If your child assaulted another child at school would you apologize to the parents?

[Anonymous]

I have to wonder if something else is going on here to make you take this so personally. Why do you call it assault? That is a strong word to put on a littlel kid. Is there bad blood between you and the other kid's parents? How did the teacher handle it? If the teacher or parents had the kid apologize to your child, and the kid is being evaluated, what more do you need? I agree that the parents may not even know who you are or how bad the scratch was.

[Anonymous]

We have been on both sides of this issue. I was mortified and embarrassed when DS hurt another child. I sought out child's parent at pick-up and apologized within the week. As parent of victim, we received a parent phone call and a "get well soon" card from child (DS got a black eye). In another instance when DS was cut on the face by a different child in a previous year and we had to take him to the ER (not free of cost I might add) to be "glued," the parent never approached us out to apologize or ask how DS was doing. While the kids remained friends through that year of pre-school, we never spoke to family or extended a playdate invite.

[Anonymous]

My child was bit BADLY at the pool over the summer (she was 16 mos. old) and the mother was standing right there, no apology, no nothing. I almost went ballistic, mostly b/c she just stood there while my kid howled and her eye swelled shut. My anger was unbelievable. I had to leave to avoid going after the mom, but I could not believe she said NOTHING. AWFUL. So, OP, I know how you feel. You FEEL like your child has been assaulted, and you FEEL like you need/deserve an apology. I get it.

All that being said, another poser mentioned that the school is not legally allowed to tell the other parents who you are, so unless you call them, they may be in the dark. Try not to take it so personally and take heart that it sounds like the school is doing the right thing.

[Anonymous]

they're kids!


leave them alone.

your kid probably doesn't even remember who did that to him.

[Anonymous]

I guess I'm not sure what the parents should apologize for? The parents did not do anything, the child did. And, from what I can tell, it is stuff that goes on in every day care/preschool and they -hopefully- learn not to do it again and learn appropriate behavior.

That said, I would have tried to check in with the parents of the child that my DC bit but they would not release the name of the child or the parent. Probably the case with you too.

[Anonymous]

I unfortunatly had to face this just a few months ago. My son really hurt a classmate by scratching her in the face and it left some really awful marks. The irony is that the girl he hurt is someone he constantly says that he loves. The school was unable to tell me who he hurt, but it was very clear who it was because it was the girl whose face was all scratched up. I sent the mother of the hurt girl a little note saying how sorry I was about what happened and that both the school and I had spoken with my son. I would have been pissed if it was my kid and felt the need to reach out to the mom of the hurt girl.

[Anonymous]

I too empathize with how you feel. My DS is being continuously pushed, hit, scratched by a boy in his pre-school class. So far the teachers talk with him about it but it continues. I have gone in twice for conferences and still it continues. I am told that the parents are going to be brought in and a dialogue will ensue about what to do. I know who the little boy is, I've not met the parents. My son is not the only one who is being "bullied" (my words not his or theirs). I want an apology too, from both. I've not instructed my son to punch him back twice as hard so he'll stop. I've had enough. Time for action. My son's requests for him to stop don't work, the teachers requests and time outs don't work, not sure if the parents are aware (don't know how they couldn't know but some folks...) or are ignoring, allowing, even accepting it but as for me, time to strike back harder. Maybe now he'll stop. If he hits back harder, well then, perhaps I'll wait for the parents to pick up their child and talk with them myself. I get the "attack" feeling too.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, OP, better to call it a battery - a harmful or offensive touching of another. Some PPs will love that one - ha! You have every right to be upset, and to call it as you see it. How condescending of certain PPs to tell you to "breathe" - ugh.

[Anonymous]

When one of my kids was in preschool, he once hit a kid and I didn't apologize. My son did though. I just don't see what I did wrong and why I should apologize. Conversely, not once when my kids have been victims have I received an apology - nor would I have expected one. In fact, just the other day, my older child was the victim of some pretty serious bullying that involved violence. I met with the school to get details about both the incident and how they were going to keep him safe. But, I don't see any reason why the parents of the other kid should call me. In fact, I hope they don't and I actually hope the other kid doesn't bother to apologize to my son because that would mean they were closer in proximity than I hope ever occurs again.