The following items are on DD's gift list when she graduates in May.

[Anonymous]

Are you people for real? Why not a pony, too?

[Anonymous]

It would be incredibly generous and nice of you to give her any of these things.
You could teach a woman to fish, as the saying goes, by giving her, say, a few thousand toward a car and going with her to test-drive, etc., so that she can learn how to car-shop for herself in the future.
Steer her to Craiglist or Goodwill for furniture. Let her find what she likes and can afford.
And maybe put money toward gas money or flight for spring break. I can see if that's something a group of friends has planned, then she couldn't really put it off. Of the three, to be honest, that's the most gift-like.
The others, you could just help her save up for.

[Anonymous]

No to the trip. She can pay for that herself. I would get her a used car that I could afford. The bedroom furniture I would have to know more. What kind of furniture does she have?

[Anonymous]

She needs the car. The trip or furniture would be nice as well

[Anonymous]

I'm really surprised that more people aren't saying to give her money and let her figure out what to do with it. She's 22, people!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Will give her a specific amount and let her figure it out. I really like this idea.

Hubby suggested after my post to give her my car (3 years old, one more year to pay) and we will buy a new one. So the money will be for a smaller amount (trip, furniture and maybe car note).

[Anonymous]

I like the idea of letting her make choices about the money.

However, I was also thinking about the furniture. What were your plans for the furniture in that room? If that room were to become a guest room once your daughter moves out, what would you like that room to look like? (In other words, is the current furniture too juvenile for visitors?) If you want to buy new furniture for your guest room (which she will inhabit in the near future), go ahead.

However, if your daughter wants furniture that she takes with her to her next apartment, she can buy it. (If you want to be generous, offer her the proceeds from a Craigslist sale of her current furniture--which she is free to organize.) Speaking as someone who had lots of garage-sale furniture in grad school (and still has some of it today!), I think there are valuable lessons in having to work ones way up to nicer stuff in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's absolutely amazing that she has accomplished all this. I personally think she deserves all 3. Unless her friends are staying at the Ritz, I doubt a spring break trip will be all that expensive. Neither will the furniture.

She needs a car to get around and be independent. That's nonnegotiable, in my opinion.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's absolutely amazing that she has accomplished all this. I personally think she deserves all 3. Unless her friends are staying at the Ritz, I doubt a spring break trip will be all that expensive. Neither will the furniture.

She needs a car to get around and be independent. That's nonnegotiable, in my opinion.

+1

What exactly has she accomplished? She finished college with good grades? Not exactly unusual for this area.

[Anonymous]

OP,

It's your call. Not sure how online strangers can assist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's absolutely amazing that she has accomplished all this. I personally think she deserves all 3. Unless her friends are staying at the Ritz, I doubt a spring break trip will be all that expensive. Neither will the furniture.

She needs a car to get around and be independent. That's nonnegotiable, in my opinion.

+1

x2

[Anonymous]

I have a 23 yr old and a 20 yr old. I think we would pay for half the cost of a used car (under $10k). If the kid already has working furniture I would not buy them new furniture. You don't replace something that's perfectly good. She can paint or stain it if she doesn't like what she's got.

I am happy to pay for the kids to go on family vacations with well, the family. I will not pay to send them on a spring break trip.

[Anonymous]

Vacations = if it's something, someplace we couldn't afford to go, we aren't giving it as a gift.

Car= if she has a job, she can pay for it. Or if we feel it's needed, we provide one of our cars to use - doesn't mean we give them the car. It's not theirs.

Furniture = only if it's something we own and don't need.

[Anonymous]

I'd *maybe* assist with the car, and if you want to gift her money to pay for spring break, but if she doesn't like her furniture, she can dang well get a place to live and find furniture for it herself.

Seriously, besides a futon, the first time I had brand new furniture was when I bought myself a new iron bed frame for my 30th birthday. If she doesn't like the white stuff, I'd tell her to look on Craigslist.

And get off my lawn!

I'm with this PP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 23 yr old and a 20 yr old. I think we would pay for half the cost of a used car (under $10k). If the kid already has working furniture I would not buy them new furniture. You don't replace something that's perfectly good. She can paint or stain it if she doesn't like what she's got.

I am happy to pay for the kids to go on family vacations with well, the family. I will not pay to send them on a spring break trip.

Similar aged kids here. This sums up my feelings pretty well. I can see helping out with a car for a kid starting their first job (assuming public transit is not an option), if that's in your budget. The rest? No.