Really don't want to bring my teens friend on our family vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:.... but he really wants me to. He gets bored with his brother and wants to have a friend with him. WWYD?

I went on a trip with my sister's family. Both kids were allowed to bring a friend. The girls got along great, but the boys weren't speaking to each other at the end. They never really got their close friendship back, either!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I don't know the friend very well. Nice kid, but I am a bit of a loner so I think I would feel like I was entertaining the whole time. And not very relaxing.

I would feel the exact same way, and would likely say no. Family trips are supposed to be relaxing and about family bonding. Plus, the brothers should be bonding as well, and will likely not with the friend there.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I don't know the friend very well. Nice kid, but I am a bit of a loner so I think I would feel like I was entertaining the whole time. And not very relaxing.

This might be a good opportunity to get to know your teen's friend- I found that harder with my DS than with my DD.

[Anonymous]

You are the parent, he is the kid. He is not your friend. He should feel lucky he can even go on a vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the parent, he is the kid. He is not your friend. He should feel lucky he can even go on a vacation.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I don't know the friend very well. Nice kid, but I am a bit of a loner so I think I would feel like I was entertaining the whole time. And not very relaxing.

You will have to do less entertaining if your kid has a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I don't know the friend very well. Nice kid, but I am a bit of a loner so I think I would feel like I was entertaining the whole time. And not very relaxing.

I would feel the exact same way, and would likely say no. Family trips are supposed to be relaxing and about family bonding. Plus, the brothers should be bonding as well, and will likely not with the friend there.

OP, I completely agree with this. Other posters have disregarded the change in dynamics when another child -- and another huge responsibility to make sure that child is safe -- play into your family vacation.

Your DC really, really cannot TRY to be a good sport about this? I mean, is it a week or 2-week vacation? Won't your DC be able to hang out with this kid ALL SUMMER LONG when you get home?

Dynamics definitely change. DON'T DO IT!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are the parent, he is the kid. He is not your friend. He should feel lucky he can even go on a vacation.

LOL yeah but if you tell him that, he'll say, "no problem, leave me home by myself then!"

Personally I would say no. Family time is family time.

[Anonymous]

OP here: we are not staying in a 4 star resort --more like a 3BR house.

[Anonymous]

For how long?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: we are not staying in a 4 star resort --more like a 3BR house.

so you will have plenty of space.

A younger sibling can be a bummer. Think of the vacation from the kid's perspective. It may not be the great opportunity you think it is, since it is obvious to all that "family time" is just not something teens value. If this is a week at the beach, and you can extract a promise to treat the younger sibling well, I think you will have a better vacation with the friend along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, I completely agree with this. Other posters have disregarded the change in dynamics when another child -- and another huge responsibility to make sure that child is safe -- play into your family vacation.

I don't think they're disregarding it, I don't think they experience it as difficult. Another person along - even a person who wonderfully occupies my child and is self sufficient - is a big drain for me. I prefer not to do it on our family vacation. My husband would let our children invite a couple friends each, once they're beyond the stage of needing lots of adult help. He's on the side of the kids occupying each other and giving him more space to enjoy himself on vacation. I suspect the posters suggesting the OP invite the friend are more like my husband. And the ones saying it's ok not to invite the friend are more like you and me.

[Anonymous]

My child is an only child. I will not take only child friends with us on vacation. They are way too high maintenance and it's no fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I don't know the friend very well. Nice kid, but I am a bit of a loner so I think I would feel like I was entertaining the whole time. And not very relaxing.

I would feel the exact same way, and would likely say no. Family trips are supposed to be relaxing and about family bonding. Plus, the brothers should be bonding as well, and will likely not with the friend there.

+2

Yes to all this. I wouldn't want another child with us (stresses me), and as much of a drag as it might be for older DC they can find a way to get along with siblings or, at the least, without having a playmate along. Now we would travel with another family, but not just an extra child.

[Anonymous]

What if you then had three teens who were bored and needed entertaining?