how bad is it to request that family limit total gifts to DS to what will fit in 1 carry-on suitcase

[Anonymous]

I think a gently worded request is not at all out of line.

And neither is leaving behind the gifts that don't fit! They can either ship them to you or save them for other visits but either way they will see that you mean what you say.

signed - mom of kids with lots of toys that "live" at Nana's

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your DC? Terrible problem to have for sure. You can have them contribute towards your DC's college fund or something rather than spending money on gifts that are not necessary. They can also donate on your DC's behalf. There are so many kids who will be happy with even one gift. I am sure those kids will thank your DC.

It is fine to ask them to keep to small gifts Z or even tell t them a particular toy, but it is NEVER acceptable to suggest money. Take a course in manners, PP.

[Anonymous]

Shipping is a ridiculous suggestion. It should not cost the op $$$ just bc the families themselves have gone overboard. Pack the car with what fits, leave behind what doesn't. If everything fits, when you get home you are free to decide what to go with it all

[Anonymous]

My mom often gives ME stuff that won't fit in my suitcase. I ship and then often end up donating. It is called not hurting mom's feelings. I 've tried talking to her, but it does not work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shipping is a ridiculous suggestion. It should not cost the op $$$ just bc the families themselves have gone overboard. Pack the car with what fits, leave behind what doesn't. If everything fits, when you get home you are free to decide what to go with it all

I bet the grandparents want to see the child open the present, which is not a totally unreasonable desire.

I have the same issue. If we aren't scheduled to see my inlaws for Christmas, I offer to order whatever they want to give on my amazon prime account,so my ILs get free shipping. Since we have to fly to see my ILs we ask that it fits in one luggage (usually they do a checked bag). We don't have the luggage to offer, so they must also gift us the luggage to bring back, or we hold onto it until next time.

The all time high was when the ILs were staying with us for a month, around the holidays. They arrived with 4 checked luggage bags full of gifts for my 2 kids. They had each item wrapped with a number on it, which corresponded to a schedule they had organized of what gift was presented on each day (so my kids got a few gifts every day). They would play with the gift of th day for about 10 minutes then break it, lose it, fight over it, etc. it also turned them into hyper, ungrateful brats. I tried to explain to my ILs that spoiling is counter productive, it doesn't make them love you more, it just makes them afwful to be around.

Now that my kids are elementary school age the gifts have slowed down, a little bit. Clothes are larger than tiny baby and toddler clothes, so are the toys. It's a matter of space. If you are driving, tell them you can't be bringing home a bike, or scooter, or something huge in the car. If they want to see the child's reaction to the gift, offer to FaceTime or Skype them when you present the child the gift at home (make sense)