FAS still possible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here, unfortunately, money is a bit of an issue with us (more specifically, lack of). We just want to make sure we will be able to have the finances to give DS all that he needs for his future.

PP here. I have two boys on fetal alchool spectrum. With one, I knew early on though the doctors were not inclined to put a label on it until middle of elementary school. With the other, it blind sided me and we didn't see it until high school. I really don't find that I spend that much money because of it. It is going to limit them in the future in that I doubt one of them will go to college - the second I am not sure yet. I have paid for some therapy co-pays, tutoring and some summer school due to failing classes in school. If anything, it's more of a time suck in that I have a lot of school meetings (IEPs, meetings with teachers, etc.) and extra driving (summer school and therapy, which was only for one and that ended before he started kindergarten). But, I know that others have a very different experience. The most common thing I've seen others spend money on are tutors.

No one in my husband's family went to college. One sibling does drywall, one is in the army, one is a receptionist. All have as rich or perhaps richer lives than my husband, who has a college degree and a well-paying job he doesn't like. Two only graduated high school though alternative schools/programs. They are not school smart (and perhaps there are some learning disabilities?), but they are curious and interested in the world. All are good family men and women. None do evil to the wold either thoughtlessly or purposely. I'd focus more on that than school (for all children). Curiosity and desire to be engaged with the world is more important than doing well in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

OP here, unfortunately, money is a bit of an issue with us (more specifically, lack of). We just want to make sure we will be able to have the finances to give DS all that he needs for his future.

PP here. I have two boys on fetal alchool spectrum. With one, I knew early on though the doctors were not inclined to put a label on it until middle of elementary school. With the other, it blind sided me and we didn't see it until high school. I really don't find that I spend that much money because of it. It is going to limit them in the future in that I doubt one of them will go to college - the second I am not sure yet. I have paid for some therapy co-pays, tutoring and some summer school due to failing classes in school. If anything, it's more of a time suck in that I have a lot of school meetings (IEPs, meetings with teachers, etc.) and extra driving (summer school and therapy, which was only for one and that ended before he started kindergarten). But, I know that others have a very different experience. The most common thing I've seen others spend money on are tutors.

No one in my husband's family went to college. One sibling does drywall, one is in the army, one is a receptionist. All have as rich or perhaps richer lives than my husband, who has a college degree and a well-paying job he doesn't like. Two only graduated high school though alternative schools/programs. They are not school smart (and perhaps there are some learning disabilities?), but they are curious and interested in the world. All are good family men and women. None do evil to the wold either thoughtlessly or purposely. I'd focus more on that than school (for all children). Curiosity and desire to be engaged with the world is more important than doing well in school.

Amen, Amen! Love this outlook.

OP, given what you have shared here, you are not suddenly going to have something huge related to the FAS jump out and require a huge monetary investment. I have an adopted child with FAS spectrum, and even with diagnoses and a few issues, there hasn't been hardly any related expenses. There are often free programs and tutoring through the school system (even if you homeschool or attend a private school).

However, the bigger truth here is that we never know what expenses lie ahead in taking care of our children. All sorts of strange, awful, scary, unexpected things pop up throughout a child's life. Part of being a parent is accepting the unexpected in our lives, even as it relates to financial things. Does this mean you shouldn't plan? Well no, of course not. But, it sounds like in your case you have every reason to believe that your child is going to be well enough to avoid the outlay of tens of thousands of dollars. My advice: go ahead and adopt again if you feel the call to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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It is going to limit them in the future in that I doubt one of them will go to college - the second I am not sure yet.

No one in my husband's family went to college. One sibling does drywall, one is in the army, one is a receptionist. All have as rich or perhaps richer lives than my husband, who has a college degree and a well-paying job he doesn't like. Two only graduated high school though alternative schools/programs. They are not school smart (and perhaps there are some learning disabilities?), but they are curious and interested in the world. All are good family men and women. None do evil to the wold either thoughtlessly or purposely. I'd focus more on that than school (for all children). Curiosity and desire to be engaged with the world is more important than doing well in school.

PP here. I agree with what you are saying and come from a family like your husband. What I meant was that it will limit my son in that he will not have that as an option, not that he won't have a great life.