Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does he say when you ask him about it?

Change the subject...never will acknowledge the issue. It's hard to break free of the cycle. It's take him the way he is or not at all. FWIW- The kids shared the candy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you call him out on it? Sounds like he's been getting away with it for a while so he continues to do it as a power play.

Going forward I would tell him up front that you expect everyone to be treated the same way and if not, you will not be participating. In this circumstance to spare the kids' feelings I would I have covered that one basket is missing so let's divide up the rest so everyone can enjoy. If the kids are younger/older and able to deal, I would leave everything behind and tell him that until he can be respectful of all of you, you will not allow your kids to participate.

Good post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep your children away from this manipulative crazy.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the siblings have not united against him and refused to play this game.

Why is yr sister ok with just her child getting the gift? If it was my family, one of my siblings would have forbidden any kid to get their gift, until every child had the exact same gift.

My ILs and my parents would never even think of doing something like this to their grandkids. And neither my siblings nor my DHs siblings would allow anything like this to happen.

What's wrong with you people?

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father chooses to make one of his children feel bad each holiday. For example, he has four grandchildren three with one daughter and one with the other one. This year he decided to buy Easter baskets only for his grandkid's through one daughter and did nothing for the others kid. Everyone spent the day together too. They are similar ages. It's seems like he's always doing something to make someone feel bad. What makes someone do that? Your thoughts?

I have no idea what makes someone do such things! Similar dynamics in my family, but I thought I was crazy, imagining things, over-sensitive, etc. He's clever; he mixes it up. What does such a person get out of this? Is it a cover for sexual molestation by any chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the siblings have not united against him and refused to play this game.

Why is yr sister ok with just her child getting the gift? If it was my family, one of my siblings would have forbidden any kid to get their gift, until every child had the exact same gift.

My ILs and my parents would never even think of doing something like this to their grandkids. And neither my siblings nor my DHs siblings would allow anything like this to happen.

What's wrong with you people?

PP
Well at first it is so shocking, it's difficult to process. It's unbelievable, isn't it?
There is one favorite, and the parents are quite satisfied with just their kid getting the gift (or whatever the current prize might be.) The divide and conquer dynamic amongst the siblings was already established before I became a member of this family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does he say when you ask him about it?

Change the subject...never will acknowledge the issue. It's hard to break free of the cycle. It's take him the way he is or not at all. FWIW- The kids shared the candy.

See, there's your problem. You let him get away with it. Time to raise holy hell and make a big ugly scene. Do not let him get away with this passive aggressive bullshit. Confront aggressively, early and often.