How do you get your elementary school kids to do homework?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lately the routine at our house has fallen apart, and our kids are complaining incessantly about their school workload and their musical instrument practices. Homework is not getting finished, it's being done sloppily, and it's such a fight every night to get them to start it. I'm looking for tips on how to jumpstart the homework/instrument practice routine with less complaining. Our kids are in fourth and fifth grade, so sticker charts and bribes don't work.

I'd love your best tips on how to motivate upper elementary kids to do what they need to do. How do you keep the routine working at your house?

"Do your homework, dd(s)."

They know it gets done after school before anything else: Screens, friends, sports practices. Homework and musical interest.

Usually they get it done at school.

[Anonymous]

No minecraft and no tv until the homework is done. Both are huge motivational tools in our house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me preface this comment by saying I am very involved in DD's school, I communicate regularly with her teacher, and have high expectations for her to work hard at academics.
Having said that, I don't take any extraordinary measures to "get her to do homework." I tell her she needs to do it, and provide time and space for it. I don't correct it. Her teacher needs to know if she is not understanding something. And I do not engage in battles over it. If it doesn't get done, she faces the consequences from her teacher. We used to fight over it, but now that I have removed myself from the equation, she does her homework every night. She is in aftercare or at an extracurricular activity every school night, so often does not start homework until 5:30. But she is in 5th grade, so never has more than an hour of homework.

This. It is my job to ensure that she has what she needs to do her homework in terms of time, space, and resources. It is her job to do it. I am there to help if asked, but I don't nag or engage in power struggles. We don't fight about it, and she has developed her own motivation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Homework is checked and graded at school so my kids do it because it represents a substantial part of their semester grade. It's never a struggle in that sense. (Instrument practice was a struggle so we dropped that. I pick my battles and feel they were exposed to it enough to pick it up again later if they choose. I allow only activities they are intrinsically motivated to practice.)

Same here. No more piano lessons for DC since getting her to practice was such an ordeal. We figured, what's the big deal? Such a weight off our shoulders to be done with it.

[Anonymous]

DD is in 3rd grade. She is in the Extended Day program and always does her homework there before I pick her up. She has dance twice a week, and she's been told from a young age that if it doesn't get done, she won't go to dance. If she has a question or needs help with something afterwards, that's fine -- but she's got to get through the majority of it before she starts playing with her friends, even on days that I pick her up around 5 and we go straight home.

If she's says she did it, I take her word -- and let her deal with the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Homework is checked and graded at school so my kids do it because it represents a substantial part of their semester grade. It's never a struggle in that sense. (Instrument practice was a struggle so we dropped that. I pick my battles and feel they were exposed to it enough to pick it up again later if they choose. I allow only activities they are intrinsically motivated to practice.)

Same here. No more piano lessons for DC since getting her to practice was such an ordeal. We figured, what's the big deal? Such a weight off our shoulders to be done with it.

Wow- that's sad. I mean I understand picking your battles and maybe your children hated the instrument but really for a young child, instrument work is really a parent/child thing. My son used to say he hated to play piano all of the time but now that he's made good progress and can play upper level basic songs- he's happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Homework is checked and graded at school so my kids do it because it represents a substantial part of their semester grade. It's never a struggle in that sense. (Instrument practice was a struggle so we dropped that. I pick my battles and feel they were exposed to it enough to pick it up again later if they choose. I allow only activities they are intrinsically motivated to practice.)

Same here. No more piano lessons for DC since getting her to practice was such an ordeal. We figured, what's the big deal? Such a weight off our shoulders to be done with it.

Wow- that's sad. I mean I understand picking your battles and maybe your children hated the instrument but really for a young child, instrument work is really a parent/child thing. My son used to say he hated to play piano all of the time but now that he's made good progress and can play upper level basic songs- he's happy.

And its great that you and your kid worked thru it. But I'll agree with others that its easily expendable if the kid hates it and its interfering with homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Homework is checked and graded at school so my kids do it because it represents a substantial part of their semester grade. It's never a struggle in that sense. (Instrument practice was a struggle so we dropped that. I pick my battles and feel they were exposed to it enough to pick it up again later if they choose. I allow only activities they are intrinsically motivated to practice.)

Same here. No more piano lessons for DC since getting her to practice was such an ordeal. We figured, what's the big deal? Such a weight off our shoulders to be done with it.

Wow- that's sad. I mean I understand picking your battles and maybe your children hated the instrument but really for a young child, instrument work is really a parent/child thing. My son used to say he hated to play piano all of the time but now that he's made good progress and can play upper level basic songs- he's happy.

Or he makes you think that he is happy so you are not disappointed and he doesn't feel like a failure.

Signed: adult who were forced into a piano lessons for 7 years and never played it once left parent's house.

[Anonymous]

Take them to Walmart and ask a few walmart employees for help finding things . etc.. then take them home. Next time they don't want do their homework ask them if when they grow up do they want to have an interesting job or be that person who points out where the dish washing liquid can be found at walmart. Explain that they need to get into a good college or that is where they will end up.

"Now, do your homework"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take them to Walmart and ask a few walmart employees for help finding things . etc.. then take them home. Next time they don't want do their homework ask them if when they grow up do they want to have an interesting job or be that person who points out where the dish washing liquid can be found at walmart. Explain that they need to get into a good college or that is where they will end up.

"Now, do your homework"

Don't say that shit. Those people have hard jobs and it sucks to point to them and say, "You don't want to be like that guy, do you?" A lot of people working crap jobs are working their way through school. And a lot of recent college grads are having trouble finding "interesting" jobs.