Advice for scab pickers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another picker here, aged 43. I'm grateful that for the most part I can limit it, but as a child I had terrible eczema and picked and picked and it was a nightmare. Controlling allergen triggers helped my skin itself, and the decreased itching helped me to avoid the picking, but like the PP above I often pick new areas just because they are not smooth. And as I age - and I have fair skin - I have lots and lots of new places that are all of a sudden inexplicably hardened or scaly, and so I pick them, and cause bleeding, then pick the scabs, then cause scarring...it's a vicious cycle.

Thanks to others for sharing.

This is why I do it and the same reason I mess with my fingernails & cuticuls. I don't like the rough or uneven textures.

Can you put band-aids on the sores? The type that stick all the way around. Also, put some oniment on it so it stays moist, may slow healing but less itch. Part of the problem is at the sore heals it starts to itch so to someone like me, it feels better to pull the scab off to relieve the itching.

Finger and cuticle picking pp here. This reminds me of another thing that sort of helps, keeping my hands and cuticles moisturized. It's easier to pick at dry skin. I used to carry around burt's bees cuticle stuff to rub in at idle moments. (now that I have kids there are way fewer of those than when I was a single anxious woman taking metro all the time

I guess that'd fall under redirection. I also carried around some basic manicure tools, like cuticle pushers and nail buffers.

Anyway, that's pretty specific to fingers/nails, but maybe there's a way to apply the concepts for your dd. Honestly, finding a way to frame it for her in an emotionally healthy way is probably the best thing you can do for her. My mom never commented on it, maybe she didn't notice, but I never felt like it was something I'd have to hide from her because she'd hassle me about it, which would have made the anxiety (and then the behavior) worse. As it is, I can now control it fairly well, do not feel as impaired by it as other PPs do, and maybe the way she handled it is one reason why.

Hi, me again, sorry, I just remembered one way my mom framed this behavior for me. One of the silver linings of getting a sunburn was I would get a ton of pickable skin as it peeled. My mom noticed this and commented on my love of picking that skin, but did not pathologize it. I remember it being just a thing she noted about me, not something she tried to stop. Maybe she even acknowledged that it was fun to do. I'm only now imagining how differently I'd feel about it if she'd been punitive or judgy at all about it, but she was accepting.

So maybe don't think of it as how you can get your DD to stop. She will never stop, so if that's the choice you set up for her, she will always be failing. What she needs is to be able to control it and not feel like it is controlling her or like she is a bad person for it.

[Anonymous]

44-year-old PP here. I'm so pleased to have this conversation here! I forgot to note that I also chew my fingers and nails (no surprise based on my history...ha!). Sometimes that chewing can be helpful as it is distracting and it means that it is mor difficult to pick with no nails.

FWIW, my condition is not related to my anxiety levels. As a matter of fact, during the most stressful time of my life (infant twins), I didn't pick for ages. I have a lot of free time now, which seems to be a factor in increasing my picking.

There is just such an incredibly pleasurable feeling when the scab comes off or the area feels smooth that I can't see how any treatment would prove superior to that sensation.

PP, I love what you said about your mom not being judgy. I noticed my 20-year-old son was picking on his face, and after a while, I commented on it and relayed to him our family history. I gave him resources and explained that, if the behavior persisted and/or concerned him, he had options and could seek help from his doctor. Similarly, I see some hand-flexing tics in my 16-year-old daughter, and I've mentioned OCD and made sure she knws she's not crazy.

To the OP--I hope this discussion is helpful.

[Anonymous]

*more

[Anonymous]

As the mom of a 7 yr old skin picker, this is an awesome conversation to read.

The only thing that has -- sort of -- worked for us is redirection. At school they use theta-putty. At home we use one of those exercise squeeze balls. Also, we keep her nails really short.

[Anonymous]

My husband picks at his scalp but only at home or while in the car.

He is really successful and I never really noticed this about him while we were dating.

No big deal.

[Anonymous]

My parents both compulsively pick that I've come to believe that they do it unconsciously. It's crazy when I'm around them because I don't even think either of them realize it (they are divorced more than 20 years ago so they are doing this separately). I have been consciously aware as an adult that I have a tendency to pick and am making a concerted effort not to do it in front of my kids because I think it will rub off on them if they see me doing it.

This thread has been very enlightening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents both compulsively pick that I've come to believe that they do it unconsciously. It's crazy when I'm around them because I don't even think either of them realize it (they are divorced more than 20 years ago so they are doing this separately). I have been consciously aware as an adult that I have a tendency to pick and am making a concerted effort not to do it in front of my kids because I think it will rub off on them if they see me doing it.

This thread has been very enlightening.

*subconsciously although that may be doing it unconsciously too.