Results of 14 month old's evaluation - any feedback appreciated

[Anonymous]

OP -- what you are seeing sound like joint attention issues. It might be helpful to go onto Autism Speaks and watch the videos that show joint attention in a NT v ASD child. It helps to get a diagnosis right away. As you know, not pointing and not sharing are red flags. i am not saying there is an issue; I am just saying the joint attention issue is important, and a strong marker. That said -- my kid has been consistently behind, and has not qualified for services or extra concern. He is just "slow."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP, I don't have any specific advice but wanted to offer encouragement. My DS was the same age and had similar lack of communication/gestures several months ago. He also didn't have any words. We've been doing speech for 1 month and I'm already seeing improvement. Pointing, a couple signs, waving. He has started saying "mmmm" for more. I'm really happy with his progress.
Like you, I was doing a ton at home and honestly the professionals aren't doing anything different than what I do, BUT there is something about having this new exciting person demonstrating everything that really engages my son. EI has made a big impact.

So have hope! You're just getting started. And kudos to you for jumping on this early! I've had criticism from others that my son is too young and that I should "chill", but early intervention is the way to go. My son will hopefully have overcome his communication delays before his social development kicks in. I'm grateful we didn't wait.

Thank you - it really does give me a lot of hope reading about your son's strides with the EI services! I often feel like I'm not doing enough at home, simply because I don't know what to do that would be more effective. I am really hoping that the EI services will give me strategies that I can use to hopefully do a better job of helping my son to learn some of those skills.

I, too, am glad we are getting some help now rather than waiting. I may seem crazy to others, but I have known there are issues, and as DS's mom I feel like it's my job to do the best I can to help him - no matter what anyone else thinks.

Thank you again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you ever around other children your son's age? My son is 17 months and has global delays. We have been in EI since he was about 5 months (automatically qualified due to a long NICU stay after being full term) and are adding services as we go (currently receiving ST, OT, PT, vision, and hearing). However, when I am not around other kids, I tend to think he's doing really well and making all kinds of progress. Then I am around another child around his age and I see just how far he still has to go (which is super hard, but also helpful at the same time). It might be eye opening to be around other kids his age if you are not already.

While a diagnosis could be helpful, EI is definitely the first step in just addressing what he is having trouble with. I just called Children's in Rockville yesterday to make our first dev. ped. appointment. It is about a 3 month wait.

Totally off topic, just wondering who your ped is. The one we had been seeing was totally awesome and recently left the practice and we don't like either of the others. We moved to MOCO over the summer and are hesitant to go through the process of finding another pediatrician/paying for records again so soon so are staying put for now.

Ped first because that's the easy one to answer! We're with Complete Care for Kids in Germantown. Dr. Hemm was his regular Ped there and she was AMAZING, but she left the practice in December for another practice, in the Baltimore area I believe. We loved her so much that I seriously thought about trying to find out what her new practice is and switching to that one instead just so we could keep seeing her, but then realized that Baltimore is pretty far to go for sick appointments and the like. We've seen both of the other Peds at the practice in the months since Dr. Hemm left, and I just don't feel the same kind of connection at all. For DS's 12 month appointment it was very clear that the Ped we saw hadn't even really read his chart ahead of time. We had tons of issues with reflux, feeding and food intollerances in DS's first year, and saw Dr. Hemm at least 15 times in those first 11 months (and were referred to Ped GIs, for allergy testing, etc.), and I'm sure all of what was going on was documented in his file... but the Ped we saw for that well-child visit had no idea. I've been wondering too whether we should look for a new practice. I'm still mourning the fact that Dr. Hemm left!

Regarding other kids... We've spent some time around other kids his age in a few settings, but not consistently. When we do though, it's pretty similar to what you're describing in that I feel like he seems further behind them than I would expect. I remember being in the grocery store with him when he was 11 months old, and there was another woman with her daughter in the baby aisle, who said her daughter was also 11 months old. I said hello to the daughter, and when she smiled at me I said something about how many teeth she had... and the little girl pointed at her teeth. It took me by surprise and made me sad almost instantly - my son was nowhere close to being able to point at his teeth at 11 months, and still isn't doing anything like that 14 months. Another example: I took him to a Mommy and Me class once/week from 12-13.5 months, and though he was the youngest there by 2 months, he seemed more than 2 months behind the other kids. They would pick things up and turn them around and seem be examining how they go together or trying to pull them apart... while my son would just put them in his mouth. Similarly, we see DS's cousin who is 3.5 months older about once every other month, and other than in gross motor skills, DS doesn't seem to be doing the things that I recall his cousin doing a few months prior. I don't know if this will make sense... but when I see other kids around the same age, they just seem to be more aware than DS is. DS is very active and goes from one thing to the next to the next to the next, or turns his head from one direction to the other to look at different things when we're in a store, or grabs for this toy and then that toy and then another toy when he's playing. He seldom seems to stop and focus on any one thing; it's all just brief input and then he's on to the next thing, like he needs constant stimulation with new/different things. I don't know what that means, or if it means anything at all.

