Do I have to agree to changing my son's last name?

[Anonymous]

OP,

For peace of mind, ask your lawyer whether he would prevail in court. Be mindful that a legal challenge would be costly and unless he's loaded will likely not happen.

[Anonymous]

WOW, so the moment he is ordered child support he wants his son to have the same last name. WHAT AN ASSHOLE. I would definitely not do it. There is no way he can make you do this.

[Anonymous]

Do not change your kid's name. I mean, the kid is as much yours as his (well even though you do all the parenting), so the kid has just as much claim on your name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You absolutely do not have to change your child's name. Don't let him pressure you into it.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP,
I'm not a lawyer, don't think anyone else responding is. Ask a lawyer!

[Anonymous]

I'd agree to let the child decide when they turn 16-18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd agree to let the child decide when they turn 16-18.

No because by then he'll have 10+ years of school records under another name and possibly some work history. I say before age 4 or never.
My youngest brother (a half-sibling) didn't have my dad's last name until he was in middle school. It has been a real PITA for him.

[Anonymous]

I would not agree. The pool 'reason' is stupid. He sounds like a douche. 3 years later? Not likely to prevail if he takes you to court IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not have to change his name. It would be hard for a previously uninvolved parent to convince a judge to change a pre-schooler's name.

This exactly. There is no way you would ever be forced to agree to this. Stand your ground. Your DS should have your last name!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,
I'm not a lawyer, don't think anyone else responding is. Ask a lawyer!

I'm an attorney and I said that she didn't have to.

It doesn't have to be an in depth answer in order to be correct. The truth is that it is unlikely that a judge would order a name change. Period. It's a loaded request.

[Anonymous]

PP Attorney,
She would if a judge ordered the name change. What are the chances?

OP,
Is there any good in this? Your child is going to have an involved father in his life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP Attorney,
She would if a judge ordered the name change. What are the chances?

OP,
Is there any good in this? Your child is going to have an involved father in his life.

A father can be involved without the child having his name. Only a shallow man would say I can't fully commit to fathering simply because the child doesn't have the father's name.

OP can see if he will compromise to a hyphenated last name.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

I never met a mother who couldn't commit to mothering because her child didn't have the same last name.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd agree to let the child decide when they turn 16-18.

No because by then he'll have 10+ years of school records under another name and possibly some work history. I say before age 4 or never.
My youngest brother (a half-sibling) didn't have my dad's last name until he was in middle school. It has been a real PITA for him.

Women who get married and change their names also have school and work records under their maiden names. How would this be different than what many women deal with all the time?