I can't sleep: what's going on in your relationship? Anything you want to unload about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. I'll tell you a secret. I just posted yesterday about getting back on the working out horse after a long time on bedrest and then having a stillborn.

I have not had sex with my husband in months. Before the bedrest, I was one of those people who made sure I initiated at least once a week. I went into labor on Thanksgiving, and then obviously after the birth it's six weeks until you're cleared to have sex. But .... i just can't bring myself to.

Every night I'm like "Okay, you gotta give him a green light, he put it on you after you rejected him seven times in a row. Do it tonight." And then every night I'm like .... flannel ducky pajamas, you are my best friend. I can't bring myself to have sex anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me.

You had a stillborn. It's traumatic. Cut yourself some slack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been having a really rough time the past few months, coming after two years of mutual anger and resentment. Things are so bad that we're sleeping in separate rooms, for the first time in our 11 years of marriage. But last night was really good. Our toddler was coughing and vomiting and didn't get to sleep until midnight. AND, our cat got sick - there was vomit and diarrhea everywhere. We were up until 3:30 am cleaning everything up. But we did it all together. He bathed our son, and I bathed the cat. He cleaned the furniture, and I cleaned the carpets. He worked on the laundry, and I took out the trash and made us something to eat. We took a break around 1:00 am and ate together while watching part of a movie, then we got back to work. He didn't disappear, and I wasn't stressed and frustrated. When our son woke up cranky and calling for me at his usual time this morning I was exhausted, but the first thing I felt was: grateful. Grateful I wasn't doing it all alone the night before, grateful that my husband was there to help. Who could have thought such a night could end up feeling so good?

This is really beautifully written.

Hope things get better for you, PP.

[Anonymous]

I want to live alone but don't know how to approach my husband on this. He may laugh but I'm dead serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I want to live alone but don't know how to approach my husband on this. He may laugh but I'm dead serious.

Do you want to split from him?

Or just live in different homes yet remain married? If so, good luck. That is going backwards.

[Anonymous]

I love my wife but get the feeling she is having an affair because she is working out and dressing better. Thank you DCUM for making me paranoid. We have sex 2-3 times/week. If she is having one I don't want to leave her because I love her so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to live alone but don't know how to approach my husband on this. He may laugh but I'm dead serious.

Do you want to split from him?

Or just live in different homes yet remain married? If so, good luck. That is going backwards.

Live apart but not divorce. I'm very sick and can barely attend to myself much less another person. Call it backwards but it's what I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been having a really rough time the past few months, coming after two years of mutual anger and resentment. Things are so bad that we're sleeping in separate rooms, for the first time in our 11 years of marriage. But last night was really good. Our toddler was coughing and vomiting and didn't get to sleep until midnight. AND, our cat got sick - there was vomit and diarrhea everywhere. We were up until 3:30 am cleaning everything up. But we did it all together. He bathed our son, and I bathed the cat. He cleaned the furniture, and I cleaned the carpets. He worked on the laundry, and I took out the trash and made us something to eat. We took a break around 1:00 am and ate together while watching part of a movie, then we got back to work. He didn't disappear, and I wasn't stressed and frustrated. When our son woke up cranky and calling for me at his usual time this morning I was exhausted, but the first thing I felt was: grateful. Grateful I wasn't doing it all alone the night before, grateful that my husband was there to help. Who could have thought such a night could end up feeling so good?

Love this story. Thanks for sharing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to live alone but don't know how to approach my husband on this. He may laugh but I'm dead serious.

Do you want to split from him?

Or just live in different homes yet remain married? If so, good luck. That is going backwards.

Live apart but not divorce. I'm very sick and can barely attend to myself much less another person. Call it backwards but it's what I want.

Why not divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When it's good I am in heaven. When it's bad I want to jump into the potomac

+1

+1000

[Anonymous]

I can't stand to look at my DH's dead brown toenails another day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok. I'll tell you a secret. I just posted yesterday about getting back on the working out horse after a long time on bedrest and then having a stillborn.

I have not had sex with my husband in months. Before the bedrest, I was one of those people who made sure I initiated at least once a week. I went into labor on Thanksgiving, and then obviously after the birth it's six weeks until you're cleared to have sex. But .... i just can't bring myself to.

Every night I'm like "Okay, you gotta give him a green light, he put it on you after you rejected him seven times in a row. Do it tonight." And then every night I'm like .... flannel ducky pajamas, you are my best friend. I can't bring myself to have sex anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Oh PP. My heart goes out to both you and your DH. I am terribly sorry.

[Anonymous]

I know I will never want my husband again in that way. It's been over 15 years since I had any sexual interest in him but it's taken this long to understand that no matter how hard I try it will never come back. But there's nothing else wrong with him, only that I recoil at his touch and rejoice when he's not around. He is a good father. I don't know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I will never want my husband again in that way. It's been over 15 years since I had any sexual interest in him but it's taken this long to understand that no matter how hard I try it will never come back. But there's nothing else wrong with him, only that I recoil at his touch and rejoice when he's not around. He is a good father. I don't know what to do.

Well, shit. I feel sorry for him. Too bad you didn't tell him 15 years ago. Maybe he could have been a good father to children of a mother who was sexually interested in him. You stole a big piece of his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been having a really rough time the past few months, coming after two years of mutual anger and resentment. Things are so bad that we're sleeping in separate rooms, for the first time in our 11 years of marriage. But last night was really good. Our toddler was coughing and vomiting and didn't get to sleep until midnight. AND, our cat got sick - there was vomit and diarrhea everywhere. We were up until 3:30 am cleaning everything up. But we did it all together. He bathed our son, and I bathed the cat. He cleaned the furniture, and I cleaned the carpets. He worked on the laundry, and I took out the trash and made us something to eat. We took a break around 1:00 am and ate together while watching part of a movie, then we got back to work. He didn't disappear, and I wasn't stressed and frustrated. When our son woke up cranky and calling for me at his usual time this morning I was exhausted, but the first thing I felt was: grateful. Grateful I wasn't doing it all alone the night before, grateful that my husband was there to help. Who could have thought such a night could end up feeling so good?

Keep this post and re-read it on the bad days. IMO, the ability to be grateful is the basis for love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I will never want my husband again in that way. It's been over 15 years since I had any sexual interest in him but it's taken this long to understand that no matter how hard I try it will never come back. But there's nothing else wrong with him, only that I recoil at his touch and rejoice when he's not around. He is a good father. I don't know what to do.

Well, shit. I feel sorry for him. Too bad you didn't tell him 15 years ago. Maybe he could have been a good father to children of a mother who was sexually interested in him. You stole a big piece of his life.

+1