Anyway, I'm babbling. DS is also around other kids of similar ages at daycare (in-home), but I don't spend enough time there with him to see how he compares to the other kids that are kind of similar in age (there are two that are 3 months younger, and one about 4 months older). The biggest difference I note in the 10 minutes I'm there each day is maybe just the awareness thing. The other kids look at me and watch me when I'm there, smile at me when I smile at them or talk to them, and their attention stays primarily on me when I'm talking to the providers... whereas DS looks/smiles at me briefly, or looks and smiles at the caregivers and other adults briefly, and then immediately moves on to something else. I have a hard time getting him to even look at me when I'm trying to say goodbye to him.

Anyway, thank you for your feedback. It's really helpful.

SOOOOO crazy! This is PP and we were seeing Dr. Hemm, too! Love, love, loved her. We actually started with her after a recommendation from DCUM when we moved which had mentioned how involved she was with her patients. She was the best and had even given us her cell number when we were in the midst of a bad illness. Yes, I feel similarly that the other two are not as vested and have not taken the time to get to know or remember our issues. I feel like every time we've gone in since December I've had to re-explain everything. So frustrating! So you must live near Germantown, then? We probably don't live very far from each other. We're in Montgomery Village. I don't know if you'd ever be interested in getting together for a playdate and to talk through things.

Yes, I understand completely what you are saying about being aware. We had our older son's friend over today and his little sister came, too. She is just a month older than my little guy and so, so different. My son will also not go get an items that we mention, look at another person/object when we ask about them, touch his nose, etc. However, he does have hearing loss in one ear and we got a hearing aid a couple months ago... so I'm hoping that at least part of our issue with receptive/expressive language will be helped now that he can hear through both ears. Have you had your son's hearing checked?

Anyway, I'm not sure how we would set up to meet through this site, but I would definitely be interested in getting together if you are .

Dr. Hemm was amazing, and I am still so sad she left!! She called us on a Saturday evening one time to say “I’ve been thinking about your son, and I think we should try X.” She was just so attentive and involved. It’s nice to find someone who knew her too and had the same experience!

We are in Gaithersburg, so very nearby you, and I’d love to get together sometime! I’d love for DS to meet a playmate, and I think it would be really good for me to talk with someone who is going through similar things. I’m hesitant to post my email address here since it has my full name, but maybe you could text me and then I could send it to you? My phone number is three zero one – two five seven – zero seven nine four. If text won’t work, let me know and we’ll figure out something else.

Hearing: we haven’t had his hearing checked anytime recently, but he definitely responds to sounds and the evaluators today didn’t suggest that his hearing was something we should check into. Maybe I should mention it at his 15 month appt in a few weeks though? Or should I schedule an appt for a hearing check before then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused. How did he qualify in Gross Motor, if he's testing at 13 months, age 14 months? That's basically normal.

He qualified in fine motor, which was 9 or 10 months (can't remember which). I think they're just both grouped together under Physical development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP not to downplay your concerns, but my first son did not say a word until he was about 18-19 months, and thats when he started waving and pointing, nothing until then. He started walking at 15 months. At 18 months language just started pouring out of him, by the time he was 2 he was speaking in complex sentences. Same thing with walking, as soon as he figured out his first step he took off running.

Thank you, PP. I very, very much hope that the same could be true for my son. I would love nothing more than to be totally and completely wrong or grossly overly-concerned about his delays at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember feeling exactly the same when they told me my then 2.5 year old DD would be eligible for services.
Partially relieved, just as you were that my concerns were validated and I now had a professional team to turn to rather than the whirring, anxious thoughts and questions in my own head and Dr. Google. At the same time, my heart sank a bit and in a way I was surprised that they didn't just tell me I was overreacting or that her issues were within the normal range. Your DS is so young and it is fabulous that you are getting connected to services and professional guidance so early. Kudos to you - as hard as the "not knowing" is to live and deal with, you can take comfort that you are doing everything right, everything you can for your bit in getting the ball rolling and the help he needs. You are a good mama.
My DD is now 7 and has come so far - partially due to services, and partially due to maturity. But I know what you mean about "awareness" - other children could hear my words and if could see on their face that they were taking them in, or processing them. With my DD the words never seemed to penetrate, with the exception of very concrete, basic things. But she has grown by leaps and bounds, and your DS will too.

Thank you, PP, for both the understanding and the feedback. I am so appreciative that there are people here who "get it" in terms of the anxious thoughts, the conflicting feelings, and the desire to get things going to address issues.

I am glad to hear that both services and just maturing has helped your DD. I hope so much that the services and learning things that I can do at home with DS will help. What delays did your DD have at 2.5, and how does that translate (or not) into delays or diagnoses now at 7? Sorry if those questions aren't phrased properly... I'm just interested in hearing about the experience of someone who started with delays and what things looked like for them 5 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, could you describe how DS typically spends his days?

