Rich but send kids to urban public school?

[Anonymous]

We are wealthy (2 homes; $650k HHI)--and do public schools but in Arlington. We left DC because we are public school products and wanted the same for our kids-ethnic diversity, SES diversity--bit didn't want to sacrifice quality of education. We also wanted a neighborhood where almost all of the kids are at the same school, same rec teams, etc. our DC neighborhood--every kid on the block was at a different private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your public school is decent, just do it.

Ha, you should read the real estate forum. Most people give up a bigger/nice house or to get to better schools.

I guess if you put your kids on a "decent" school v. a great school because you wanted a better house you are selfish. But if you but your kid on a decent school v. a great private school because you want to do the common good, you are just a great citizen.

We live in a decent but not great school. We have a HHI of close to $1 million and love our home. DH and I are both ivy league educated and products of decent public schools. We save $$$ and live way below our means. I devote my time to my children. A rating on some website does not necessarily dictate a good or bad school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are wealthy (2 homes; $650k HHI)--and do public schools but in Arlington. We left DC because we are public school products and wanted the same for our kids-ethnic diversity, SES diversity--bit didn't want to sacrifice quality of education. We also wanted a neighborhood where almost all of the kids are at the same school, same rec teams, etc. our DC neighborhood--every kid on the block was at a different private school.

Are you in South Arlington? My sense is that North Arlington is not very SES diverse these days. Homes are too expensive. Or are there specific schools that pull from more SES diverse neighborhoods?

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are combined 600-800k HHI/year and live in Cleveland Park. Both products of middle class backgrounds and public school. Many around us do private school, though I am sensing a shift, especially for the earlier years. We actually find it more important for the SES diversity than anything (DC is race-diverse in most every ward - it's the SES that I think counts more in DC's case). We don't want our kids growing up thinking that what we have is what everyone has. We also think the schools are good as evidenced by others who we know who go to them and like it, so we're happy with our options. Our aim is to keep public the whole way through. With the $ we save on school before college, we can spend so much more on other things we value more for our kids if/when needed/wanted - tutors, foreign travel/exposure, grad school etc.

Our aim is to have our children be happy. If the excel, they will excel no matter where they go. If they are average, hopefully they can find their bliss. We are not trying to create hedge fund managers and presidents to validate ourselves. We want to produce well-rounded, decent people and beings, and this is our path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your public school is decent, just do it.

Ha, you should read the real estate forum. Most people give up a bigger/nice house or to get to better schools.

I guess if you put your kids on a "decent" school v. a great school because you wanted a better house you are selfish. But if you but your kid on a decent school v. a great private school because you want to do the common good, you are just a great citizen.

In my opinion a lot of upper middle class parents are overly concerned with school quality. Good parenting is what's most important. I'd never give up a great house with decent schools to move to a more expensive one with great schools, or even worse pay for private. I believe no matter what as long as the schools they attend are pretty good my kids will be more than OK. Besides I'd rather pass down all the money I saved not moving to a more expensive place or paying for privates to my kids.

+1. I went to pretty crappy public schools, got into an "elite" college and top ten law school. I am grateful for the experience I had. I draw the line at safety issues, though. Gangs have become more active at the school I went to, two kids were murdered on separate occasions due to gang related activity. And lots of fighting and drugs, but that didn't bother me so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to public dcps and switched to private big three at seventh grade. I was a white, smart, well behaved girl from well off, educated parents. It took me about a semester to adjust at private school. I was fine.

My parents sent to public elementary primarily for social reasons. They wanted me to be in a socioeconomically diverse environment. I went to school with kids from all over the city and the world. It was a great experience. I'm glad I didn't spend my entire schooling surrounded by kids who were just like me.

Exposing our kids to diversity is very important to my husband and I. We want our kids to have exposure to people if different backgrounds and this is hard to get at a private. Can you comment a bit on what the differences were between you public versus private education?

Many of my classmates at public were out of bounds - east of the park, back when very few white families lived east of the park. Many were from immigrant families or foreign service brats from other countries. Some were poor, some were middle class, a few were like me, wealthier. But it takes some effort to schlep your kids across the park, so most had parents who considered education important.

As a native English speaker with highly educated parents, I often was put in the role of teacher's helper. I would help re-explain the lesson to small groups of kids when we were working on assignments. Sometimes a kid who was bilingual would help me explain things to the Latino kids who had subpar English. Some kids spoke languages no one else spoke, so I'd communicate with a lot of pointing and drawing. I was also sent to first grade classrooms to lead reading groups. I think this was all a self esteem boost to me.

Three of my teachers were great. The rest were ok, but not great. I tended to get my work done early and sit quietly for stretches of time reading books. My parents only let me take good books to school, usually biographies - not sweet valley twins, etc. My parents had me write essays on the books.

So I arrived at private school ahead in Writing and History, but fairly behind in math and woefully behind in science. That gap could have been remedied with a few summer programs.

