Need info on Artificial Insemination / IUI or ICI (at home or doctor)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm getting a huge immature vibe. Maybe it's the emoticons. Or the euphemism for the word vagina. Or the desire to hide your child's genetic make up.

Your kid will find out. Eventually:
1. Someone will tell him since you are discussing it with the homeland.
2. A medical condition will reveal itself that makes accurate medical history a priority
3. Your kid will have a trait that is impossible coming from your husband

And then the child will feel betrayed and lied to for decades. Also the irresponsibility of keeping a huge part of his medical history a secret boggles my mind.

Fwiw, known sperm donor. Home insemination. Pos after first try.

same comment here

I don't think you read the question properly... I don't see anyone asking the opinion about what to tell to kid about donor sperm. Question is about AI ... Thanks for your unnecessary opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm getting a huge immature vibe. Maybe it's the emoticons. Or the euphemism for the word vagina. Or the desire to hide your child's genetic make up.

Your kid will find out. Eventually:
1. Someone will tell him since you are discussing it with the homeland.
2. A medical condition will reveal itself that makes accurate medical history a priority
3. Your kid will have a trait that is impossible coming from your husband

And then the child will feel betrayed and lied to for decades. Also the irresponsibility of keeping a huge part of his medical history a secret boggles my mind.

Fwiw, known sperm donor. Home insemination. Pos after first try.

same comment here

I don't think you read the question properly... I don't see anyone asking the opinion about what to tell to kid about donor sperm. Question is about AI ... Thanks for your unnecessary opinion.

Welcome to dcum. You must be new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm getting a huge immature vibe. Maybe it's the emoticons. Or the euphemism for the word vagina. Or the desire to hide your child's genetic make up.

Your kid will find out. Eventually:
1. Someone will tell him since you are discussing it with the homeland.
2. A medical condition will reveal itself that makes accurate medical history a priority
3. Your kid will have a trait that is impossible coming from your husband

And then the child will feel betrayed and lied to for decades. Also the irresponsibility of keeping a huge part of his medical history a secret boggles my mind.

Fwiw, known sperm donor. Home insemination. Pos after first try.

same comment here

I don't think you read the question properly... I don't see anyone asking the opinion about what to tell to kid about donor sperm. Question is about AI ... Thanks for your unnecessary opinion.

NP. Agreed about all the emoticons. What is that about? But, more importantly, you can't separate AI from the tell/don't tell part. If you go through a clinic you'll likely have to meet with a counselor and that will be the first question, which will require a better response. Just FYI. Fwiw, I used donor sperm but did IVF after several IUI failures. Fairfax Cryobank has a poor reputation on the infertility forums (poor quality control, which is more important for IUI than IVF). California Cryobank and Xytex have better reputations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did IUIs Shady Grove, and were quite pleased. Dr. Osbourne was our main doctor. IUI. California Cryobank--all sperm banks have minimum standards for their sperm, so I don't think quality is usually an issue. Cost depends on ICI vs. IUI and whether a donor is willing to let the kid contact him when the kid is 18 (open or identity release donors). You can see baby pics of most of their donors. Your insurance will probably cover some of the costs.

ICI with frozen sperm takes an average of 12 months to conceive, so we went with IUI and DW got pregnant our 3rd month.

We're a lesbian couple, so it was basically a 0 sperm count issue for us. Shady Grove recommended some preliminary fertility testing for DW before she tried IUI, and the testing was pretty easy and covered by insurance. She said the IUI procedure really wasn't bad at all, and each one took less than 5 minutes.

Thank you for sharing and congrats on results

What about the cost, can you share that info, of course if you don't mind

I think the cost was about $600 per vial of IUI identity release sperm plus $150-200 for shipping (special liquid nitrogen cannister). Access to all info on donors cost us about $150? This was all about 3 years ago, so my memory is a little fuzzy. You can check their current prices online easily and browse donors. You and your husband should look into how you're going to handle telling your kid (it's very hard to keep this a secret forever, especially when kids study genetics in high school) and whether you want to do an identy relsease donor. The main reason we picked California Cryobank was that they had the largest selection of identity release donors, but if that's not important to you, there are a lot of other banks. Fairfax Cryobank is in this area, so you might be able to save on shipping costs.