On weekdays DS is in daycare most of the day. His wakeup time is variable, but because I WAH with a pretty flexible schedule, I usually take him to daycare about 2 hours after whenever he wakes (unless he wakes REALLY early, like before 6am - in which case he is often cranky and still very tired, and so I put him down for a nap 2-3 hours after waking, do some work while he sleeps, then take him to daycare after he wakes). In the mornings he gets a bottle when he gets up, then we play and take a bath (sometimes first we play and then bathe, other times we bathe first and then play), then we have breakfast, and then get ready to leave for daycare. Our play in the mornings typically involves reading books, me trying to get him to play with the shape sorting toy, wandering around and pulling things off shelves in the master bedroom, etc. I talk to him pretty much constantly from the time he wakes until we get in the car to head to daycare. In the car I put on music and sing to him.

I know much less about what he does at daycare. I know they do circle time, and I know he interacts a lot with the older boy there (4 years old) and the boy's older sister when she's there for aftercare. I see him playing with the toy kitchen a lot these days when I pick him up, and he plays with those toys (not sure what they're called) that have the beads on the wires fixed to a wooden base. But mostly he seems to dart around, checking out everything in the room, much as he does at home. He does not nap most of the time at daycare (why I keep him home to nap in the mornings if he's gotten up especially early), or when he does it's just a 20-30 minute nap. All the other kids will be asleep and the place completely quiet, and he won't go down for a nap.

In the evenings, I pick him up and put on the radio and sing to him on the way home, or I just talk to him in the car. When we get home we usually play for about 30 minutes (reading books, me trying to get him interested in puzzles, him pulling everything off the bookcase, pulling spices out of the bin in the kitchen, pulling the Tupperware out of the cabinet, etc.), or longer if DH is already home (in which case DH might play with DS a little longer so that I can put some dinner together). Then we do dinner. If DH is home (60% of the time maybe?) we both sit at the table with DS in the highchair pulled up to the table, and we all eat together. If it’s just me, then I’m usually just feeding DS and not myself. After dinner we get ready for bed, and our bedtime routine is a bottle, then singing and rocking.

On the weekends the mornings and evenings look pretty much the same. After bathing and dressing I play with DS until he’s ready for a nap, which is usually about 3 or so hours after he gets up. He usually gets a bottle and/or a snack before his nap, and usually takes a 1-2 hour morning nap on the weekend these days. After his nap we (DH, DS and I) typically have lunch, and then we go out and do something for the afternoon. Usually grocery shopping, Target, errands or the like. I usually try to make it home for another nap about 3.5-4 hours after he woke from the first, but to be honest I don’t insist on it. DS will take a decent nap in the car if we’re out and about, and sometimes on a weekend day it seems to make sense to do that. Either way, he typically gets another 45 min – 1.5 hour nap in the afternoon (depending on the length of his morning nap and whether we’re home or out and about), and then we play some more (if home, or if we’ve taken him to one of the play spaces at the mall or something) and do dinner and the usual evening routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- what you are seeing sound like joint attention issues. It might be helpful to go onto Autism Speaks and watch the videos that show joint attention in a NT v ASD child. It helps to get a diagnosis right away. As you know, not pointing and not sharing are red flags. i am not saying there is an issue; I am just saying the joint attention issue is important, and a strong marker. That said -- my kid has been consistently behind, and has not qualified for services or extra concern. He is just "slow."

Thank you, PP. Autism is definitely something that has been on my mind, more and more lately, and is part of the reason I really want to make sure we see a developmental ped. I am concerned, but I am trying to keep my worries about it at bay a bit. Trying to take the right steps to get DS the help he needs for the delays, and put the pieces in place to have him evaluated further, but trying to keep from worrying too much or assuming too much yet about what the delays and some of the specific things I see might all mean. It's hard, and my mind goes there, but I'm trying. Thank you though for being the one to say this; again, it makes me feel like I'm not crazy for wondering and worrying (though I would love to just be overly-concerned about nothing!).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've mentioned in this forum my concerns about my 14 month old DS, and that I was having him evaluated through MoCo's Infants and Toddlers program. The second (more formal) part of the evaluation was today, after which we were given some feedback on his development in various areas. The evaluators did not leave a copy of the evaluaiont (I understood that it will be reviewed in detail before it a report is finalized), but my memory of the "scores" they mentioned is as follows:

Gross motor and Self-care - both 13 months
Receptive language/communication - I think this is the one that was 6 months
Expressive language/communication, Cognition, Fine motor, and Social development - all 9 or 10 months

So of the 5 potential areas in which he might eligible for Early Intervention Services (Cognitive development, Physical development, Speech and Language development, Psychosocial development and Self-help skills), he qualified in all but Self-help skills.

