Leaving a Government job because of daycare expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you counting daycare against your salary alone and not your overall HHI??

It is the cost of the second income. If the income goes away the cost goes away, not half of it.

If both parents are working, the incremental cost of one quitting is that parent's income less daycare costs. If a parent is already at home and decides to go back to work, the additional take home would be the net income less daycare expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you able to telework? That might free up more time to see your kids (instead of commuting).

I too have a fed job and am thinking of giving it up. It's soooo inflexible. I MUST work 8:30-5 (get dinged if I come in at 8), can't telework and I just got told that I can't take Easter week off to visit family because ONE other person is off during that time. Just not family friendly at all.

This is my situation also. Many fed jobs are completely inflexible. OP, maybe you could go part time? The most important thing is what your spouse thinks, not what DCUM thinks.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you counting daycare against your salary alone and not your overall HHI??

do you always asks this same question?
it's easy. because if SHE quit, there would be no more daycare expense.
are you that glib?

[Anonymous]

OP here. I do appreciate the comments. I agree that I need to think long term. I haven't asked this question before as someone thought. I'm assuming other moms are dealing with the same issue and it may be a duplicate post. My kids are 8 month old twins and 3.

[Anonymous]

If you're borrowing from savings while netting 1k a month from your job, I see disaster if you quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're borrowing from savings while netting 1k a month from your job, I see disaster if you quit.

She's borrowing to pay the nanny. I did the same when my kids were little.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're borrowing from savings while netting 1k a month from your job, I see disaster if you quit.

If she's borrowing from savings, then she's LOSING money by paying the nanny/daycare. It makes sense for her to stay home. Especially with such young children.

I was in a similar boat: Work to pay the daycare with a little bit leftover, Work all day THEN have to do all the other stuff (cook dinner, bathe kids, etc.) at home. DH is a great helper, but has to travel 4 times a year and he's gone for a week each time. That means everything would fall on me during that time frame.

In addition, we live too close to school (2 miles) for bus service, but too far for DC to walk. So one of us had to drive and pick up DC to school (our schedules are NOT flexible, so pickup wouldn't be an option- that would mean after school care for older child. It just made better sense for me to stay home since DH made more than I did. Our house was paid off, so our only outstanding bills were for cars.

You need to weigh all the pros and cons. Unfortunately, women are still punished (in some areas) for having to stay home and take care of their children. I don't see how most people can afford NOT to have one parent stay home.

We decided that spending quality time with our children is more important than "stuff," although they have plenty of stuff- almost to the point of being spoiled. They are the only grandchildren on either side of the family, so they get plenty of "stuff" from relatives.

[Anonymous]

If she's borrowing from savings, then she's LOSING money by paying the nanny/daycare. It makes sense for her to stay home. Especially with such young children.

Or it might not. See all these posts about long time SAHMs trying to return to the workforce having to start over from the beginning. You might be paying to work in the short term, but it's possible that the increase in earning potential and retirement savings might be worth it in the long term. YMMV, but at the end of the day, full time daycare expenses last for a short time relative to the length of most careers.

[Anonymous]

Money is never the right way to make these decisions.

How much do you enjoy work? How much do you trust your husband? How much do you want to stay home with the kids?

If the answer is that you are in a very secure relationship, your husband supports the decision, you hate work, and really want to stay home, I would do that.

If your independence and financial security is important to you, I would suck up the cost of the nanny and keep working.

One thing to bear in mind: it isn't just about your take home. It is about your value and continuity in the workforce, the experience you are gaining, and not least, the pension contributions you are making.

[Anonymous]

Do not quit! It's rough now but it'll get better and then you'll be glad you stayed. Seriously. DO.NOT.QUIT.

[Anonymous]

The price of neglected children will far exceed the cost of living on one paycheck. OP is far wiser than most of us here. Kudos to her.

[Anonymous]

The price of neglected children will far exceed the cost of living on one paycheck. OP is far wiser than most of us here. Kudos to her.

I hardly think kids who have appropriate childcare count as neglected, but of course someone wants to start a mommy war.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The price of neglected children will far exceed the cost of living on one paycheck. OP is far wiser than most of us here. Kudos to her.

I hardly think kids who have appropriate childcare count as neglected, but of course someone wants to start a mommy war.

Appropriate? I don't suppose you'd care to clarify what you mean by that? A few diaper changes and some food?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you able to telework? That might free up more time to see your kids (instead of commuting).

I too have a fed job and am thinking of giving it up. It's soooo inflexible. I MUST work 8:30-5 (get dinged if I come in at 8), can't telework and I just got told that I can't take Easter week off to visit family because ONE other person is off during that time. Just not family friendly at all.

This is my situation also. Many fed jobs are completely inflexible. OP, maybe you could go part time? The most important thing is what your spouse thinks, not what DCUM thinks.

This is my situation, too. I honestly have my "dream job" -- doesn't pay a fortune, but pays quite well and has a lot of cool benefits, is intellectually challenging, etc. But the commute and the hours suck -- the forced "45 minute lunch break" is the worst part. I end up spending almost 9-hour days at work, plus over 2 hours total commuting each day... I'm just not sure how much longer I can keep it up, and am also considering becoming a SAHM. I know it's not the best long-term solution, but I'm just so exhausted and our household is so chaotic.