MIL Gave Christmas Presents to Kids and DH, not Me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree with the posters suggesting you rise above it. Give her a nice gift and let it go. Life is too short to worry about how other people act. If you follow the advise of the posters suggesting you react aggressively, you are only perpetuating this cycle. Choose to be the peacemaker and you will never regret it.

Fair enough, and I did rise above it and thus have no regrets. Yet the time came to dust off my feet and move away from interaction.

When my children were openly rejected or humiliated in favor of cousins, a line needed to be drawn in the sand.

Are you the Litter Lady?

[Anonymous]

My MIL and FIL never get me Christmas presents or birthday presents. They send cards and presents to the kids and to DH. It never occurred to me to be offended. I am not their kid or their grandkid. We are polite and friendly, but not close.

[Anonymous]

Well if you had a rocky relationship, it's not exactly coming out of the blue, is it?

You should ignore it. When MIL expresses surprise at not receiving a gift from your family, your DH should say it's because she excluded you.

[Anonymous]

WOW if your DH is okay with this. Mine said he'd tell his mom not to bother sending anything, he'd never let me be hurt/disrespected like that and not say something.

[Anonymous]

That's kinda petty! OP, your best revenge is to be gracious and indifferent. And this frees you from having to get her something, since your DH will clearly be handling that. If she's nice to your kids, then just look at her like DH's mother and DCs' grandmother and expect nothing from her otherwise.

[Anonymous]

This is just mean. Your DH should refuse them and tell her to shape up or ship out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would divorce DH if he failed to stand up for me and cut out his mom.

You would divorce him for that!?! I would assume your marriage is not stable to start?

[Anonymous]

Your title says she gave gifts to the kids and your husband yet your post says your husband told you your MIL was not giving you a gift.

Might wanna stifle that MIL hate until one or the other happens.

[Anonymous]

My MIL is like this too. She's a bitch. It's particularly hurtful b/c my mother passed away. After a few years of being disappointed, I stopped trying to buy any gifts for her. One time I ordered the flowers that DH gave her for Mother's Day. She actually thought it was my DH. He never bothers w/ any gifts unless I buy them.

I was never a huge fan of my SIL, but once I laid eyes on my first niece I realized that she was the gatekeeper to my niece. I always go out of my way to make her feel welcome and made sure that her gifts were actually nicer than even my brother's. As a result, i've never been denied access to my nieces.

My MIL isn't the smartest woman.

[Anonymous]

As a MIL, I too know about shitty DILs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL and FIL never get me Christmas presents or birthday presents. They send cards and presents to the kids and to DH. It never occurred to me to be offended. I am not their kid or their grandkid. We are polite and friendly, but not close.

+1. I didn't realize I was supposed to feel offended either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would you react to this? My MIL told DH that she is giving presents to the kids and to him for Christmas but will give me nothing. I know we have had a rocky relationship, but I would prefer she send nothing to anyone in our family if she will be that way.

1. DH should not have told you this.
2. DH needs to tell his mom not to bother sending gifts if she can't embrace the spirit of the season.
3. Sorry you have such a petty, MIL.

+1. On the spot, DH should have angrily told her not to bother getting any gifts if she was going to exclude you. Then she would have seen that her pettiness was putting her relationship with her son and grandchildren in jeopardy. If he is just passively listening to her mean comments without responding appropriately, your DH is part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

OP, what gift would you possibly want from your MIL? As long as the kids get their fifths, who cares?

The less gifts I get, the less junk we have in the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL and FIL never get me Christmas presents or birthday presents. They send cards and presents to the kids and to DH. It never occurred to me to be offended. I am not their kid or their grandkid. We are polite and friendly, but not close.

+1. I didn't realize I was supposed to feel offended either.

+2 I don't take it personally at all.

[Anonymous]

My MIL used to do this, too. In reality, I am pretty hard to buy things for. Before she stopped giving me gifts, I received the same present from her twice in one year -- a calendar.

I told my DH he was in charge of gifts for his parents after years of giving thoughtful gifts and never even receiving a thank you.

Even now, they sometimes give their grandson a gift and sometimes completely forget. Oh well.