The only ones of these "scores" that really took me by surprise were the cognitive and the receptive language. We see DS figuring more and more things out on his own and problem-solving these past several weeks, and so I guess it was suprising to see that developmentally he's that far behind in cognition. But, the evaluators said that the cognition score is impacted a lot by the communication and fine motor issues (the fine motor delay was also a bit surprising, I guess), and that as those develop further the cognitive development follows along. And I guess that DH and I don't really know anyway what a 14 month old should be doing cognitively (DS is our first child). The other score that took me by surprise was the receptive language one, if I'm remembering correctly and that's indeed the one that was 6 months. I knew DS was very behind across the board in the area of communication, but it was a bit shocking to hear that in any area of development he is at only the 6 month level.

It was all a lot of information to take in today, and - not having some sort of report to refer back to just yet - I really can't recall all the details, and didn't ask the evaluators all the questions I wanted to ask, or even know what questions I might want to ask once I have some more time to think it all through. But, the impression I was left with from what they said and their responses to what I asked were that:

1) DS will have 1 weekly, ~1 hour long session with a single therapist who will address all of the areas in which he qualifies for services. These sessions will start in the next few weeks.
2) Any concerns we (DH and I, or DS's pediatrician) might have about autism or other specific developmental delay conditions/diagnoses should be addressed with his pediatrician. Infants and Toddlers will not do any of the specific diagnostic evaluations.
3) DS/his development/his progress will be re-assessed (I think only informally) in about 6 months, and in 1 year (I think more formally, to see whether he still qualifies for services).

So I guess that other than general feedback from anyone here with experience (which I would greatly, greatly appreciate - I would very much like to hear ANY and all thoughts you might have), my other questions really center around: what do I do from here? DS has his 15 month appointment with his Ped in a few weeks, and I will obviously discuss all of this with his Ped then. (However, I should mention that the Ped he had for the first ~11 months and who we LOVED and was very involved/attentive has now left the practice, and the other Peds we've seen at the practice since then don't really "know" my son the way his first Ped did.) But, given that I've read here that waiting times are very long for appointments with developmental pediatricians, should I go ahead and try to set up an appointment with one now for DS? If so, any specific recommendations? We are in MoCo, but our insurance covers us everywhere (assuming we'll have coverage for a developmental ped, which I need to check into obviously, but I know we don't need referrals for specialists), and so we can go anywhere in the DC region or anywhere outside the DC region, too. What else do I need or should I start looking into, to get my son the help that he needs? One weekly session to address all these different delays seems like it's not enough... but I don't really know what's typical, or how much progress he might make once DH and I are given some strategies to use with DS around the clock.

I may have further questions (I have a zillion questions, actually, but most aren't immediate or things that others could help with), but I would really, really appreciate any insight, thoughts, suggestions, comments, recommendations, etc. that anyone is able to offer. Thank you so much.

Hugs to you OP. I think I remember you talking about how you were setting up the eval and were concerned about autism/delays. The good news is that you are going to be getting help for these areas that your DS qualified in. And believe it or not, 14 months is on the younger side for many of the kids that do get evaluated, so you are definitely starting early which is great. Infants and Toddlers will give an MCHAT at around 18 months http://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autism/diagnosis/screen-your-child (And remind them if they don't do it). And if your child fails the MCHAT then they will counsel you further about getting a diagnosis of Autism. And they have psychologist that they contract with that they can have evaluate your DS and is free through MCITP. I wouldn't focus on the diagnosis right now to be honest. The treatment would be similar at this age - working on decreasing the gaps in skills, increasing language, joint attention, etc. And you can always supplement with private therapy if you want but you may want to wait a few weeks to see how DS responds to therapy. Sometimes it can take a few weeks or even a month or three to see progress. The focus of Infants and Toddlers is family coaching so they will be teaching how to address your son's needs since you and your husband are the ones that pend the most time with him. Because of the parent coaching model, one session weekly is typical and services get added on as needed. Usually a special education teacher can address global delays. At a slightly later point - if your child does fail the MCHAT then you could look into classroom based services and ABA services. Infants and Toddlers also contracts through CSSAC (aba programs) and does have some classroom and community based programs that are for older kids (around 2). I believe Infants and Toddlers left some summary sheets for you. You can always call in the meantime to ask any questions you might have. They will bring you the report/summary of the scores on the first visit. Also, as someone mentioned, this is just a snapshot of one day in the life of your DS. There may have been stuff your son could do but just wasn't "performing" on that day. And even 1 point could make a month of so difference on the scores - which sometimes causes kids to look a little lower than they actually are.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would recommend a full audiological exam as soon as possible to rule out any hearing problems and not just what a pediatrician's office might offer. This will rule out any hearing loss in any frequency which is key to being sure what you are saying is being heard.

