Opposite gender friends if sex is completely off the table?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of guy friends. I think that a few of them would definitely be ok sleeping with me if the opportunity ever presented itself. But they seem to know it won't, and they seem perfectly ok hanging with me anyway. We can talk about all sorts of things while we drink beers or wine and hang out. But most of my guy friends seem to be friends with me without any interest in sex on anyone's part. I have a few married guy friends with whom I can hang out with just them, with just their wife, or with both, and it's cool.

I think some people really do think that men and women can't truly be friends because of the sex thing. I'm not one of those people. I really value my male friendships, and my female friendships.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of guy friends. I think that a few of them would definitely be ok sleeping with me if the opportunity ever presented itself. But they seem to know it won't, and they seem perfectly ok hanging with me anyway. We can talk about all sorts of things while we drink beers or wine and hang out. But most of my guy friends seem to be friends with me without any interest in sex on anyone's part. I have a few married guy friends with whom I can hang out with just them, with just their wife, or with both, and it's cool.

I think some people really do think that men and women can't truly be friends because of the sex thing. I'm not one of those people. I really value my male friendships, and my female friendships.

I agree with this; I'm a guy, and I guarantee you, there is almost no woman I've ever met, friend or not, who I haven't gone through the mental thought process of "sleep with her or not". Sometimes that process is...vanishingly short, but it most certainly never has anything to do with whether they (or I) are currently attached to someone else. It almost always has to do with physical attraction.

That said: I have friendships with a number of women, even a few who I find physically attractive (I have at least three lesbian friends like this), where the whole question is entirely off the table, and women who I don't find at all attractive. You can do it. In general? no, it's easier to be friends with men.