were significantly older 15 -18 years older, so zero in common/off on their own when I was growing up. My dad kept us away from our other cousins who were closer in age and lived literally two streets over - they were all juvenile delinquents.

My own mother has just three cousins. They exchange Christmas cards, period.