I know this is your first child so in a way any Early Intervention therapist is better than none, but it is perfectly OK to ask what one's education and experience is because you are being asked to have one person cover all the domains with your child. If the teacher is a sweet young thing with no personal experience with children and right out of a college program, then I would not be nearly as confident as getting someone who might be a parent and/or much more experienced. If speech also seems to be the deficit area, consider more specialized therapy in that area as a primary objective in terms of what is needed and what you can afford.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you PPs for the recommendation to get on Dr. Shapiro's waitlist. I will do that right away.

13:18, the specific concerns that led me to seek the evaluation with Infants and Toddlers were DS's issues in the area of communication. Expressive (verbal and gestures) and receptive communication both seemed to me to be delayed. At a little over 14 months now, he still does not point at things, does not shake his head no, does not wave goodbye (he has done so only a few times with a lot of prompting, but I prompt and example every day). His only real gesture, as far as I can tell, is reaching for things. In terms of verbal communication, his only words are dada and mama, and they are still often directed at things other than DH and me; though he babbles a lot, with intonation, and he will imitate some sounds we make. He has very little receptive language. He understands "no", he knows his name, and he seems to respond to the specific way that I refer to our cats; but he does not have any response to words we use multiple times per day, like book, bottle, bath, etc. He does not look at the door when you say "bye-bye" to him. He does not look for DH when I say something about "dada". He does seem to respond to a few commands if I use gestures with them ("sit down" and "close the lid" are the two that I can think of), but he does not have any response at all when I say something like "bring the book".

I've had some concerns about other things too - one being that he will share in experiences with us if we initiate them, but HE doesn't initiate sharing an experience with us (doesn't bring us things or hand us things or try to show us things). These things also seem like communication issues to me in a way, but maybe they're more social issues or something else; I don't really know. There are other things too (things he doesn't do that it seems he should, like trying to stack cups or big blocks, sort shapes, put things in a container - he doesn't do any of those, doesn't seem to have any interest in trying, even when I try to show him), but all the various aspects of communication have been what have stood out to me the most.

I think we crossed paths before on the ASD thread. I'm the OP of a very similar post - I had a lot of the same concerns for DS at 15 months, so my response is colored by my experience, because he was recently diagnosed. Based on what you said above, I would arrange for an ASD evaluation; the wait lists are long, and you can always cancel it if he catches up in the meantime. Please note I'm NOT saying your son has ASD (there's no way for me to know that.)
A psychologist specializing in ASD told me the difference between language delay and ASD delays is that a language-delayed NT child usually overcompensates by using gestures/ non-verbal communication (DS didn't). Does your son play with toys the way there were intended, or does he mainly focus on parts, or the sensory aspects of a toy (i.e.: mouthing, spinning, wobbling, dropping it or other repetitive actions?) This for us was a big indicator. I second the PP who recommended the autismspeaks videos - it surprised me how similar some of the playing behavior was to DS's.
I'm sorry you are going through this. Wish you the best!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you ever around other children your son's age? My son is 17 months and has global delays. We have been in EI since he was about 5 months (automatically qualified due to a long NICU stay after being full term) and are adding services as we go (currently receiving ST, OT, PT, vision, and hearing). However, when I am not around other kids, I tend to think he's doing really well and making all kinds of progress. Then I am around another child around his age and I see just how far he still has to go (which is super hard, but also helpful at the same time). It might be eye opening to be around other kids his age if you are not already.

While a diagnosis could be helpful, EI is definitely the first step in just addressing what he is having trouble with. I just called Children's in Rockville yesterday to make our first dev. ped. appointment. It is about a 3 month wait.

Totally off topic, just wondering who your ped is. The one we had been seeing was totally awesome and recently left the practice and we don't like either of the others. We moved to MOCO over the summer and are hesitant to go through the process of finding another pediatrician/paying for records again so soon so are staying put for now.

Ped first because that's the easy one to answer! We're with Complete Care for Kids in Germantown. Dr. Hemm was his regular Ped there and she was AMAZING, but she left the practice in December for another practice, in the Baltimore area I believe. We loved her so much that I seriously thought about trying to find out what her new practice is and switching to that one instead just so we could keep seeing her, but then realized that Baltimore is pretty far to go for sick appointments and the like. We've seen both of the other Peds at the practice in the months since Dr. Hemm left, and I just don't feel the same kind of connection at all. For DS's 12 month appointment it was very clear that the Ped we saw hadn't even really read his chart ahead of time. We had tons of issues with reflux, feeding and food intollerances in DS's first year, and saw Dr. Hemm at least 15 times in those first 11 months (and were referred to Ped GIs, for allergy testing, etc.), and I'm sure all of what was going on was documented in his file... but the Ped we saw for that well-child visit had no idea. I've been wondering too whether we should look for a new practice. I'm still mourning the fact that Dr. Hemm left!

