Exposing your child when you cannot live in an area with better schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi Teacher here--the kids that always knocked my socks off were the ones who were really sweet kids who could look for different solutions. As PP indicated--raising great kids who can function is todays' world counts so much more than test scores.

1. Teach please, thank you, can I help you?, offer to hold doors, and the reasons behind.
2. When kids don't get something, encourage them to try a different way
3. Encourage problem solving--what can you do? Can you try it a different way?
4. Let them explore--if you have a back yard use it as much as possible
5. Encourage projects--building things, making things--these are ongoing and develop above listed skills
6. Expose to arts and various cultures through cooking/eating at various ethnic restaurants
7. Do things together--ice skating, walking in park, cleaning, cooking, etc.
8. Let them fail and talk about why that happened
9. Making reading enjoyable--give them their own library card, let them pick books, have them read to you--talk about subjects (Most schools now force test prep down kids throats so reading has become very laborious. Kids want to see you reading too! )

This will be the down fall of many Asian parents raising their kids in the U.S. who are enrolling their kids in academic activities as they are keeping them out of situations where they develop real world skills.
So many of my Asian neighbors - Indian mostly - do not give their children opportunities to do 1-9 as PP listed. Cram school and stampeding over others to be "the best", may have worked in Indian... China.... Korea... but you need creativity and people skills to achieve in this economy.

Sad....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Don't waste your time and money doing meaningless enrichment.

What PP said is on point. You want to have high expectations for your child, and teach him to have an inner sense of motivation and responsibility, instead of blindly going with the flow.

Books are essential, and the best way to lead a child to them is to model reading yourself (and perhaps nix the TV - the year we got rid of ours was the year DS discovered he was addicted to books). As a bookworm, I learned much, much more reading by myself at home, than learning at school.

Terrible advice.
Research shows that those "meaningless enrichments" benefit the higher income kids and increases the achievement gap.

OP - find the opportunities for your kid and if you can't afford them ask for help - financial assistance, etc.

[Anonymous]

Terrible advice.
Research shows that those "meaningless enrichments" benefit the higher income kids and increases the achievement gap.

Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? I would love to see that "research". Probably funded by Kumon.

[Anonymous]

I understand how the pp feels. I live in pg county maryland and i cannot afford to move to MoCo at the moment or any where. I would like diversity for my child. Even if it means in the summer. However, it is hard to find camps in the area with diversity. Annapolis is close but i checked out there camps and it is more than private school tuition, lol. Wow. I love the advice and plan to follow the forum on beating the odds and enriching my daughter.

[Anonymous]

I went to a so-so elementary school and later a top private school. I don't know that the teaching was heads and shoulders better in private school. In fact, I credit my elementary school teachers with giving me a strong foundation. The difference for me was the expectations in the classroom and the expectations of the parents of my peers. It wasn't a bad thing to do well in private school because it was expected that everyone was trying to do well in school or there would be heck to pay with their parents. I also think it was assumed that eveyone was college bound. I'm not going to say that back then you couldn't do well at my local middle school and high school but I think it helps to have a peer group/friends with the same goals. As a parent you can help organize things like a kid book club or find other like minded parents and organize around a common interest. Something like Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts can accommodate a lot of different interests. There was also an article in the post a few years about African-American parents that had started a club to help Give their children an academically and enrichment oriented peer group. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/19/AR2007021900952.html

I think enrichment comes in many forms and you want to encourage book smarts, people smarts, testing smarts, background knowledge, and individual attributes like perserverance, resilience, and working hard. While I was an avid reader and think that helped me in general and in testing with vocab, I definitely had to work on people smarts/working in teams and being a leader, individual attributes like being willing to try something and fail and that being okay and part of learning/innovation (I point to the teacher example of building things), and testing smarts in certain areas that don't come to me naturally like geometry and spatial reasoning. With my kids, I try not to over stress any one area because ultimately they will all be important in life. I would agree with all the suggestions from the teacher 22:21 but add peer group enrichment especially for that point when friends are more central than parents, leadership/public speaking/teamwork opportunites, and testing prep as appropriate. For example, I plan to get books and have DIY SSAT prep slowly over the course of 2 years. There could be be opprtunities that open up because of scoring well on the test and scholarship opprtunites that are partially related to test scores.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you move?

[Anonymous]

financial reasons at the moment. Also in looking at the homes in other counties they are more expensive then what i am paying now. However, i am not upset i live in an overall safe community. I am in hopes that by the time my child gets to middle school grades we will be able to move or be in a position to send her to private or magnet program. She is elementary and i want to give her the best opportunities with the circumstances i am in at this present moment.

