Christmas at McDonald's

[Anonymous]

I dont understand why even go. But if you absolutely must, I second the grocery store, at least you will have a hot semi decent meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I still don't get why you come after everyone has eaten. Are you at another house before? I feel like this is the main issue or at least a huge missing part of the situation

Same here- why aren't you there when the meal is served?
I would bring some food- meatballs that you can heat up, or something like that and if you don't get fed, just pop them in the microwave for your children and yourselves.
Very odd behavior by your MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We've never gone anywhere where the food has run out. There has always been food.

But when the kids were little they could be soo awful picky and the grandparents just weren't too sympathetic with that. Fair enough, they had a point. But still, little kids need to eat, lol.

So we used to stop on the way and get them happy meals. So they could sit at the table and pick at the food on their plate but not be cranky, irritable from being hungry and ruin dinner for everyone else. Really they would not eat what they didn't like.

Beyond that, unless you could bring something in a cooler for yourself, your options are limited. Maybe duck in a Chinese restaurant?

OP here. I think she might have it in her head that my DC are picky, like SIL's were really, really, really, really picky. I think SIl's DC only ate chicken nuggets, and is probably the same, even as a teen? Anyway, no, our DC eat what we eat. They are not picky, and my issue is Mil's selective memory (or whatever you call it) that DCs are picky, like SILs, is part of what rubs me the wrong way. Mil knows for a fact that my DCs are NOT picky, and she has ONLY seen them eat what we eat, so she has NO reason to believe they are picky. Its just the arbitrariness of her ways......

When we arrive, there are no main courses left, only crumbs (seriously) of side dishes, which she tries to scrape for them to eat. If I were not so aggravated, I would be embarrassed for her. And it has happened so many times, it is as if she knows DH won't say anything, so she keeps doing it. (She is kind of a bully.) I am trying to be nice here, but the idea of another Christmas non-meal really disappoints.

When we call and say we are on the way (at the time she told us) - I always say "and please be sure, no matter what, to save food for the children". If she gets it, she wants to pretend she doesn't. I have never dealt with anyone so mean and difficult, so I don't know what she will "hear".

Now that the kids are getting old enough (elementary school) to know about McDonalds and its detriments, they are going to start saying no to McDonalds, then we are without any food on Christmas?

I am venting because the more I think about it, the more hurt I get, so thank you for allowing that.

It's hurtful behavior. It would not be a big deal for her to make some plates for you and your DH and the children, wrap some aluminum foil over the top, and stick it in the fridge.

Time to start with some kind of self-help. Many restaurants are open for Christmas. Find one close to her house or on the way. Stop and eat dinner at the restaurant and then continue to her house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
When we call and say we are on the way (at the time she told us) - I always say "and please be sure, no matter what, to save food for the children". If she gets it, she wants to pretend she doesn't. I have never dealt with anyone so mean and difficult, so I don't know what she will "hear".

Have you ever asked what time the others showed up? If they are showing up earlier and eating, then you show up earlier and eat. When she tells you a time, plan to arrive an hour earlier. If she asks why showed up early you say "well, we wanted to leave enough time in case of holiday traffic and we didn't have any, so we're here!"

The point is, you know what will happen if you show up at the time she advertises, so show up earlier. Perhaps the others started showing up earlier when they realized there was not enough food. Do the same.

[Anonymous]

OP -- honestly, I think the problem is you, not your MIL. You're arriving there after everyone else has eaten, and you keep doing it. If you were sane, you either would arrive on time or not go at all. I'm on your MIL's side on this one.

[Anonymous]

You need to either get there earlier in the day before the food is put on the table OR you have to BYO food. Duck from a Chinese takeout, put some wild rice on the stove and steam some broccoli in the microwave - done. Maybe bring a yummy cake from the store bakery to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- honestly, I think the problem is you, not your MIL. You're arriving there after everyone else has eaten, and you keep doing it. If you were sane, you either would arrive on time or not go at all. I'm on your MIL's side on this one.

I'm not on your MIL's side, but agree OP is playing into this dynamic WAY too much. The only thing I can figure is if OP is at someone else's house for a meal and then makes her way to MIL's house. My cousin does this at thanksgiving and joins us for dessert. Just something really off with this whole story.

[Anonymous]

1. Where are you spending Christmas morning? You could do a nice Christmas brunch at your home so missing Christmas dinner is less of an issue.

2. Don't rely on your mother in law for planning, Call one of the other relatives and ask when they are arriving. Plan for that time so she doesn't inform you so late that you always miss dinner.

3. If you near a larger city, splurge on a Christmas dinner at one of the best hotels. We used to always take everyone to the Four Seasons for their Christmas dinner. Far better than anything we could cooked!

4. Make something that can be frozen in advance and then use her kitchen when you get there to make a second Christmas dinner.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, OP, I agree with everyone else. So, when you arrive, is everyone already sitting around the table with empty plates? Having coffee? I just don't understand when everyone else is eating?

[Anonymous]

Uh, why are people coming at different times and eating in shifts?

[Anonymous]

How far are you traveling? I know you mentioned taking food wasn't an option but I think my first choice would be to bring a nice meal for us, share with whomever. Honeybaked ham, a couple of sides and just reheat them when we arrived. Serve my family dinner and anyone who wants to join is welcome. It's bold but so is providing dinner for certain family members and not others. You could be honest and say it was because for the last X years we have arrived to no food and you want your children to enjoy a Christmas dinner or one of DH generous clients gifted this to us and we wanted to share.

Alternatively, I would choose a different time to visit. Either a different day or make reservations at a nice restaurant for dinner and arrive before or after.

What does your DH say? Has he spoken to his mother about this? Does your SIL or anyone else in the family say anything when you arrive to no food? I just can't imagine this.

[Anonymous]

This whole scenario is bizarre. Why do you keep going then? Next time it happens, turn right around, get back in the car, and go to a chinese restaurant. Not McDonald's, which takes 10 minutes. But go have a nice sit down meal. Then she misses out on spending time with you, which was presumably the entire point of you coming. You're the ones who keep letter her do it.

[Anonymous]

So she really says "Christmas dinner is at 2:00!" and then you show up at 2:00 and everyone else has eaten? That's weird. Can you show up earlier or do you have another event earlier in the day?

Options:

1. don't go
2. show up earlier
3. bring your own food
4. have your own christmas feast earlier in the week (we do this when spending the holiday with relatives who are taste blind)
5. Plan to go out to eat afterward (book ahead)
6. Throw a screaming fit when you get to MIL's house

[Anonymous]

I see it as three options:

Eat first (as others have said a brunch at home or a restaurant on the way)
Go earlier
Don't go

[Anonymous]

I'm starting to wonder if OP is at another persons house earlier in the day and eats there. But MIL doesn't want to make everyone wait for them to show up to eat so they eat before hand. mIL likely assumes they eat at the other house.

If this is the case OP, then you can't do both on the same day. Can't make others wait for you to eat because you have other plans that are far away.