Regarding other kids... We've spent some time around other kids his age in a few settings, but not consistently. When we do though, it's pretty similar to what you're describing in that I feel like he seems further behind them than I would expect. I remember being in the grocery store with him when he was 11 months old, and there was another woman with her daughter in the baby aisle, who said her daughter was also 11 months old. I said hello to the daughter, and when she smiled at me I said something about how many teeth she had... and the little girl pointed at her teeth. It took me by surprise and made me sad almost instantly - my son was nowhere close to being able to point at his teeth at 11 months, and still isn't doing anything like that 14 months. Another example: I took him to a Mommy and Me class once/week from 12-13.5 months, and though he was the youngest there by 2 months, he seemed more than 2 months behind the other kids. They would pick things up and turn them around and seem be examining how they go together or trying to pull them apart... while my son would just put them in his mouth. Similarly, we see DS's cousin who is 3.5 months older about once every other month, and other than in gross motor skills, DS doesn't seem to be doing the things that I recall his cousin doing a few months prior. I don't know if this will make sense... but when I see other kids around the same age, they just seem to be more aware than DS is. DS is very active and goes from one thing to the next to the next to the next, or turns his head from one direction to the other to look at different things when we're in a store, or grabs for this toy and then that toy and then another toy when he's playing. He seldom seems to stop and focus on any one thing; it's all just brief input and then he's on to the next thing, like he needs constant stimulation with new/different things. I don't know what that means, or if it means anything at all.

Anyway, I'm babbling. DS is also around other kids of similar ages at daycare (in-home), but I don't spend enough time there with him to see how he compares to the other kids that are kind of similar in age (there are two that are 3 months younger, and one about 4 months older). The biggest difference I note in the 10 minutes I'm there each day is maybe just the awareness thing. The other kids look at me and watch me when I'm there, smile at me when I smile at them or talk to them, and their attention stays primarily on me when I'm talking to the providers... whereas DS looks/smiles at me briefly, or looks and smiles at the caregivers and other adults briefly, and then immediately moves on to something else. I have a hard time getting him to even look at me when I'm trying to say goodbye to him.

Anyway, thank you for your feedback. It's really helpful.

SOOOOO crazy! This is PP and we were seeing Dr. Hemm, too! Love, love, loved her. We actually started with her after a recommendation from DCUM when we moved which had mentioned how involved she was with her patients. She was the best and had even given us her cell number when we were in the midst of a bad illness. Yes, I feel similarly that the other two are not as vested and have not taken the time to get to know or remember our issues. I feel like every time we've gone in since December I've had to re-explain everything. So frustrating! So you must live near Germantown, then? We probably don't live very far from each other. We're in Montgomery Village. I don't know if you'd ever be interested in getting together for a playdate and to talk through things.

Yes, I understand completely what you are saying about being aware. We had our older son's friend over today and his little sister came, too. She is just a month older than my little guy and so, so different. My son will also not go get an items that we mention, look at another person/object when we ask about them, touch his nose, etc. However, he does have hearing loss in one ear and we got a hearing aid a couple months ago... so I'm hoping that at least part of our issue with receptive/expressive language will be helped now that he can hear through both ears. Have you had your son's hearing checked?

Anyway, I'm not sure how we would set up to meet through this site, but I would definitely be interested in getting together if you are .

Dr. Hemm was amazing, and I am still so sad she left!! She called us on a Saturday evening one time to say “I’ve been thinking about your son, and I think we should try X.” She was just so attentive and involved. It’s nice to find someone who knew her too and had the same experience!

We are in Gaithersburg, so very nearby you, and I’d love to get together sometime! I’d love for DS to meet a playmate, and I think it would be really good for me to talk with someone who is going through similar things. I’m hesitant to post my email address here since it has my full name, but maybe you could text me and then I could send it to you? My phone number is three zero one – two five seven – zero seven nine four. If text won’t work, let me know and we’ll figure out something else.

Hearing: we haven’t had his hearing checked anytime recently, but he definitely responds to sounds and the evaluators today didn’t suggest that his hearing was something we should check into. Maybe I should mention it at his 15 month appt in a few weeks though? Or should I schedule an appt for a hearing check before then?

Just texted you . With the receptive language concerns, I would definitely have an audiologist do a hearing test. We love the ones at Childrens Fairfax. It couldn't hurt and if his hearing is fine, it would at least rule that out as an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -- what you are seeing sound like joint attention issues. It might be helpful to go onto Autism Speaks and watch the videos that show joint attention in a NT v ASD child. It helps to get a diagnosis right away. As you know, not pointing and not sharing are red flags. i am not saying there is an issue; I am just saying the joint attention issue is important, and a strong marker. That said -- my kid has been consistently behind, and has not qualified for services or extra concern. He is just "slow."