I wonder what Shady Grove charged you. Donor info ( $ ) is available but IUI costs never are openly shown on the sites. Funny in Europe they can show all costs on the web site (with all possible scenarios but in USA they dont do that.

We mainly I decided we are going to go with anonym. donor. I personally do not want to share our story with anyone in the family. Nobody knows about this and we decided to keep it. If we were open to open identy donor, I would go to my friend(s) for fresh sperm. We have at least 2 friends who have an awesome personality and are dying to have kids . One of them is single and he lost his hopes that he will ever will meet his special one so he is really asking if we would use him at least he will have continuation of his family... the other friend's girl friend is not open him having a baby with us she already has a kid, but he does not and he wants to have a kid but she refuses to give birth ever again. Funny how life sometimes ironic those who want can't have those who don't want have (some or plenty)


OK looking forward for more info, hopefully from those who used other places/clinics. Congrats again!

PP here. If you've been discussing this with your friends someone will eventually slip up and tell your child, or your child will figure it out when they have a unit in biology about recessive/dominant traits and something doesn't quite line up between the child and dear old dad. The identity release donors don't have any role in the kid's life (unlike the what you're thinking about regarding your friends), the kid just has the option to contact him when they turn 18.

IUI costs will vary greatly depending on whether insurance will cover any of it.

The friends I have mentioned are oversees and they see me when I travel to my Homeland so technially we have a control if they will see the kid or not... So still stays as the secret

Plus we always can lie that it was a miracle...

So you have friends that are so great you would ask them for sperm? But now that you're using donor sperm, you'll keep them out of your kid's life to keep your lie in check?

Not sure why people always try to force their opinion to somebody's else life... it's not to you just general complaint to some folks over here.... Some folks are rude and call immature bluh bluh bluh… who cares…
Yes, my dear friend … our friend wants to donate sperm, but we are going with the donor sperm so we would not have to deal with dilemma later… We are not close with family by telling ‘all’ what is happening in our life and not planning to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
same comment here

I don't think you read the question properly... I don't see anyone asking the opinion about what to tell to kid about donor sperm. Question is about AI ... Thanks for your unnecessary opinion.

Welcome to dcum. You must be new.

Yes... I am really shock actually... some people are so arrogant here... I read some other articals where poor lady is asking for advice / review about the doctor and a person below comments that she is too old to have a kid... wow... I am shocked...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm getting a huge immature vibe. Maybe it's the emoticons. Or the euphemism for the word vagina. Or the desire to hide your child's genetic make up.

Fwiw, known sperm donor. Home insemination. Pos after first try.

same comment here

I don't think you read the question properly... I don't see anyone asking the opinion about what to tell to kid about donor sperm. Question is about AI ... Thanks for your unnecessary opinion.

NP. Agreed about all the emoticons. What is that about? But, more importantly, you can't separate AI from the tell/don't tell part. If you go through a clinic you'll likely have to meet with a counselor and that will be the first question, which will require a better response. Just FYI. Fwiw, I used donor sperm but did IVF after several IUI failures. Fairfax Cryobank has a poor reputation on the infertility forums (poor quality control, which is more important for IUI than IVF). California Cryobank and Xytex have better reputations.

Thank for advice as for emoticons ... what's wrong with that... I am happy person and like to express it ...

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,
I suggest you log off an anonymous Internet forum and make an appointment with one of the local clinics.

http://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/donor-options/using-donor-sperm.html

In the meantime, resolve will be a good source of unbiased opinion.

Your attitude about sharing your child's genetic identity will likely lead you to their genetic counselor. IME, it's indicative of those who have not fully come to term with their infertility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP,
I suggest you log off an anonymous Internet forum and make an appointment with one of the local clinics.

http://www.resolve.org/family-building-options/donor-options/using-donor-sperm.html

In the meantime, resolve will be a good source of unbiased opinion.

Your attitude about sharing your child's genetic identity will likely lead you to their genetic counselor. IME, it's indicative of those who have not fully come to term with their infertility.

Again this is not the answer to the original post. thanks for unnecessary opinion / advice