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Any other private school parents considering switching to public school?
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Anonymous
8:40 switcher here again. Once we decided to make the switch, DH and I put together a game plan halfway through the school year to prepare the kids. We started by making more playdates with the neighborhood kids that they would see at the public school, we talked about how cool it was that the neighborhood kids got to take the school bus, we took them to some of the school's events (the school play, an annual fundraiser, etc.) and started telling them lots of stories about our own childhood experiences in public elementary school. They gradually started asking questions about it, wondered whether they would ever go there and when we thought the time was right we told them we thought it was a great idea for them to try to go to the same kind of school we did. We talked about all the things that would be different (mostly because our local school is much bigger and, believe it or not, has better facilities and more options than the private school we were in and what they could do there and we also talked about what they would miss about their current school. A couple of times when they mentioned that they would miss the private school or said they didn't want to switch, we firmly said that parents make decisions about school, that we wanted the best thing for them and our family and that we really thought this would be great. As I said in an earlier post, it has exceeded even our wildest hopes. And though there are still some things that they miss about their old school, we are all so much happier in this one that we would not consider switching back. As for telling the other parents, again, DH and I decided on a game plan. We chose not to criticize old school when leaving to the other parents, but instead focused on a few opportunities available at the new school not available at the private as the determinative factors. Of course, it was very funny how many parents said back to us how often they considered switching, how much they wondered if private school was worth the money or if public would give them a similar foundation, if their children's values were getting skewed, etc. It was still nerve-wracking leaving, wondering whether we had made the right switch -- grass always looking greener -- but once we got to the new school, we realized nearly immediately that it was great for our kids and we have and can continue to give them lots of outside experiences with all the money we are no longer spending on private tuition. HTH |
Anonymous
| pp- thanks so much for giving me the confidence to make the same move you did. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks to the 3 PPs who shared their own experiences. I am gaining in confidence that we can make the change, but it is so reassuring to hear from others who have done this and not only survived, but thrived.
"8:40 switcher" and others, how long into the new school year did it take before you felt like your kids had gotten into a "groove", where they'd established a new set of friends and so forth? Also, to what extent do you and your kids maintain relationships with kids and parents at the old school? |
Anonymous
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8:40 switcher here. I have one DC extrovert and one DC introvert. The extrovert had no trouble at all making new friends, bonding with teacher or finding a groove. Much had to do with teacher recognizing that DC could do more and therefore gave DC more and DC has thrived academically and socially.
In all honesty, we were concerned about introvert DC making the change. We did not like how in the old school peer pressure seemed to affect DC so much (and yes, this was one reason for our switch) and we were nervous that shyness plus the tendency to cave in to peer pressure might make the switch more difficult for DC. Due to a largely fortuitous class placement, DC has found a completely different style of friends to hang out with. Though it still took DC a while -- a few months -- to be comfortable with the new routines and teacher, the difference in friendships was/is remarkable. I think the difficulty of the peer pressure in the private school made DC more wary of who to make friends with in this school, making the choices much better ones resulting in DC being more relaxed at school as well as having a lot more playdates. Again, much was due to to the good luck of being placed in a class with an unusual grouping of kids -- something we could not have foreseen, but has been a blessing. Have you and DH considered going to some school events? I tagged along with my neighbors to some parents night out events and PTA meetings. It was a great way to see who the moms and dads were, what the issues of the school were and the school play we went to was a great way to see who the kids were. Kind of like eavesdropping. : ) |
Anonymous
| Forgot to answer the last part of your questions. There are some families and kids we have maintained relationships with from the private school just as there are some families and kids we maintain relationships with from nursery school. |
Anonymous
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My children attended public elementary school in DC and are now at Sidwell Friends for middle and high school. It is definitely tough for us to pay that tuition, but I do value the educational experience and I'll pay for it as long as I can. I think my children would do well in public school too, but there is a real richness in the curriculum at a good private school and the teachers take time to really engage with the kids. I value that.
Good luck with your choices. These are definitely scary times, and I totally understand the reluctance to make a big commitment. |
Anonymous
| To 8:40: Could you please share which public school you are in? It sounds wonderful! |
Anonymous
| 8:40 here. Our school IS wonderful. I don't wish to out myself, but will say it is one of the close-in suburb MoCo elementary schools that you hear about a lot on these boards (think Potomac, Bethesda, Chevy Chase districts and all the wonderful elementary schools they have). As I said in an earlier post, I shouldn't have been surprised by how wonderful it is since it reflects so much the wonderful giving community we live in. |
Anonymous
| We decided to re-enroll both kids. Our decision was based on the "intangibles" that our private school offers: 1) the level of support that I believe the teachers at our school generally receive (dedicated time for lesson planning, training, development), and my belief that teachers who feel more supported can focus their energy on the best classroom experience; 2) racial and ethnic diversity; 3) the physical environment of the school is exceptional. I must say it was a down-to-the-wire decision, because the economy seems to be in a death spiral. We will definitely go public at the next transition point, and have discussed this with our children already. |
Anonymous
| We are waiting for the financial aid offer before we make the final decision, but it looks like public is increasingly our only option. We could limp along for a few more years, but I think it will be harder on dc to make the switch the longer we leave it. I'd rather have the pain now than wait until later when it could be worse. |
Anonymous
How did your kids react to this? |
Anonymous
10:42 here. Their reactions have been very positive (so far). Using the suggestions provided by "8:40 switcher", we have graaaadually been talking up the concept of attending school in the neighborhood, the significance of participating in our local community, and how special it will be when they "get" to attend school just a few blocks away. So we talk about it as something to be attained and they seem quite enthusiastic. I should add that we saw an education consultant when we originally applied to private schools, and that consultant was adamant that parents shouldn't expect a "one stop shop" for children, that an expactation of pre-k to 12 at a single school wasn't always the best for the child. Her point was that personalities, needs and interests develop over time and you shouldn't expect that a place that was "perfect" for your 4 year old will be just the ticket culturally, socially, etc for your 11 year old. So we have generally set the expectation with our kids that changing schools during your long pre-college career is a normal and expected thing. Also, there is a significant diplomatic/political contingent at our school and so it is not unusual for someone to leave because parents are moving back to [home country/home state], so the idea of staying at one school forever and ever isn't that deeply ingrained, which probably helps my cause. Of course, the rubber won't kid the road until DC#1 nears the transition point! |
Anonymous
| we're down to the wire - trying to make our decision in the next few weeks. |
Anonymous
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We are struggling with doing this. We recently moved to a new neighborhood with a good public school. All the kids in the neighborhood go there, and it is hard to think of our kids missing out on those friendships - because it really does matter. We love our dd's school, but it is a 25 minute commute for us now.
Not to mention the money... |
Anonymous
| PP, if I were you I would go public. I grew up with a great public school and it was so nice being friends with the neighbor kids and having that wonderful warm experience of the neighborhood and school being all tied together. It also helped our parents with playdates, looking out for "issues" down the road, etc. I would not have traded it for the world. |