I feel weird that my first love is getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand how you feel OP. When you've given your heart and soul to someone, you never REALLY leave them behind. Like someone else said.

Dealing with the heart break of going through two long-term relationships before meeting my DH, I have to wonder: why do we love so recklessly? I don't think we were meant to give our hearts away so freely and without caution. Because that pain does NOT go away easy. Losing a relationship that you thought would last forever feels like a death, seriously. It's the death of the future you thought you once had together, it's a death of your dreams with that person and your spiritual connection to them.

One major love was in high school, another was in college. Again, in hindsight, part of me wishes I had just stayed single. I would have been happier, single and waiting for the man I'd married, aka my DH.

But having gone through those relationships, I will always care for my exes and will wish the best for them.

I am literally the male equivalent of you. But look at it this way, if we had never been in these relationships, how would we know what we needed and wanted for the long term?

[Anonymous]

Man here.
I'm with you OP. My first love got married six years after I did, and I was surprised by my reaction to it. Up until that point, there were no lingering feelings. I was happily married, and very happy for her. Out of the blue, I got this feeling like someone punched me in the gut. I remembered how we used to feel about each other all those years ago, and how I often thought about us getting married. Seeing her marry someone else felt like someone hijacked that fantasy, even though I wouldn't have traded my wife for her in a million years. It went away, but it was very odd.

[Anonymous]

I felt the same way. I don't think about it too often anymore.