[Anonymous]

World class museums, and they are free... and don't forget about the National Gallery of Art and all the other stuff in DC... my DC goes to a school that is majority FARMs and it is frankly astounding to hear that a lot of his classmates have never been to the Smithsonians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:financial reasons at the moment. Also in looking at the homes in other counties they are more expensive then what i am paying now. However, i am not upset i live in an overall safe community. I am in hopes that by the time my child gets to middle school grades we will be able to move or be in a position to send her to private or magnet program. She is elementary and i want to give her the best opportunities with the circumstances i am in at this present moment.

What is your budget? Where do you commute to? I know this area is expensive, but are you aware of the subsidized housing programs in Montgomery and Fairfax Counties for qualifying incomes. If moving costs are a concern it is possible to get movers on Craigslist for half of professional movers.

[Anonymous]

PP: research has shown that taking practice tests for SAT improves scores more than just about anything. That is basically what the prep classes do. Some parents just have a hard time making their kids do it.

[Anonymous]

Read. Read, read, read. Then read some more. Make the public library a regular part of your routine. Read to her. Read with her. Let her see you reading for fun. Read a variety of genres, including fiction and non-fiction. Encourage her to write, as well--stories, a journal, whatever.

Also, if you are in the DC area, then take advantage of the fact that we have amazing, free museums. Visit them often. Your child will be exposed to many different subjects and may find one or two that really interest her.

[Anonymous]

I'll jump on the bandwagon and say that you don't need expensive classes and camps to enrich your child. We live in an area overflowing with opportunities - many of which are free.

Go to the Smithsonians. But don't just wander around the museums (although you should do that too!) They have tons of events for kids and a lot of them are totally free: http://www.si.edu/Events

Go to the library. But don't just check out a book. All the libraries around here have a ton of activities and events - again, almost all for free. (A quick google search will find your local library system and all their events)

If you're in MD and can afford it, get a membership to the Maryland Science Center. Another great museum option, with lots of fun members only events.

Go to some of the many fantastic nature centers around here. Many of them cost some money, but only a few bucks. Find the one closest to you here: http://www.chesapeakefamily.com/fun/fun-stuff-to-do/5553-7-nature-centers-kids-will-love-in-the-baltimore-annapolis-area

Check out your local community college. They often have classes for kids that might be a little more reasonably priced.

If you are going to pay for any ongoing enrichment, my #1 suggestion would be music lessons. Learning an instrument does SO much to help develop critical life skills.

It always makes me sad when I go to the library story time with my kids and see mostly other well-off, educated moms and their kids there. It is a FREE program, clearly designed to offer enrichment for little kids who need it. But the only people taking advantage are those who undoubtedly are already reading and singing and playing with their kids at home anyway. THAT'S the difference in the "good" schools. Involved parents who know how to use the available resources in their community. It doesn't take any money at all to do that.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It always makes me sad when I go to the library story time with my kids and see mostly other well-off, educated moms and their kids there. It is a FREE program, clearly designed to offer enrichment for little kids who need it. But the only people taking advantage are those who undoubtedly are already reading and singing and playing with their kids at home anyway. THAT'S the difference in the "good" schools. Involved parents who know how to use the available resources in their community. It doesn't take any money at all to do that.

I think that's how the parents got well off, by going to the library and reading with their parents. It's a cycle of valuing education. Anecdotally, the kids who played around during school and skipped class are now the ones in trouble financially on my facebook feed. And they had kids before marriage and before they could get careers and are struggling even more.

[Anonymous]

All of the above seems to be loaded with great advice so I have little to add beyond one bit of personal experience. I was never good at or felt comfortable with child like or baby talk. I tried, but I could never do it - I just didn't have that parenting skill. Nevertheless, I knew it was important to communicate with my children and for them to hear my voice. So my awkward method of communication with my children was to tell them stories about things I knew. I told them about the stars and the planets or when we were driving the functions of an internal-combustion engine, etc. etc. They didn't grow up to be astronomers or auto mechanics, but it was surprising how much of the vocabulary and general concepts of history, government, science and family values they learned during dialogs in which at the moment seem to be going right over their heads.

We also always included museaums, battlefields, and national parks on our vacations.

We simply talked to our children and essentially shared our family histories and every other bit of knowledge we possess with our children and it has had yielded very positive results.

Clearly you are a loving caring parent. Your children are fortunate to have you! They will learn much from you and they will do well in life because of your love and guidance.