Thank you, PP. Autism is definitely something that has been on my mind, more and more lately, and is part of the reason I really want to make sure we see a developmental ped. I am concerned, but I am trying to keep my worries about it at bay a bit. Trying to take the right steps to get DS the help he needs for the delays, and put the pieces in place to have him evaluated further, but trying to keep from worrying too much or assuming too much yet about what the delays and some of the specific things I see might all mean. It's hard, and my mind goes there, but I'm trying. Thank you though for being the one to say this; again, it makes me feel like I'm not crazy for wondering and worrying (though I would love to just be overly-concerned about nothing!).

You are one smart, cookie, OP. I think getting him evaluated further is better than stressing over Internet videos.

Also, check out the Hanen book, "It takes two to talk." You can get it on Amazon. It helps read the communication cues your kid might be giving. Also ask EI if they will be holding the Hanen class for parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you ever around other children your son's age? My son is 17 months and has global delays. We have been in EI since he was about 5 months (automatically qualified due to a long NICU stay after being full term) and are adding services as we go (currently receiving ST, OT, PT, vision, and hearing). However, when I am not around other kids, I tend to think he's doing really well and making all kinds of progress. Then I am around another child around his age and I see just how far he still has to go (which is super hard, but also helpful at the same time). It might be eye opening to be around other kids his age if you are not already.

While a diagnosis could be helpful, EI is definitely the first step in just addressing what he is having trouble with. I just called Children's in Rockville yesterday to make our first dev. ped. appointment. It is about a 3 month wait.

Totally off topic, just wondering who your ped is. The one we had been seeing was totally awesome and recently left the practice and we don't like either of the others. We moved to MOCO over the summer and are hesitant to go through the process of finding another pediatrician/paying for records again so soon so are staying put for now.

Ped first because that's the easy one to answer! We're with Complete Care for Kids in Germantown. Dr. Hemm was his regular Ped there and she was AMAZING, but she left the practice in December for another practice, in the Baltimore area I believe. We loved her so much that I seriously thought about trying to find out what her new practice is and switching to that one instead just so we could keep seeing her, but then realized that Baltimore is pretty far to go for sick appointments and the like. We've seen both of the other Peds at the practice in the months since Dr. Hemm left, and I just don't feel the same kind of connection at all. For DS's 12 month appointment it was very clear that the Ped we saw hadn't even really read his chart ahead of time. We had tons of issues with reflux, feeding and food intollerances in DS's first year, and saw Dr. Hemm at least 15 times in those first 11 months (and were referred to Ped GIs, for allergy testing, etc.), and I'm sure all of what was going on was documented in his file... but the Ped we saw for that well-child visit had no idea. I've been wondering too whether we should look for a new practice. I'm still mourning the fact that Dr. Hemm left!

Regarding other kids... We've spent some time around other kids his age in a few settings, but not consistently. When we do though, it's pretty similar to what you're describing in that I feel like he seems further behind them than I would expect. I remember being in the grocery store with him when he was 11 months old, and there was another woman with her daughter in the baby aisle, who said her daughter was also 11 months old. I said hello to the daughter, and when she smiled at me I said something about how many teeth she had... and the little girl pointed at her teeth. It took me by surprise and made me sad almost instantly - my son was nowhere close to being able to point at his teeth at 11 months, and still isn't doing anything like that 14 months. Another example: I took him to a Mommy and Me class once/week from 12-13.5 months, and though he was the youngest there by 2 months, he seemed more than 2 months behind the other kids. They would pick things up and turn them around and seem be examining how they go together or trying to pull them apart... while my son would just put them in his mouth. Similarly, we see DS's cousin who is 3.5 months older about once every other month, and other than in gross motor skills, DS doesn't seem to be doing the things that I recall his cousin doing a few months prior. I don't know if this will make sense... but when I see other kids around the same age, they just seem to be more aware than DS is. DS is very active and goes from one thing to the next to the next to the next, or turns his head from one direction to the other to look at different things when we're in a store, or grabs for this toy and then that toy and then another toy when he's playing. He seldom seems to stop and focus on any one thing; it's all just brief input and then he's on to the next thing, like he needs constant stimulation with new/different things. I don't know what that means, or if it means anything at all.

Anyway, I'm babbling. DS is also around other kids of similar ages at daycare (in-home), but I don't spend enough time there with him to see how he compares to the other kids that are kind of similar in age (there are two that are 3 months younger, and one about 4 months older). The biggest difference I note in the 10 minutes I'm there each day is maybe just the awareness thing. The other kids look at me and watch me when I'm there, smile at me when I smile at them or talk to them, and their attention stays primarily on me when I'm talking to the providers... whereas DS looks/smiles at me briefly, or looks and smiles at the caregivers and other adults briefly, and then immediately moves on to something else. I have a hard time getting him to even look at me when I'm trying to say goodbye to him.

Anyway, thank you for your feedback. It's really helpful.

