My wife won't take her Zoloft

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First of all: all you have to do these days to get prescribed this kind of medication is one profound statement of "I feel so sad lately.", "I feel so stressed lately.", "I feel so anxious lately."

Medication should always be the last resort. No proper doctor will prescribe medication BEFORE recommending therapy. None. Unless it's a dramatic crisis situation where your wife wants to kill herself of course, that's different. But a good doctor will try to help your wife without simply putting her on drugs. Consider that first.

Then: your wife's decision not to take medication is first of all a good thing. It means she still feels strong and secure enough to think she can manage in a different way. Therapy is the way to go. Also talk to her. Try to seriously help her and not just put her on something so everyone's life gets easier.

Of course, most with untreated mental illness think they can manage.

If she refuses both therapy and meds, that is a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: No proper doctor will prescribe medication BEFORE recommending therapy. None.

Totally incorrect.

[Anonymous]

We had good friends where the wife did this. They ended up divorced after about 8 years, two more kids (conceived the two times they had sex after the birth of DC1), and his online and in person sexcapades with random women.
Husband now remarried with nice lady and two new kids, wife is still an angry psycho.

[Anonymous]

The wife should see a psychiatrist, preferably one who deals with PPD. It's one thing to make a reasoned decision not to take a particular medication or to take medication at all, but untreated PPD is not to be taken lightly, and she should be discussing it with a professional.

[Anonymous]

Either put it in her food or get a court order

[Anonymous]

Have you asked her WHY she doesn't want to?

Referral to therapist. Meds may or may not be appropriate. FYI, Zoloft has very high risk of sexual side effects. In a few years, you'll be one of the men here whining that you never have sex. (I am very pro rx for depression, but it sounds like you need to educate yourself about depression pretty damn fast.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would talk to her about your concerns and encourage her to get therapy. Medication is a serious matter and she has every right to not want to take it, but obviously she is having some kind of symptoms enough for her doctor to recommend it. I would support her decision and encourage her to get therapy. It works best when you takes meds AND do therapy but plenty of people are helped by therapy alone.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, a gynecologist <> psychiatrist.

Talk to her. Ask her what she wants. If she doesn't want psychiatric medication then she shouldn't be prescribed psychiatric medication unless she is truly a danger – not just an inconvenience.

Oh come on, untreated mental illness is more than just an "inconvenience", and it affects the whole family.

Well, let's make sure she has a proper diagnosis before you decide it's "untreated mental illness". So far the opinions pro seem to be: husband, gynecologist. My GP diagnosed me with depression and tried to put me on Prozac because I was tired all the time. Turned out to be a side effect of my hypertension medicine; when I switched meds, the fatigue went away.

In short, unless she (not you) agrees with the gyn's diagnosis, she should be evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist before you decide she has a mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Why do you think she can't handle being a stay at home mother right now? Are you worried for your kids? I can't tell why you think she needs the meds or why the doc prescribed them.

I know it's a different situation, but my first thought was Susan Yates. Remember her? Obviously mentally ill and killed her 5 kids and all I could think was how didn't her husband figure out something was wrong and try to get help before hand? So I wouldn't necessarily just leave it to the wife's good judgment but it depends on how this is affecting your family/kids whether you have a right to step in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either put it in her food or get a court order

Obviously, the first option is a crime and the second is not doable. You can't make someone take medication because you don't like them bring depressed. If there were an articulate basis to conclude she is an actual danger things might be different but OP has not given any indication that is the case.

[Anonymous]

Why doesn't she want to take it?

Zoloft worked quickly and effectively on dialing down my anxiety. It is prescribed in low doses for this. It also shut down all below-the-waist tingling and desire.

Elavil was a better fit for the depression and had the side benefit of helping me sleep better.

Then again, exercise helped more than anything.

Help her find her way, OP. You sound worried. Find a way to connect with your wife so that she feels safe telling you what her hesitation is, so you can move on. You seem to view the Zoloft as a magic bullet. Open your mind to other avenues she may choose to take. See them as valid too.

I really hope you can come together as resolve this as a team. Right now you seem in opposition to one another, and that is what I see is the real problem.

[Anonymous]

Does she belong to any kind of a mom's group where she can talk with some other parents? I remember taking Prozac after pregnancy and feeling like a loser, failure because I couldn't handle being a mom the way that other moms seemed to be able to. It really helped to talk to some other moms out there and to realize that I wasn't alone in feeling conflicted, etc. One thing that really helped me was Mothers of Preschoolers. Check out their national website to find a group near you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should listen to her and what she wants and what she thinks will improve her mental health. Otherwise you're just getting creepy and gaslight-y.

okay..I'm the first to be pro-woman on this forum but this is not fair. if she is legitimately depressed and not taking medication he has as right to be concerned and a right to want her to take her medication. there is no gas lighting going on here

Completely agree.

OP, you cant scehdule an appointment for your wife unless she is committed to going to that appointment.

A gyno should not willy nilly prescribe zoloft either...I think a second opinion is warranted. Your instincts might be correct,

Good luck OP. Its a hard road getting a spouse to seek help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently had a young child and my wife has been going through some issues and her Gyno recommended that she take Zoloft. She has refused to take it and I think that this is putting a toll on our marriage, because I don't think she can handle being a stay at home mother just yet. I have respected her decision not to take it but I feel as if she needs it for something else. Should I set up an appointment for therapy?

Zoloft is a medication that a psychiatrist should prescribe, not a gyno. He can recommend that it could be useful to see a psychiatrist if he thinks it's warranted, but he's not an expert in mental illness and doesn't get to make that prescription. Your wife is quite right not to take a psychotropic medication without a specialist having OK-ed it.

And for the love of all that's holy, make sure she is prescribed a gastroprotector too, if a qualified doctor does prescribe her Zoloft. I was put on Zoloft last year without a gastroprotector and it almost killed me because it *ruined* my stomach. I'm lucky I don't have permanent gastric damage from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you asked her WHY she doesn't want to?

Referral to therapist. Meds may or may not be appropriate. FYI, Zoloft has very high risk of sexual side effects. In a few years, you'll be one of the men here whining that you never have sex. (I am very pro rx for depression, but it sounds like you need to educate yourself about depression pretty damn fast.)

Screw the sex-related side effects. Zoloft can make a person SUICIDAL. It's not baby aspirin, it should not be prescribed lightly.