Am I the only one that loves beach vacation with my ILs?

[Anonymous]

Good for you. I loved my MIL but I wouldn't want to vacation with them. Vacation time is for us to reconnect as husband and wife (even though the kids are there).

We never vacation with either side of the family. Like to keep it intimate. Glad you have so much fun.

Our kids are the only grandkids on either side of the family, so it would be boring for them to hang out with adults. We choose kid friendly destinations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I alone in loving the extended-family beach vacation? We spend 2 weeks at the beach with MIL every summer and extended family across multiple houses. There is always some drama, a little irritation around the middle of week two, etc., but we look forward to it every year. Most nights are dinner for 25/30 rotating across the houses but I truly love the whole extended family even with the crazy thrown in.

My kids (6 and 9) look forward to it all year, it is more important to them than Christmas. This is the only time they see some of their cousins some years. In years past I have actually stayed longer than DH when he had to go back to DC for work for part of the two weeks but I chose to stay at the beach with the kids and MIL.

Now if this were FIL and his wife, two weeks at the beach would be all kinds of painful. Knowing that makes me appreciate this more.

OP, your situation is HUGELY DIFFERENT than those of us who are forced to spend their only vacation time in a location they hate, with people that don't acknowledge their existence for the remainder of the year, in the name of bragging rights. You have separate houses, for crying out loud! MIL "won't allow" that. PITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you. I loved my MIL but I wouldn't want to vacation with them. Vacation time is for us to reconnect as husband and wife (even though the kids are there).

We never vacation with either side of the family. Like to keep it intimate. Glad you have so much fun.

Our kids are the only grandkids on either side of the family, so it would be boring for them to hang out with adults. We choose kid friendly destinations.

+10000

Vacation time is simply too precious to spend with any IL's!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That "across multiple houses" bit is useful. With enough space to have a little privacy here and there and generally good-natured people, I could see how it would be great!

My family has used this rationale for never renting one of the big awesome posh houses. We do a beach week or 5 days every year. Its a BIG family so the numbers vary year to year and would probably need 2 of those big houses.

We essentially rent out a floor of a beach hotel every year- by now we've known the owners since I was little! I always envied my friends who were from sort of more sophisticated families who did the big OBX rentals and stuff while we were in a beach similar to Ocean City, MD. But I will say that maybe its the space that we have that has allowed this vacation to happen over the course of decades now in some way or another without any incident.

FWIW my DH has seemed to really take to them over the 4-5 years he's been around. He needs more alone time than I do and he just sort of takes it when he wants to and no one cares- so many different personalities and needs that people do a lot of their own thing when they need to because we hang out most of the time anyway, so they can always meet up later.

Trust me, having to cross a highway to go to the beach is nothing "posh" or "sophisticated". Going *south* in the summer??!! Who in their right mind DOES this??!! And those shit shacks are nothing more than poorly built investments for the shady OBX realtors. No thank you. You are missing nothing. Give me MV or ACK any day of the year.

The key is what OP mentioned: separate houses. Your IL's have a brain, OP. Be grateful.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Not to mention, the ILs can't stand each other and they put on their game face for the one week of vacation per year that we have? Poorly, I might add. Burns me up just to think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That "across multiple houses" bit is useful. With enough space to have a little privacy here and there and generally good-natured people, I could see how it would be great!

My family has used this rationale for never renting one of the big awesome posh houses. We do a beach week or 5 days every year. Its a BIG family so the numbers vary year to year and would probably need 2 of those big houses.

We essentially rent out a floor of a beach hotel every year- by now we've known the owners since I was little! I always envied my friends who were from sort of more sophisticated families who did the big OBX rentals and stuff while we were in a beach similar to Ocean City, MD. But I will say that maybe its the space that we have that has allowed this vacation to happen over the course of decades now in some way or another without any incident.

FWIW my DH has seemed to really take to them over the 4-5 years he's been around. He needs more alone time than I do and he just sort of takes it when he wants to and no one cares- so many different personalities and needs that people do a lot of their own thing when they need to because we hang out most of the time anyway, so they can always meet up later.

Trust me, having to cross a highway to go to the beach is nothing "posh" or "sophisticated". Going *south* in the summer??!! Who in their right mind DOES this??!! And those shit shacks are nothing more than poorly built investments for the shady OBX realtors. No thank you. You are missing nothing. Give me MV or ACK any day of the year.

The key is what OP mentioned: separate houses. Your IL's have a brain, OP. Be grateful.

I'm PP you quoted- well I feel better about our beach hotels now. I thought OBX was all mansions and upscale people, etc. Never been there myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That "across multiple houses" bit is useful. With enough space to have a little privacy here and there and generally good-natured people, I could see how it would be great!

My family has used this rationale for never renting one of the big awesome posh houses. We do a beach week or 5 days every year. Its a BIG family so the numbers vary year to year and would probably need 2 of those big houses.

We essentially rent out a floor of a beach hotel every year- by now we've known the owners since I was little! I always envied my friends who were from sort of more sophisticated families who did the big OBX rentals and stuff while we were in a beach similar to Ocean City, MD. But I will say that maybe its the space that we have that has allowed this vacation to happen over the course of decades now in some way or another without any incident.

FWIW my DH has seemed to really take to them over the 4-5 years he's been around. He needs more alone time than I do and he just sort of takes it when he wants to and no one cares- so many different personalities and needs that people do a lot of their own thing when they need to because we hang out most of the time anyway, so they can always meet up later.

Trust me, having to cross a highway to go to the beach is nothing "posh" or "sophisticated". Going *south* in the summer??!! Who in their right mind DOES this??!! And those shit shacks are nothing more than poorly built investments for the shady OBX realtors. No thank you. You are missing nothing. Give me MV or ACK any day of the year.

The key is what OP mentioned: separate houses. Your IL's have a brain, OP. Be grateful.

I'm PP you quoted- well I feel better about our beach hotels now. I thought OBX was all mansions and upscale people, etc. Never been there myself.

Far from it! If you went there, you would see for yourself. Hixville, USA! Unless you haven't seen any better, I suppose.

[Anonymous]

OP, you guys get separate houses - your MIL is officially "normal" - can we come vacation with you guys??!!

[Anonymous]

Every time we vacationed with MIl, she tried to get rid of me. She said it is so I can "rest", but she basically won't let me near DH or DC. So my rest was to do the dishes, cook, etc., while she spent time with my family. When I came close to DH or DC, she told me to "go away, get some rest". Once I even sat away from them at the beach because she would not let me near the rest of the family. I told her I enjoy my family, I don't want to by myself, but she won't listen. After two times of this insanity I refuse to vacation with her - I get the same treatment at every family event anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you guys get separate houses - your MIL is officially "normal" - can we come vacation with you guys??!!

By separate houses, I mean that MIL and her siblings each get a separate house to house themselves along with their kids and grandkids. So, in our house we will have MIL, our family of four and SIL's family of four. We also have guests that visit for short windows over the two weeks, for example my sister usually joins us for a couple of days. I have to say that this family does pick up members along the way. We have a number of participants that are not technically family but have long been treated as such and show up every summer for the full two weeks.

I agree that it is not for everyone and I have enjoyed/felt sympathy for the many stories of family "vacations" over a number a summer threads. I just wanted to confirm what I thought, which is that many families also have great extended family vacations.