Former friend, FB and insensitivity re: loss of baby - WWYD?

[Anonymous]

She really may not have gotten the message. I have several that have shown up months and months after people sent them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She really may not have gotten the message. I have several that have shown up months and months after people sent them.

This. Even when their message is in response to mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry for your loss.
Why not call her? Call all of your friends.
I see no reason for facebook

YES! Yesyesyes. I don't either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FB message is totally unreliable. Bet she never got the message.

Even if it's right there in the thread? She replied today to the old message about the message about the baby only to ask about me defriending her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FB message is totally unreliable. Bet she never got the message.

Even if it's right there in the thread? She replied today to the old message about the message about the baby only to ask about me defriending her.

If you can see it then she can see it, I would think.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't FB send a read receipt?

I would say something like this:

Hi Larlee,

Thanks for reaching out. I was wondering what happened, I think the last time when spoke was when I told you about baby Larlo's passing a few years back. Oddly I recently started getting tagged in what I thought was spam from your timeline, so I deleted the account assuming it was hacked. Nothing personal meant, but I thought, maybe something happened to the account since I found it odd that you didn't write back.

Anyway I truly understand the pace of life, so no worries.
As always, it is nice to hear from you. Hope things are well.

Best,
Larla



She is 3 years too late. Move on. And I am truly, truly sorry for your loss. It is a tough thing to experience. Even if she did not get a response, she should have reached out again sooner than now.

[Anonymous]

PP again. The 2nd route I would take, if not sending a direct note like above, would be to simply ignore her. For at least 3 years. By then it should fizzle out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't FB send a read receipt?

I would say something like this:

Hi Larlee,

Thanks for reaching out. I was wondering what happened, I think the last time when spoke was when I told you about baby Larlo's passing a few years back. Oddly I recently started getting tagged in what I thought was spam from your timeline, so I deleted the account assuming it was hacked. Nothing personal meant, but I thought, maybe something happened to the account since I found it odd that you didn't write back.

Anyway I truly understand the pace of life, so no worries.
As always, it is nice to hear from you. Hope things are well.

Best,
Larla



She is 3 years too late. Move on. And I am truly, truly sorry for your loss. It is a tough thing to experience. Even if she did not get a response, she should have reached out again sooner than now.

Why would the OP say this? "No worries" means that she truly does not care that her friend didn't acknowledge her loss. But, she DOES care. So if she's going to respond, why not say that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again. The 2nd route I would take, if not sending a direct note like above, would be to simply ignore her. For at least 3 years. By then it should fizzle out.

+1. Ignore her. I had a similar experience where an old friend sent me a "What's up" message on FB, I shared my very new miscarriage, and radio silence. I haven't defriended her but I do not wish to even pretend to care if she were to reach out again. Because honestly I don't. Cut your very minimal loss and move on.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand exactly how you feel. I'm going through a similar situation, putting distance between myself and unsupportive people who were not there for me during multiple losses. It's tough. Some people are just thoughtless. I think it is perfectly ok to not want to be friends anymore. I would probably not even put the effort into sending a return message at this point.

[Anonymous]

Nothing to do in this case. Why bother? She isn't really even your acquaintance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not tell her the truth -- "honestly I was a bit hurt when I shared with you that we lost your child and I never heard back. I realize it may have been hard for you to know what to say, as it was for many of my friends and acquaintances but it still hurt. However I unfriended you more recently -- not because of that exchange -- but because I kept getting tagged in phishing posts on your timeline and figured your account was hacked. Please feel free to add me back if you'd like."

Better yet -- why not send this to her via email rather than FB messenger; I tend not to use FB to communicate "serious" messages.

This is perfect. Be honest with her. There is no reason to pussyfoot around this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Doesn't FB send a read receipt?

I would say something like this:

Hi Larlee,

Thanks for reaching out. I was wondering what happened, I think the last time when spoke was when I told you about baby Larlo's passing a few years back. Oddly I recently started getting tagged in what I thought was spam from your timeline, so I deleted the account assuming it was hacked. Nothing personal meant, but I thought, maybe something happened to the account since I found it odd that you didn't write back.

Anyway I truly understand the pace of life, so no worries.
As always, it is nice to hear from you. Hope things are well.

Best,
Larla



She is 3 years too late. Move on. And I am truly, truly sorry for your loss. It is a tough thing to experience. Even if she did not get a response, she should have reached out again sooner than now.

Why would the OP say this? "No worries" means that she truly does not care that her friend didn't acknowledge her loss. But, she DOES care. So if she's going to respond, why not say that?

I meant no worries in the sense that I'm not worried anymore about how you chose to carry it, and you should worry about how I will carry it henceforth, peace out.

[Anonymous]

*should not