The social adjustment was rough. I went being one of the few white girls in my class to being one of many white girls. It was weird. I had never felt such pressure to fit in, because I couldn't really fit into a norm at my public. It was so diverse there was no norm, plus very few kids there could afford Benetton etc.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing your story. Do you think if you had gone to public school all the way through your adult life would have turned out any different?

[Anonymous]

I'm in SF, well off, and send my DD to public school. I want her to learn to be around all kinds of people. I know that we can supplement at home whatever she's not getting from school. I want DD to really see how much other kids her age struggle. She found out this week for example that her friend couldn't turn in her science project because they don't have a printer and the one at school isn't working. That some of her friends don't go to Europe for the summer but instead go to the free Boys & Girls Club if they're lucky.

We send extra money in for kids who can't afford field trips, I am very active in the PTA, volunteer a ton, etc. She's in 4th grade and it's working out just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH and I are combined 600-800k HHI/year and live in Cleveland Park. Both products of middle class backgrounds and public school. Many around us do private school, though I am sensing a shift, especially for the earlier years. We actually find it more important for the SES diversity than anything (DC is race-diverse in most every ward - it's the SES that I think counts more in DC's case). We don't want our kids growing up thinking that what we have is what everyone has. We also think the schools are good as evidenced by others who we know who go to them and like it, so we're happy with our options. Our aim is to keep public the whole way through. With the $ we save on school before college, we can spend so much more on other things we value more for our kids if/when needed/wanted - tutors, foreign travel/exposure, grad school etc.

Our aim is to have our children be happy. If the excel, they will excel no matter where they go. If they are average, hopefully they can find their bliss. We are not trying to create hedge fund managers and presidents to validate ourselves. We want to produce well-rounded, decent people and beings, and this is our path.

This, along with diversity linkage, is why we send our child to public school. Although we are very well off, to afford private school, enrichment programs, camps with more than one child would be astronomical.

We currently live in Minnesota (corporate move) which is evolving, becoming more of a diverse state. I'm from LA and grew up with many different cultures around me; I actually felt uncomfortable in MN at first. Exposing your children to different cultures and income levels should be a strong consideration. You can always change schools later, middle, high school- it would be hard to transfer either way anyhow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think its crazy to not at least try public school, at least for the elem years.

Elementary school is the foundation years. Do what's best for your child.

[Anonymous]

We are in the same boat as the other Cleveland Park poster. Same neighborhood, slightly lower HHI, but we could absolutely afford private - and it has been important to us to send our kids the public route. Obviously we chose a neighborhood where the local schools (eaton, wilson) are strong enough to make this possible without feeling like we are compromising our kids educations. I agree with whoever said that supporting local institutions is important.

I really value that my kids are exposed to more diversity than at the privates that I visited. Eaton especially thrives on diversity, and I think it's fantastic that my kids have learned to play, work and enjoy kids from all different backgrounds. I think it will serve them later in life times a million. Amoung our neighbors, our choise is not super popular yet, but I think it has been the right choice for us. And I think my kids are thriving - and enjoying all the extras we are therefore able to add to their lives, like international travel and the occasional tutor or summer program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to public dcps and switched to private big three at seventh grade. I was a white, smart, well behaved girl from well off, educated parents. It took me about a semester to adjust at private school. I was fine.

My parents sent to public elementary primarily for social reasons. They wanted me to be in a socioeconomically diverse environment. I went to school with kids from all over the city and the world. It was a great experience. I'm glad I didn't spend my entire schooling surrounded by kids who were just like me.

Exposing our kids to diversity is very important to my husband and I. We want our kids to have exposure to people if different backgrounds and this is hard to get at a private. Can you comment a bit on what the differences were between you public versus private education?

Are your friends and relatives diverse? That will matter more. MoCo schools at least are very segregated. Both by ethnicity and SES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to public dcps and switched to private big three at seventh grade. I was a white, smart, well behaved girl from well off, educated parents. It took me about a semester to adjust at private school. I was fine.

My parents sent to public elementary primarily for social reasons. They wanted me to be in a socioeconomically diverse environment. I went to school with kids from all over the city and the world. It was a great experience. I'm glad I didn't spend my entire schooling surrounded by kids who were just like me.

Exposing our kids to diversity is very important to my husband and I. We want our kids to have exposure to people if different backgrounds and this is hard to get at a private. Can you comment a bit on what the differences were between you public versus private education?

Are your friends and relatives diverse? That will matter more. MoCo schools at least are very segregated. Both by ethnicity and SES.

I want to elaborate a little here. Most white kids I know who went to school with large minority populations AND whose family did NOT have friends and family who were diverse, ended up racist. A school environment very different from how you live your personal life can actually backfire.

[Anonymous]

The biggest factor in your kid's academic success is your support and engagement. And I think that's true even in many if not most private schools.

Went to an elite private in DC - one of the "Big 3". I did well academically and loved my teachers and friends .... But I suspect I would have been happy at my local public, too (grew up in Montgomery County). My parents were involved and supportive.

[Anonymous]

I love the humility of DCUM posters.