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Are all of our husbands jerks, or do we just post when they're acting jerky?
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Anonymous
10:42 here. My therapist is a man, so I actually find it kind of refreshing. He made the comment because I posted once on DCUMs about some issues with my husband and everybody said I should walk and that my DH has narcissistic personality disorder. I don't think my therapist is terribly interested in labels. |
Anonymous
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I'm another one who thinks my husband rocks. I'm absolutely a better person because of him. And while he's not 100% perfect, his intentions truly are 100% good. That goes a long way -- all the way -- in my book.
I'd love to see more appreciative posts about our husbands on this board. Sometimes it gets downright depressing around here. Sure everyone needs a safe, anonymous place to vent. But I enjoy the upbeat, happy, grateful posts, too. Like yours, zumbamom! 
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Anonymous
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I'll post my recent happy story about my DH to make up for bad-mouthing him on previous occasions on this site.
One of my DS' favorite toys is a toy weed whacker. He loves it. Last week he broke it - I thought it was beyond repair. My DH (an engineer by training) stayed up until 2 AM to design and build a part to fix the weed whacker. Our DS has now been walking around for a week telling everyone that his daddy can fix anything! Anyway, even though it was mostly for our DS, it reminded me of how sweet DH can be. |
Anonymous
| I think it's like a Call Center. You only hear about the things that are wrong or not working. People don't call in to say what a good job someone is doing or how well a product is functioning. |
Anonymous
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LOL - yep, I only post vents. It would feel like bragging to post random lovely things my DH does. But he's wonderful the vast majority of the time. He gets up early with DD and gets her dressed and fed so I can sleep in a bit. He takes her on little outings every weekend so I have the house to myself (YAY!!), including a weekly trip to the supermarket to stock up the pantry, and last time, he helped her pick out flowers for me -- so the rest of the week, my daughter would chirp, "Look, Mommy! I picked out sunflowers for you! Daddy said they're your favorite!"
He's great.
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Anonymous
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I think people mostly post vents.
My husbands loves that because it makes me articulate the good things he does instead of just the complaints, especially since I started pumping and read at work. I often walk in saying "wow, DCUM really made you look great today!" |
Anonymous
| I married my husband not because he was sexy or handsome (though I am attracted to him) and not because I thought he would make a lot of money (he's more of a brainiac policy wonk), but because he always does the right thing and I believed he always would, and because I liked the way his face lit up and the corners of his eyes crinkled when he talked to his little niece on the phone, and because he wanted to get to know the actual me instead of wanting me to conform to a checklist of what he was looking for. He said he felt like he won the lottery the day we got married. And he loves me and our kids intensely. So I am happy to put up with cluelessness, occasional outbursts of anger (which is usually fear or frustration expressed in typical male fashion), and inability to multitask. We are both 50 and I hope we get to spend 50 more years together. |
Anonymous
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In a way, girls are raised to put up with the men being jerks, and boys to take girls for granted.
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Anonymous
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Mine ranges between 50 and 80% scary jerk and I appreciate having an anonymous place to say it. There's no appropriate place to vent about that sort of thing. No one wants to hear it.
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Anonymous
Need to change this. Sometimes it seems like we should raise them opposite but can't because we know better. |
Anonymous
| Wow - I'll join in the group of ladies who feel exceptionally lucky in the husband they married. My husband is a gem - I like him more than I like me always. He is just a wonderful person. Sure, I get frustrated with him occasionally. But, he also has mentioned that he has spent a lot of time learning how to be the kind of person he is, which happened mostly before I met him. Thank you, whatever powers that be, for putting him in my life. |
Anonymous
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Just found out that a lovely family we know is taking the husband/father off life support very soon. No one deserves that, especially them!
I should not complain about my husband as much as I do. |
Anonymous
Not true. You might be a friend of mine who posts here. Her/your DH is a scary jerk I would say 90% of the time (but I don't live with you). You tell me about him and you are really depressed, lonely, and sad. You are a good person and that jerk does not deserve you and all that you do. I hope you continue to share with me because my deep down hope is that you get your self worth and self esteem back one day and leave that lazy bum. If you do find the strength one day, I'll still be here for you helping you and being your biggest cheerleader!! My ears are always open for listening to you vent (human contact, crying, and hugs are better than DCUM) and I'll never say I don't want to hear it, and I've never even thought that. If you are my friend, you know who I am, I won't say a word, but I will contine to listen as long as you continue to open up. I hope one day you realize that you deserve better and are a wonderful person who has a lot of beauty and kindness to offer the world. |
Anonymous
| ok. that almost made me cry. |
Anonymous
| Ladies, not all men are jerks. My husband is not and in fact, he is awesome. They are out there. Keep looking until you find a good one...or maybe get rid of the bad one you've got... |