MIL always saying I love you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this isn't a big problem in the scheme of things... but...

I have a MIL who always says "I love you" whenever we say goodbye. I feel that awkward moment like when you are dating someone and you don't want to say it back. Ironically I probably do love her in some ways, but...

I don't know. What to do?

Fake it 'til you make it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Get over yourself. This woman raised the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with.

2. Smile

3. Say, "Love you too Maisy."

4. Continue to get over yourself.

This

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds to me like there has been an incident or possibly multiple incidents in your past where "I love you" was used to manipulate or control or make you feel guilty. I've been there. It sucks.

Now, it doesn't sound like MIL is doing that, but it's hard to get past your instinctive self-protection and squirrelly reaction. Try to remember that in some families, I love you is just a goodbye that can be tossed off casually. Have a safe trip! I love you! It actually makes people feel good.

I know you don't want to be mean, and you can't help yourself. It's not helpful to say "get over yourself" because you are who you are.

Can you start by saying "You too Joanne!" Is that comfortable?

[Anonymous]

How can you not love the woman who birthed and raised your husband, and the grandmother of your children? The world needs more love not less. If I were you, I'd do some soul searching to figure out why someone telling me they love me makes me uncomfortable, because the problem is with you not her.

[Anonymous]

TBH, until I got on DCUM, I did not realize that folks had so many issues with MIL's.

My MIL says she loves me and I say it back - and mean it. She has all sons and she told me when we married that she would always try to treat me as if I were her daughter. She has - good and bad. So, we are FAMILY!! And family tries to love one another. Seriously, if you do not consider the mother of the man you married and the grandmother of your children your family, something is wrong with you.

[Anonymous]

Oh, the horror. My IL's and I say we love you all the time. I do love them, and they do love me. I've made their son happy, and they've all made me happy by genuinely welcoming me as family. I hope that one day, when my son is married, I can have that kind of relationship with my DIL too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can you not love the woman who birthed and raised your husband, and the grandmother of your children? The world needs more love not less. If I were you, I'd do some soul searching to figure out why someone telling me they love me makes me uncomfortable, because the problem is with you not her.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

My MIL does this and I've met her 4 or 5 times. Whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL does this and I've met her 4 or 5 times. Whatever.

Maybe she says it cause she knows she's stuck with you and is trying to be nice!

[Anonymous]

OP: Thanks for the post. Interesting. I am a recent MIL who adores my DIL. In our family we always end with, "I love You". She does not say, "I love You" back. I'm going to stop saying ILY....but I really do love her. She is young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My MIL does this and I've met her 4 or 5 times. Whatever.

Maybe she says it cause she knows she's stuck with you and is trying to be nice!

How can you be stuck with someone you never have to see?

[Anonymous]

If the worst thing that happens in your life is for someone to say "I love you," then you are doing pretty damn well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Get over yourself. This woman raised the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with.

2. Smile

3. Say, "Love you too Maisy."

4. Continue to get over yourself.

+ a million

[Anonymous]

My MIL does this too. I think it makes me uncomfortable because my family isn't like that and that's not what I'm used to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine does, too, but usually it's in the presence of DH or DD. I tend to reply "We love you, too!".

+1. I much prefer the "I love you" to the not-nice things she sometimes says, so I hardly about to discourage the good vibes!