SOOOOO crazy! This is PP and we were seeing Dr. Hemm, too! Love, love, loved her. We actually started with her after a recommendation from DCUM when we moved which had mentioned how involved she was with her patients. She was the best and had even given us her cell number when we were in the midst of a bad illness. Yes, I feel similarly that the other two are not as vested and have not taken the time to get to know or remember our issues. I feel like every time we've gone in since December I've had to re-explain everything. So frustrating! So you must live near Germantown, then? We probably don't live very far from each other. We're in Montgomery Village. I don't know if you'd ever be interested in getting together for a playdate and to talk through things.

Yes, I understand completely what you are saying about being aware. We had our older son's friend over today and his little sister came, too. She is just a month older than my little guy and so, so different. My son will also not go get an items that we mention, look at another person/object when we ask about them, touch his nose, etc. However, he does have hearing loss in one ear and we got a hearing aid a couple months ago... so I'm hoping that at least part of our issue with receptive/expressive language will be helped now that he can hear through both ears. Have you had your son's hearing checked?

Anyway, I'm not sure how we would set up to meet through this site, but I would definitely be interested in getting together if you are .

Dr. Hemm was amazing, and I am still so sad she left!! She called us on a Saturday evening one time to say “I’ve been thinking about your son, and I think we should try X.” She was just so attentive and involved. It’s nice to find someone who knew her too and had the same experience!

We are in Gaithersburg, so very nearby you, and I’d love to get together sometime! I’d love for DS to meet a playmate, and I think it would be really good for me to talk with someone who is going through similar things. I’m hesitant to post my email address here since it has my full name, but maybe you could text me and then I could send it to you? My phone number is three zero one – two five seven – zero seven nine four. If text won’t work, let me know and we’ll figure out something else.

Hearing: we haven’t had his hearing checked anytime recently, but he definitely responds to sounds and the evaluators today didn’t suggest that his hearing was something we should check into. Maybe I should mention it at his 15 month appt in a few weeks though? Or should I schedule an appt for a hearing check before then?

Just texted you . With the receptive language concerns, I would definitely have an audiologist do a hearing test. We love the ones at Childrens Fairfax. It couldn't hurt and if his hearing is fine, it would at least rule that out as an issue.

I know you said it appears that your DS is hearing things okay and responds to sounds. Just wanted to add that our DS also was very responsive to sounds. He has a cleft palate so automatically was scheduled to have hearing tests every 6 months and that is when we discovered that he could not hear out of one ear. So, I think it is possible to miss it. The 2 ladies at Childrens that we see are so great and a hearing test is pretty quick and easy. We would go to the Rockville location, but for some reason the audiologist there doesn't take our insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember feeling exactly the same when they told me my then 2.5 year old DD would be eligible for services.
Partially relieved, just as you were that my concerns were validated and I now had a professional team to turn to rather than the whirring, anxious thoughts and questions in my own head and Dr. Google. At the same time, my heart sank a bit and in a way I was surprised that they didn't just tell me I was overreacting or that her issues were within the normal range. Your DS is so young and it is fabulous that you are getting connected to services and professional guidance so early. Kudos to you - as hard as the "not knowing" is to live and deal with, you can take comfort that you are doing everything right, everything you can for your bit in getting the ball rolling and the help he needs. You are a good mama.
My DD is now 7 and has come so far - partially due to services, and partially due to maturity. But I know what you mean about "awareness" - other children could hear my words and if could see on their face that they were taking them in, or processing them. With my DD the words never seemed to penetrate, with the exception of very concrete, basic things. But she has grown by leaps and bounds, and your DS will too.

Thank you, PP, for both the understanding and the feedback. I am so appreciative that there are people here who "get it" in terms of the anxious thoughts, the conflicting feelings, and the desire to get things going to address issues.

I am glad to hear that both services and just maturing has helped your DD. I hope so much that the services and learning things that I can do at home with DS will help. What delays did your DD have at 2.5, and how does that translate (or not) into delays or diagnoses now at 7? Sorry if those questions aren't phrased properly... I'm just interested in hearing about the experience of someone who started with delays and what things looked like for them 5 years later.

Her expressive language was okay (though very basic and nowhere near girls in her class) but she didn't seem to be understanding what others would say to her, unless it was very simple and concrete. To learn something new she needed one-on-one instruction with lots of examples and visual cues, and so many things that other kids just kind of learned intuitively really needed to be spelled out for her. It took a long time for her conversational speech to flow and she seemed a lot more babyish than her peers. She had some difficulty connecting socially but we realized this was primarily rooted in her slow language processing because as her expressive and receptive speech improved, so did her ability to make and have friends. Today she is in first grade with an IEP in a mainstream class and with the supports in place (visual cues, sitting near teacher, extra time to complete tasks, etc) she has been able to keep up with the curriculum and is doing very well.
Back in the beginning if the process I could not imagine how she would learn to read, or how to do math problems, etc because it was do hard for her to process new and novel information and anything abstract, but I have learned that what seems difficult for her one year is often very manageable and even easy for her the next. So even if your son does have delays, it doesn't mean he won't outgrow them or do overcome them with the proper support.