Friends with a Criminal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you friends with or could you be friends with someone who has committed a crime? Would it depend upon the type of crime? Unfortunately, this has come up in my life. Relative by marriage (but someone I see and interact with often socially) is losing a professional license and faces complete loss of income and maybe jail. Already getting emails and calls to help the family financially, show support, etc.

OP, I think referring to someone in this situation as "a criminal" is a bit overwrought. Many statutes on the books carry the risk of jail time, including illegally xeroxing a recipe in a magazine. Or speeding. Your relative may end up regaining his/her license and serving no jail time. He/she is not "a criminal." This person made a mistake. Your point of view is, in my opinion, bizarre and childish.

[Anonymous]

This question says more about you than it does about the person in question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with several lawyers who served prison sentences when they were younger for drugs or manslaughter.

One of them is now a judge.

How is this possible?

Sol Wachtler was reinstated to practice law in New York after he served a prison sentence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends on the crime. My cousin was in an abusive and controlling relationship and got sucked into drugs and dealIng. Stole from family and friends, oded twice, had a friend died, etc. She went to jail for a year and sobered up. Finished college and is now happily married wiTh a great career

Wow, who's the idiot who decided to marry your cousin?

Not sure what you mean. They met 5 years into her sobriety and met through work as a chemical engineer. They have now been married 5 years and are very happy. She really turned her life around and we are all very proud of her.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I also work in corrections and truly believe in rehabilitation and second chances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you friends with or could you be friends with someone who has committed a crime? Would it depend upon the type of crime? Unfortunately, this has come up in my life. Relative by marriage (but someone I see and interact with often socially) is losing a professional license and faces complete loss of income and maybe jail. Already getting emails and calls to help the family financially, show support, etc.

OP, I think referring to someone in this situation as "a criminal" is a bit overwrought. Many statutes on the books carry the risk of jail time, including illegally xeroxing a recipe in a magazine. Or speeding. Your relative may end up regaining his/her license and serving no jail time. He/she is not "a criminal." This person made a mistake. Your point of view is, in my opinion, bizarre and childish.

Person in question committed a crime. A real crime. Will be going to prison for 10 years. Well beyond speeding, not paying tickets, xeroxing recipes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have worked with several lawyers who served prison sentences when they were younger for drugs or manslaughter.

One of them is now a judge.

How is this possible?

Think Tim Allen.

Tim Allen's not a judge, idiot.

Yes, I would also like to know how someone who served a prison sentence could end up a judge? Shit, Audrey Creighton is only fucking felons and she deserves to be disbarred.

You are generally admitted to the bar as long as your prior crimes didn't involve dishonesty (e.g. fraud).

Also in a lot of places judges are elected. And the people are stupid.

[Anonymous]

depends on the nature of the crime. Murder, rape, abuse, sexual predator--no. could not stay friends.

dui, drugs, yes.

financial crimes, embezzlement, etc: gray area for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is friends with criminals. You just may not know it.

Or descendants of criminals, many of whom have committed crimes against humanity to get ahead and pass on ill gotten riches and privileges to their heirs.

Let she who is without sin cast the first stone, PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you friends with or could you be friends with someone who has committed a crime? Would it depend upon the type of crime? Unfortunately, this has come up in my life. Relative by marriage (but someone I see and interact with often socially) is losing a professional license and faces complete loss of income and maybe jail. Already getting emails and calls to help the family financially, show support, etc.

OP, I think referring to someone in this situation as "a criminal" is a bit overwrought. Many statutes on the books carry the risk of jail time, including illegally xeroxing a recipe in a magazine. Or speeding. Your relative may end up regaining his/her license and serving no jail time. He/she is not "a criminal." This person made a mistake. Your point of view is, in my opinion, bizarre and childish.

Person in question committed a crime. A real crime. Will be going to prison for 10 years. Well beyond speeding, not paying tickets, xeroxing recipes.

Okay. Does that mean that this person is not a human being anymore? Is beyond all hope? Deserves to be written out of the community of humankind?

You seem awfully judgmental and really almost insanely black and white in your thinking. As if this person has been transformed into some kind of hideous monster who can't be around "good people" because good people will be infected by their horribleness. You don't say what this person did, but not even a court would require their family to cut them off.

[Anonymous]

I would have empathy for them and always treat them with kindness but would never trust them and would keep up a boundary. My cousin is a troubled soul and has been in trouble with the law. I do love him and freely express that love to him, but he will never be a big part of my life again because I don't trust him, and I must protect my family from whatever chaos he might bring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is friends with criminals. You just may not know it.

+1

Studies of the brain structures and thought processes of psychopaths show a startling amount of similarity to the makeup of the brains of some of the practitioners of occupations, (lawyers, business executives) most financially successful and highly regarded by society.

Life has always been competitive and we often have to stoop pretty low by taking all necessary means to beat the other guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you friends with or could you be friends with someone who has committed a crime? Would it depend upon the type of crime? Unfortunately, this has come up in my life. Relative by marriage (but someone I see and interact with often socially) is losing a professional license and faces complete loss of income and maybe jail. Already getting emails and calls to help the family financially, show support, etc.

OP, I think referring to someone in this situation as "a criminal" is a bit overwrought. Many statutes on the books carry the risk of jail time, including illegally xeroxing a recipe in a magazine. Or speeding. Your relative may end up regaining his/her license and serving no jail time. He/she is not "a criminal." This person made a mistake. Your point of view is, in my opinion, bizarre and childish.

Person in question committed a crime. A real crime. Will be going to prison for 10 years. Well beyond speeding, not paying tickets, xeroxing recipes.

I'm the PP who works in corrections. I was approached by a friend whose family friend is about to get out of prison after serving about 8 years for attempted murder. Fortunately he's been in a decent correctional system where there are opportunities for both habilitation (because many don't have any social or life skills at all going in) and rehabilitation. He's ready to get out, find employment, and stay away from the crowd he was running with (he's about 28 I think). He realizes the huge challenges he will face with employment, having an attempted murder charge on his record. And that can be overwhelming. But his family's church is supporting him emotionally and to the extent they can, will be helping him to look for employment. I am attempting to get him into a transitional program that links former inmates to employment, and if he can find a job (the most critical piece), stay in close contact with his parole officer, and meet the other terms of parole (which include regular counseling), he's got a great shot to be a productive member of society and not reoffend.

I was fortunate to be able to see a one-man performance by Charles S. Dutton last year in a local jail. He was convicted of murder himself, in Baltimore, and has gone on to be an incredible broadway and film actor. Even better, he has given back to the community in a variety of ways, not the least of which is reaching out to incarcerated people and showing them there "is" a way to reform, to a better way of life, to success. He's really brilliant.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_S._Dutton

People can learn. People do get better. If your friend is someone with that potential, I wouldn't give up on him. It is true that some don't. That their character never improves. But I wouldn't immediately reject someone because they are doing time. I'd look at the total picture, the total person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is friends with criminals. You just may not know it.

Bingo.

Beyond that, context is everything ... what? When? Why?

Etc.

Anyone who is so sanctimonious that they think they could never be friends with a "criminal" is unworthy of my friendship.

[Anonymous]

Sure. I'm related to criminals (lots of addiction so drug offenses/DUI's/parole violations etc...)

Also related to an attorney who went to jail for non-payment of taxes and was later reinstated to the bar.

Also friends with a major white collar criminal (embezzled hundreds of thousands of dollars.)

Life is messy, people screw up, etc... And you can't pick your relatives or spouses of friends.

Try not to sit in judgment - if they have a criminal record someone else has already done the judging for you.