Anyone else sick of "stuff"

[Anonymous]

I don't know what to do about all the junk. It piles up everywhere, fills every closet, every piece of furniture that has a door or a drawer, any space anywhere, and then it spills onto the floor, spreading, multiplying, filling the attic, seeping through the house, oozing down into the basement, into the garage, spilling into the yard.

I can't control it!!

I work every day at getting rid of it. I had a huge yard sale, and still my house is full of stuff. I give stuff away every week, but it's growing faster than I can shovel it out. Burning the house down might stop it, but then where would we live? I'm being strangled by stuff.

[Anonymous]

The answer lies in blocking stuff from getting into your lives in the first place. The corollary is getting the existing stuff out too. But you already knew that, right?

Easier said than done, I agree. I'm holding onto stuff thinking of what I paid for it, hoping the next child down the line will play with it when s/he is old enough, thinking the child who used it might like to have it one day when s/he is a parent for their kids, blah blah blah. My mom didn't save one toy of mine, not one. I wish she had saved just a few sentimental items, so I save more of my kids' things than I should.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

The answer lies in blocking stuff from getting into your lives in the first place.

Of course, but I'm a PP whose major problem with this point is that other people -- relatives, teachers, neighbors, kids' friends -- are undermining us! I'm doing a little exercise here as I type, looking around our first floor, and about 80% of the crap that is driving me nuts is stuff that neither my DH nor I procured.

And herein lies the problem, with me anyway, which is that I'm a tad bit too sentimental or polite or weak? to just march that birthday present-art project-hand-knit sweater right out to the alley as it comes in the door. Why does any family need 3 sentimental menorahs? We had one that did the job, why do people give us additional ones? Now I feel like I need to find a spot for them, manage them, and keep them because of the sentiment involved. Not such a huge deal I know, but when you multiply that scenario X 100, you have a problem. and we have a problem.

[Anonymous]

I know.. my daughter just had a birthday party and of all the gifts she got, only a few were appropriate and something she really wanted.

When she was at school, I returned the ones that were precocious (makeup, bratz dolls, etc) and had tags, and donated the others. I took the money and bought her one big toy that I knew she'd really like. She didn't care when she realized she got a new dollhouse out of the arrangement.

We also have a one in/ one out rule. She knows going into it that if she gets 12 new toys, 12 old toys are going to Goodwill. I made sure my family knows about this rule too. In fact, I always happen to have an impromptu toy closet clean out whenever my family visits. The expression on their faces when they see how vast their collection is, is priceless and does the trick!

I have no problem returning toys we don't need or ones I know the kids will never play with. I can donate brand new toys without any guilt if they're not needed.

I also sell most of my kids' clothes on Ebay and make a pretty decent amount for next year's clothes budget, so that's an area I struggle with. I save one season for a whole year to sell 3 months before that season starts next year. I have bins and bins of clothes waiting for the right time next year to sell.

Also, it helps if you're married to an OCD Mr. Clean keeping you on your toes.

[Anonymous]

I think it is easier if you are SAH. (Please no flames)

The 13:19 poster talked about returning toys while her daughter was at school. Well, I am in the office all day and if we are able to get the kids down by 8PM, I might try to straighten up, get a workout in, run to target or the grocery store, finish up stuff from the office - or perhaps some professional development.

It needs to be a team effort and once you get the process down, the burden is on all to be part of the process. Even if it means that your husband takes the kids for a few hours so you can sort through clothes and get a goodwill bag together.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP. Its tough when everyone is in the house to get organized. My husband takes the kids camping every year and i do my best to purge and organize while they are gone. they rarely notice the changes and it makes daily life easier.

[Anonymous]

I do a huge purge of toys twice yearly -- before bday and Christmas. We freecycle or donate the toys. My daughter is old enought to participate in this now and she is a huge help. She also really enjoys freecycling and donating. She loves the idea that someone else might get to have fun with her toys that she no longer uses. I am keeping a few things. I have kept a few pieces of clothing -- christening gown -- hanna anderson baby zipper from first Christmas. I am also in the process of getting her big girl room finished. In her big girl room there will be a monstrous wall unit and a closet fitted out with shelves, racks, etc. All of her toys will go into her room. I have told her she can play with them where ever she wants, but if she goes to sleep and they are not in her room, I am throwing them away.

My husband loves to save things. If he buys new clothing, I help him adhere to the one in one out rule. Every now and then, I resort to subterfuge. Things go in the laundry and don't come back. He opens junk mail. I get the mail and my goal is to give him nothing. I shred absolutely everything that is not critical.

I have also found that if I ask if anyone wants to keep junk, there is always an argument to keep it. If I just get rid of it, no one even notices it.

As for family...I ask that they buy her clothes. It saves me money. I let the grandmas go wild for bday and Christmas -- hubby and I buy a few special things, for example, I ordered 4 things for Christmas for her -- saves us money. My husband has no siblings. Mine buys each of a Christmas tree ornament.

And I have to say the two of us are not regular buyers of junk. We don't buy clothes regularly. We don't buy household goods regularly. We just don't have time to shop and I don't make time although I desperately need more clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As for family...I ask that they buy her clothes. It saves me money. I let the grandmas go wild for bday and Christmas -- hubby and I buy a few special things, for example, I ordered 4 things for Christmas for her -- saves us money. My husband has no siblings. Mine buys each of a Christmas tree ornament.

