One of mine really likes having a "formal" name and many nicknames, and we use three variations interchangeably. My other only identifies with the nickname, which is used exclusively, and really does not like to be referred to by the legal name (it is a normal name, but no one ever uses it, so DC doesn't feel like it belongs). DC understands the family history of the names, but strongly prefers the nickname. So I'd say it is a good thing that you use both of her names fairly often, so she is comfortable with either one. |
I was called a nickname from early childhood through college that was too immature-sounding for the business world, so I started using my given name. I hate that half the world knows me as one name and the other half knows me as the other name. Every time I call someone, I have to pause and think which name they call me before I say who is calling. I made damn sure DD has a name that is nearly impossible to put a nickname to. |
Family member with a 4-syllable name (yikes!)...with 9 letters and she goes by a 5 letter nickname at home and with family. It breaks my heart when she runs out of room on her papers - one day she'll figure out spacing. Ha! But she does view one name for inside the house and the other for outside. She never, ever introduces herself by her nickname. But uses it to describe herself in family situations... |
Our daughter is 5 and goes by her nickname (Meg) almost all of the time. It's how we introduce her, refer to her, how she introduces herself, what she's called in school. Her dad and I call her Margaret sometimes and she has no confusion about her given name versus her nickname. |
Is a shortened version of the full name really considered a nickname? I always thought a nickname was more like using a totally unrelated name, like calling a kid Red when his name was Peter.
In any case, my son has a full name, but we use a shortened version. And then there are spin-offs- nicknames to the nickname- I can think of two that he's called regularly. We almost never call him by his full name, but his old daycare did, so many of his friends from there refer to him by his full name. Everyone else calls him either the shortened version, or the two spin off nicknames. |
LOL, I think your MIL is cray and you should probably use this as an indication that most of what she says is equally cray. |
My son is Ricky but his given name is Richard. We've always called him Ricky but he knows his given name is Richard. I think he was around 3 1/2 when he figured it out. |
my wife's dad was called Dick for his whole young childhood (middle name was Richard). (Yeah, I still don't get where that nickname comes from. ) Then the first day of school his mom told him...by the way, your name is really John so thats what they'll call you at school.
He was, understandably, angry. I think he got school corrected quickly on what to call him. |
All of my kids have a shortened version of their name and it hasn't confused them. I was a little irritated when I realized if you provide a nickname on the school papers, your child will be known exclusively by that nickname in school. If I would have known that, I wouldn't have provided the nickname. |
Do your kids go by their shortened name exclusively or do they flip flop between their full and shortened names? I ask because I have an Andrew who really only goes by Drew. I put Andrew on registration forms, but note that we call him Drew. He responds to Andrew, but is only called that by doctors who see it as his official name. It'd be weird for him to be called Andrew at school since almost no one calls him that. |
My guess is your MIL doesn't like one of the names, and the "confusion" business is just to try and get you to stop using whichever version she doesn't like.
We've called my daughter all kinds of made-up names, and she's always known perfectly well who we're talking to and what her actual name is. |
Your MIL is an idiot. I am a Jennifer who is called 'Jenny', 'Jen' and 'Jennifer' depending on the crowd person. Whatever I started with -with a particular person is what the call me. Family /childhood/HS friends call me 'Jenny', college friends and friends post-college 'Jen', work and casual aquaintences'Jennifer'.
My second grader has used both his given name and his nickname and he loves the option. It's hardly confusing. |
Oh and when I hear 'Jenny' it warms my heart because that means this person is incredibly dear to me and knows my family too. A few friends I met later life have switched to 'Jenny' because we are so close. |
My son is Joseph. Since birth, we've called him mainly Joe, but frequently call him Joseph (not just when I'm angry either...although I am guilty of using the full first and middle name when he's getting into trouble). Estimating we call him Joe 60%, Joseph 35%, and the rest of the time I call him Jos, JoJo, BoBo, Funky Monkey, Jose and Hose B, Butterscotch, goofy goober...well the list goes on and on. He's 2 now, and isn't confused at all. He's responded to his names from as early as babies do, never had a problem. I don't even know if this thought is valid, but I suspect if you call her by a name starting with JA most of the time, that's probably what she's been responding to. But either way, she's probably not confused. |