Anyone have a boy and a girl four years apart?

[Anonymous]

My siblings and I are 2.5 years apart and already don't have anything in common. I know a family with children 4 years apart and it's even worse there. Sure the older child can take lots of teaching moments, be a big buddy etc. but when it comes to shared activities, interests, friends 4 years is a HUGE difference, especially when the children are young. Once they are both trough puberty this might change but just imagine:

What do you do with a 1 year old, what with a 5 year old?
What do you do with a 5 year old, what with a 9 year old?
What do you do with a 10 year old, what with a 14 year old?

4 years difference means that the children will always be in completely different stages of life which makes a really deep connection as in doing things together and sharing experiences very difficult. That doesn't mean they can't love each other deeply - but they don't really grow up together, they grow up after each other, that's the main difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I are 2.5 years apart and already don't have anything in common. I know a family with children 4 years apart and it's even worse there. Sure the older child can take lots of teaching moments, be a big buddy etc. but when it comes to shared activities, interests, friends 4 years is a HUGE difference, especially when the children are young. Once they are both trough puberty this might change but just imagine:

What do you do with a 1 year old, what with a 5 year old?
What do you do with a 5 year old, what with a 9 year old?
What do you do with a 10 year old, what with a 14 year old?

4 years difference means that the children will always be in completely different stages of life which makes a really deep connection as in doing things together and sharing experiences very difficult. That doesn't mean they can't love each other deeply - but they don't really grow up together, they grow up after each other, that's the main difference.

Do not agree with this at all. Of course they share experiences! Any activity both participate in, from a family dinner to a baseball game is a shared experience. There is no requirement that kids be at the same stage to have a deep connection. Totally arbitrary and very much varies by kid and family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I are 2.5 years apart and already don't have anything in common. I know a family with children 4 years apart and it's even worse there. Sure the older child can take lots of teaching moments, be a big buddy etc. but when it comes to shared activities, interests, friends 4 years is a HUGE difference, especially when the children are young. Once they are both trough puberty this might change but just imagine:

What do you do with a 1 year old, what with a 5 year old?
What do you do with a 5 year old, what with a 9 year old?
What do you do with a 10 year old, what with a 14 year old?

4 years difference means that the children will always be in completely different stages of life which makes a really deep connection as in doing things together and sharing experiences very difficult. That doesn't mean they can't love each other deeply - but they don't really grow up together, they grow up after each other, that's the main difference.

Do not agree with this at all. Of course they share experiences! Any activity both participate in, from a family dinner to a baseball game is a shared experience. There is no requirement that kids be at the same stage to have a deep connection. Totally arbitrary and very much varies by kid and family.

[Anonymous]

My son is 5 and my daughter is 1. So far it has been a great bond. My son adores his baby sister and my daughter follows my son around. I'm sure there will be conflict eventually but right now they are very good to each other. I think as pp mentioned the older one is old enough not be competitive and is proud of his sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I are 2.5 years apart and already don't have anything in common. I know a family with children 4 years apart and it's even worse there. Sure the older child can take lots of teaching moments, be a big buddy etc. but when it comes to shared activities, interests, friends 4 years is a HUGE difference, especially when the children are young. Once they are both trough puberty this might change but just imagine:

What do you do with a 1 year old, what with a 5 year old?
What do you do with a 5 year old, what with a 9 year old?
What do you do with a 10 year old, what with a 14 year old?

4 years difference means that the children will always be in completely different stages of life which makes a really deep connection as in doing things together and sharing experiences very difficult. That doesn't mean they can't love each other deeply - but they don't really grow up together, they grow up after each other, that's the main difference.

You do all the things a family does together and both kids participate at the level they are able and want to participate. These include - family vacations, family meals, tons of free play time at home, outings of all sorts (baseball games, family parties, Fall festivals, holiday events, days at the family pool, and on and on). How is this not growing up together?

I'm nearly 6 years younger than my sibling and we most definitely grew up together and are close as adults.

[Anonymous]

I have an older girl and younger boy. They have their own bedrooms, but they have decided to share a room for the past 2.5 years (she's 10, he's 6). They each have two beds in each room, so they just pair up. Most nights they sleep in DD's room, but sometimes they switch to DS's. This week, DD had a bad cough and they were both in tears bc they didn't want to split up even for a night.

It won't last forever, but it's awfully cute while it does.

[Anonymous]

I have a 5yo DS and 1 yo DD. He adores her!! He is so sweet and really takes care of her. The couple times he has accidentally hurt her when playing too rough, he feels just awful. She follows him around and has so much fun playing with him.

I guess it's true they're at different developmental levels, but DS hasn't had anyone to play with at home. So he's willing to bring himself to a one-year old level sometimes. He doesn't always give DD her personal space, but she is very assertive about letting him know that.

I love love having them this far apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I are 2.5 years apart and already don't have anything in common. I know a family with children 4 years apart and it's even worse there. Sure the older child can take lots of teaching moments, be a big buddy etc. but when it comes to shared activities, interests, friends 4 years is a HUGE difference, especially when the children are young. Once they are both trough puberty this might change but just imagine:

What do you do with a 1 year old, what with a 5 year old?
What do you do with a 5 year old, what with a 9 year old?
What do you do with a 10 year old, what with a 14 year old?

4 years difference means that the children will always be in completely different stages of life which makes a really deep connection as in doing things together and sharing experiences very difficult. That doesn't mean they can't love each other deeply - but they don't really grow up together, they grow up after each other, that's the main difference.

I also wholeheartedly disagree with this. I have siblings both very close in age and 7 to 10 years apart. We are all deeply bonded. And my 7 year old and three year old are certainly growing up together and sharing in activities. my three year old learned soccer long before her brother did precisely because her brother was playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD 3 yrs 9mo older than DS. They shared a room we moved when she was 6. She has sweet memories of her baby brother throwing his stuffed animals from his crib to wake her up. She would throw them back at him. They talk about this now that they are older -again, talk very sweetly about it. When DS was an infant I had his crib in a corner of the living room behind a partition. I often slept on the couch. Maybe the first 3 months before moving him into "their" room. DD was a HS senior when DS was a HS Freshmen. They had many of same teachers, knew each others friends, cheered each other's sports. I'd say they are quite close

Very similar experience here.