I wish my family would listen if I asked them to do this. They only want to get my kids *the* most exciting whatsit whoosit of the year. Clothes? Yawn, boring - they'd say. Heck, half the time my mom will ask me if she can buy the gift I've picked out for DD and let it be from her since she doesn't live nearby to know what she'd like and it would save her the shipping. And god forbid my kids had to wear clothing picked out by MIL and DH's sisters!! She'd be in skanky "bratz big girl" clothes at age 7!

[Anonymous]

11:02, I am the immediate PP. I agree -- my situation only works b/c everyone listens to me for the most part. My MIL loves buying clothes for my daughter and nine times out of ten buys her lovely outfits with no hoochie mamma or inappropriate characters. It also helps that my mom is a horrible shopper and is more than happy to take direction from me. My GM is still with us and began sending me a check several years ago and a note asking me to be Santa to save her the shopping trip. I buy my daughter one thing and use the rest for bills.

I forgot. We have focused Christmas gifts for family members on shared experiences. We did tea at the Ritz for my mom, MIL, sis, my daughter (age 4), and me one year. That was a lot of fun. We are doing an appointment for family pictures with a professional photographer with MIL this year. She is very excited about that. I did a photographer with she and my daughter last year and she loved it. So I am modeling gifts of no stuff or minimal stuff for my family.

In my family, I know my mom is relieved. But you are so right -- only works if the stuff givers listen!!

[Anonymous]

This is all very easy. Don't buy more stuff and be specific on gifts.

For Christmas, my family knows that only 1 gift per family. So, take my cousins (the "smiths"). The smiths have 2 grown children, who are my cousins, my cousins both have children, so only 1 gift from the entire smith line. We then fill in any gaps with gifts from us. THe rest of the year, we buy no other toys, except one birthday gift. We have no gift birthday parties. My children still have pleanty to play with.

I constantly am throwing away and donating. We have no problem keeping the clutter down and keeping ourselves on budget. We also do not buy junk. If we can't afford top of the line stuff, we wait and buy quality, so we are not left wanting something else because the cheap junk thing starts braking or looking ratty.

My other strategy is keeping clean. We have a cleaning service come twice a month. Prior to the cleaners coming, I go through every closet, junk drawer, every kitchen cabinet, the pantry, the garage, do each piece of laundry and sort every single scrap of paper, pay every bill, call on every dispute, and make any outstanding appointment. This way after the cleaning crew comes, my house and my life is 100% organized. As a working mom, not having systems would cause my entire life to erupt in chaos. If you do this once every 2 weeks, the task becomes quite easy. A cluttered home is a reflection of a cluttered mind.

[Anonymous]

OP, as far as toys go, I throw out anything that is cheap (happy meal toys) that the kids would not miss. Sometimes I even toss useless birthday gifts that have been used a couple of times. I also have NO trouble tossing dangerous toys (choking or tripping hazard like jump ropes left around). I never let the kids see what I am up to. I plan to keep their better quality toys forever, for the memories and hopefully for the grandchildren. That is only a few things like Thomas.

Clothing is easy to get rid of. When it starts to look bad, it's gone. Yes I donate, but some things get thrown out in the trash if they are in bad shape.

I never buy dishes. And I put tons of thought into buying anymore kitchen stuff.
I have a large fireproof box for photos.
Shoes get trashed quickly.

You can donate books to the public library.
As a rule, if something does not have sentimental or monetary value, it goes.

[Anonymous]

For the past few years I've been living by the rule "if it isn't beautiful or functional, don't bring it into your house." Once you start applying that criteria to things, it really cuts down on your acquisitions.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, when your kids get a bit older they don't accumulate so much stuff. Birthday parties get smaller, and your daughter starts receiving bracelets instead of the dreaded bratz dollhouse-like-thingy (DD got one of those, even she was appalled). They no longer get 3 stuffed animals per birthday party. Your son (don't know which you have, I have both) will still receive larger stuff, but at least you didn't have to invite the entire kindergarten to his party.

You could also tell other parents to give your kids only books. I haven't done that, but I know other moms who have this rule and it didn't offend me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My other strategy is keeping clean. We have a cleaning service come twice a month. Prior to the cleaners coming, I go through every closet, junk drawer, every kitchen cabinet, the pantry, the garage, do each piece of laundry and sort every single scrap of paper, pay every bill, call on every dispute, and make any outstanding appointment. This way after the cleaning crew comes, my house and my life is 100% organized. As a working mom, not having systems would cause my entire life to erupt in chaos. If you do this once every 2 weeks, the task becomes quite easy. A cluttered home is a reflection of a cluttered mind.

Wow! I want to be you!

Well, I want to dream about being you anyhow! That sounds great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My other strategy is keeping clean. We have a cleaning service come twice a month. Prior to the cleaners coming, I go through every closet, junk drawer, every kitchen cabinet, the pantry, the garage, do each piece of laundry and sort every single scrap of paper, pay every bill, call on every dispute, and make any outstanding appointment. This way after the cleaning crew comes, my house and my life is 100% organized. As a working mom, not having systems would cause my entire life to erupt in chaos. If you do this once every 2 weeks, the task becomes quite easy. A cluttered home is a reflection of a cluttered mind.

Wow! I want to be you!

Well, I want to dream about being you anyhow! That sounds great.

HAHA, you don't want to be me, there are many areas I fall short!

It is overwhelming at first, but if you keep up with it, it gets much easier...just maintenance. I used to be a SAHM with no direction or discipline, but when I went back to work, this disorganization was not going to work. I had to do something to maintain some sort of order or else I would have lost my mind. I started out by following "Fly Lady". Keeps me motivated.