phantom allergy: what to say
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Anonymous
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I'm going to believe this one - I wirk in an emergency room and have seen this phenomenon before - a parent who believes with all their heart there is an allergy and the child is fine after multiple exposures.
I would tell the mom the whole incident. Privately, I'd be wondering if she's muchausen by proxy. |
Anonymous
| A friend of mine grew up being told his was allergic to chocolate and never allowed a bite of it. The dad let slip when he was 17 that he was never allergic, the mom just didn't want chocolate in the house because "she can't control herself around it." After all the years of lying though, the mom had managed to convince even herself that he was allergic according to the doctor and maybe "he'd outgrown it". The dad said they'd never even been to the doctor about it. There are really nutty people out there |
Anonymous
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My son has two friends like that. They both are allergic to peanuts yet I've seen them eat peanuts. One of them ate a bag of peanut m&ms. The other ate a snickers bar. Neither happened at my house. We were at a football game.
I have a severe food allergy so I'm not one to doubt. However, I do think allergies in general are way over diagnosed. |
Anonymous
| 20% of kids with peanut allergies outgrow them - he is 9, maybe he outgrew it and his mom just didn't know it yet. |
Anonymous
Benadryl can reduce these symptoms yes, but it cannot stop anaphylaxis. An antihistamine pill, such as diphenhydramine (Benadryl), isn't sufficient to treat anaphylaxis. These medications can help relieve allergy symptoms, but work too slowly in a severe reaction. http://www.mayoclinic.org/first-aid/first-aid-anaphylaxis/basics/art-20056608 |
Anonymous
That's why I carry liquid benedryl. I'm not sure why you're questioning me as though you're skeptical. I have an epi pen because the allergist gave me one. He said that just because I haven't experienced anaphylaxis yet, doesn't mean that I won't. |
Anonymous
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OP here. To address some of the questions...I don't know how the mom had the epi-pen if the kid is not allergic because I am fortunate enough not to have to deal with allergies in my house (we have plenty of other challenges) so I just don't know the ins-and-outs and was going on what I was told. This is a relatively new friendship for my child and for me as we are new to the area. As for the PB, I put it on the top shelf in the pantry to make sure make sure my other kids didn't get at it while he was here (that was my big worry because they like to dip carrots in it). My understanding was (from the mom) that the kid had a clear idea of what he could and could not have. My 9 year old often forages through the pantry getting snacks and I don't have a problem with that. However we have had a discussion about him letting his friend eat a banned product without telling me instantly as I had explained that his friend should not eat nuts. But that's another issue.
Not to sound defensive but I note that in response to the pp who said I should have better supervision...you may be right but I rarely still track my 9 year old around. The reason why I didn't say anything to the mom (and for the record but DH said I should have immediately done so) was that I got a strong feeling from the kid that he DID know what he could eat and was fine with nuts but his mom wasn't. I felt really sad for him when he sort of intimated that it was a parental issue (mom) and emphasized that he was allowed nuts when with his dad and never got sick. Having read some of the posts I don't think I did the right thing. I followed my heart in this instance instead of my head as the kid seemed sad and nervous when trying to persuade me not to call his mom. Otherwise he was in excellent form. Problem is that having said nothing at the time, I certainly cannot say anything now. Interestingly we're due to meet the dad at a game soon. Obviously I have NO intention of saying anything to him but I'll be intrigued to see if he says anything to me. And in this instance I stand corrected. DH wins. I should have called mom. |
Anonymous
| I hope you are appropriately punishing your son. You say a 9 year old doesn't need to be supervised...and yet your kid gave his friend food that could have killed him had he truly been deathly allergic. You're REALLY lucky the kid didn't get sick. Your son is clearly not responsible enough to be unsupervised. |
Anonymous
I also hope your son clearly understands that next time a friend is allergic to something, he cannot give the food to the kid just because "Larlo was allergic but he was fine eating it" I have a 7 year old who has a couple of friends with food allergies. She knows to come to me and say "mom Larla wants a Popsicle. Is it ok for her to have?" |
Anonymous
My step mother did this with my sister, but about sugar. Because she didn't want her to grow up and be fat. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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OP - thanks for the thoughtful response. I still think you should tell her. As one PP noted, it is possible he is on the 20 percent of kids who outgrow peanut allergies. Do you know what I would do if you called and told me my DD had been eating peanut butter with no reaction? A dance of joy. It is also possible he is reacting to some degree but not realizing it. If that is true, you might save his life, because the next reaction could be much worse.
Finally, there is a chance she is crazy. But the right thing to do is assume she's not and give her this information. Even if it comes with some embarrassment for the delay. |
Anonymous
+1 My childhood neighbor, "Jack"had all sorts of allergies according to his mother but would eat the things he was supposedly allergic to at our house & while being cared for by his grandparents all the time & never had a reaction. My mother freaked out the first time she found out he ate chocolate at our house because his mother told her it made his throat close up (as did nuts, fruit & several other things). His mother wasn't home (& this was before most people had cell phones) so my mom brought him to the ER.Jack's dad got home before his mother & heard the message on the answering machine from my mother explaining what had happened & met us there. The doctor talked to Jack's dad for a while then Jack's dad told us he was fine & we went home.Later, Jack's dad told my parents that the ER had seen Jack there before when his grandparents brought him in under similar circumstances & had done all kinds of tests & determined he had no signs of any allergic reactions whatsoever. Apparently the grandparents had told Jack's mother all this but she let his dad (& everyone else) continue to believe he had all these allergies. My DH is an ER physician &, unfortunately, cases like Jack's are more common than one might think. These cases are not only sad because they are indicative of muchausen-by-proxy, a serious mental disorder that often results in a parent causing a child to be seriously ill, sometimes even resulting in the child's death, but also because it makes it all the more difficult for those who actually do have life-threatening allergies to be taken seriously. It's also possible that the child in OP's post was diagnosed with a peanut allergy but, unbeknownst to his mother, has since outgrown it. In any case, I'm inclined to think OP is telling the truth about what happened. |
Anonymous
That's really heartbreaking, PP. Did your sister end up developing any kind of eating disorder as a result of this? |
Anonymous
Oddly, no!!! We laugh about it now. But they would have ice cream at her birthday and wouldn't let her have any. It was insane. |