academic stress in college?

[Anonymous]

Could also depend on her major. Some majors are horrible and work you into the ground.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's going to be stressed and high achieving no matter where she goes. She should just aim for the top. Don't encourage her to go to a less prestigious school under the misguided notion it will make her less stressed. At this point, her drive is internalized. Might as well get the ivy on her resume.

I think this is terrible advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking for some advice here . . . DD is a junior at a local magnet high school and has done very well academically (A's and A minus's, 2300+ SAT, etc). However, she has not been able to enjoy high school because she is a perfectionist and gets very stressed by the workload and the fact that she is around many kids who are willing to work, work, work to the exclusion of all else (since she feels compelled to keep up with them). I am hoping that she will have a more balanced life when she gets to college, but it is very hard to tell from the outside which of the top-tier colleges have a lot of stressed kids/unreasonable workloads and which might allow for more balance. (I'm not saying she has to go to an Ivy-level college, but she would want it to be somewhat academically rigorous.) Does anyone have any personal experience to share in terms of which schools are known to be full of stressed kids, or which are known to promote balance? Thanks.

I have a child like this. Since you already know your daughter will work hard wherever she is, focus on finding a school with a good quality of life, one where the ratios are low and students are happy. My child loved Emory in Atlanta for these reasons. Great academics and country club like setting. Kids seemed very happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A weirdly high number of kids have committed suicide at William & Mary, supposedly because of the stress.

http://www.wydailyarchives.com/local-news/5232-surge-in-deaths-leaves-william-and-mary-battling-suicide-school-reputation.html

I would be interested in knowing where the most recent three suicides hail from.

[Anonymous]

Mount Holyoke
Rigorous but without intent to crush you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach in a college. Basically the high achievers tell me high school stress was nothing compared to college stress. Half of them take Adderall to stay awake, Xanax to keep form panicking and drink alcohol to 'relax'.

They are just as perfectionistic in high school but with even higher stakes - the job market looming. they are trying to do as much service and extra curriculars as they can while also working and playing a sport.

As often the high achievers are in programs where you basically had to be a high achiever to even get accepted to the program, the competitiveness is fierce.

It is also the age when mental illness and mental health problems explode and depression is rampant in this age group - partly due to poor self care that wears them down (no sleep, poor nutrition, too much drinking). Then they start to feel suicidal or like quitting but they can't because there is too much internal pressure and sense of external reputation to hold up. Anxiety is rampant especially around exams and project times.

Agree with the above. I've been surprised at the number of students I have each year who are very smart, very well-prepared, and have serious stress related issues that really impede academic success. Since you know that your daughter is predisposed to stress, I would really encourage you to find her some formal stress management program/therapy before she goes to school.

I also agree. Not every high achieving kid will be best served by the highest-stress college to which they can gain admittance. I work in college mental health. I've seen this first-hand. It really depends on your child. My advice is to open their mind to various options and help them figure out the best "fit" in a college where they will thrive, not just strive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A weirdly high number of kids have committed suicide at William & Mary, supposedly because of the stress.

http://www.wydailyarchives.com/local-news/5232-surge-in-deaths-leaves-william-and-mary-battling-suicide-school-reputation.html

I would be interested in knowing where the most recent three suicides hail from.

Whitney Mayer was from Plano, Texas.

Ian Smith-Christmas was from Stafford, Virginia.

Dominique Chandler was from Portsmouth, Virginia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A weirdly high number of kids have committed suicide at William & Mary, supposedly because of the stress.

http://www.wydailyarchives.com/local-news/5232-surge-in-deaths-leaves-william-and-mary-battling-suicide-school-reputation.html

I would be interested in knowing where the most recent three suicides hail from.

Whitney Mayer was from Plano, Texas.

Ian Smith-Christmas was from Stafford, Virginia.

Dominique Chandler was from Portsmouth, Virginia.

That article's 4 years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach in a college. Basically the high achievers tell me high school stress was nothing compared to college stress. Half of them take Adderall to stay awake, Xanax to keep form panicking and drink alcohol to 'relax'.

They are just as perfectionistic in high school but with even higher stakes - the job market looming. they are trying to do as much service and extra curriculars as they can while also working and playing a sport.

As often the high achievers are in programs where you basically had to be a high achiever to even get accepted to the program, the competitiveness is fierce.

It is also the age when mental illness and mental health problems explode and depression is rampant in this age group - partly due to poor self care that wears them down (no sleep, poor nutrition, too much drinking). Then they start to feel suicidal or like quitting but they can't because there is too much internal pressure and sense of external reputation to hold up. Anxiety is rampant especially around exams and project times.

Agree with the above. I've been surprised at the number of students I have each year who are very smart, very well-prepared, and have serious stress related issues that really impede academic success. Since you know that your daughter is predisposed to stress, I would really encourage you to find her some formal stress management program/therapy before she goes to school.

Eh. I went to a top fifteen SLAC and my boyfriend went to an Ivy and we worked way harder and more intensely at my SLAC than he and his friends did at his Ivy. And I didn't feel they were any smarter than the kids at my school.

Go to the top school and then you don't have to stress as much because a) most of the ivies still have grade inflation up the wazoo and b) it's easier to get into grad school with a 3.5 from Yale than a 3.5 from a lower ranked school.

[Anonymous]

I wonder what Stanford's vibe is like? Less stressed since it's on the west coast?

[Anonymous]

What about a school like UVA? That strikes me as a school where people are incredibly smart, yet not all gunners and cut throat.

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, makes me scared to send my kids to college. The pressure that kids are under these days is crazy. It's so unhealthy! I can't imagine any amount of academic success is worth stimulant abuse - awful. I hope it's better at small liberal arts colleges away from the East Coast. But not Stanford - it's full of geniuses, but just less preppy.

I went to an Ivy, where I was average. Then did summer school for some of my premed classes at a large (but good) state school - I broke the curve. So I don't know about grade inflation; top Ivy League schools are filled with smart people who work really hard; they probably have a bunch of people who all deserve A's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the Fiske Guide to Colleges give a good sense of the competitive atmosphere at different colleges, so I would recommend giving that a close read.

This is a gross generalization, but kids at east coast schools tend to be more overtly competitive than those at schools in the south and midwest. For example, some rigorous schools that are considered more friendly/non-competitive are Carleton, Kenyon, Macalester, Rice. Also, women's colleges (Wellesley, Bryn Mawr) are often much more cooperative than cutthroat.

Totally agree. Good call.

[Anonymous]

I wonder what Stanford's vibe is like? Less stressed since it's on the west coast?

Lolololol. I think people on the east coast's impressions of the west coast are funny. The bay area is an intense place, and Stanford kids are as intense as Harvard kids (it's pretty much the same applicant pool).

I think that a lot of people who are inclined to be perfectionistic and stress themselves out would do that regardless of where they are. I would focus more on finding a school where your daughter feels like the vibe is a good match for her socially, academically, and on gut intuition over this other stuff about stress. She'll figure out her own sort of balance.

Each new stage of life can be full of pressure and stress, and the pressures and stress are just different. I went to a competitive high school, and was well prepared for college, but college was still extremely challenging for me. I was well prepared for graduate school, but that was its own kind of challenge. As you get older, you have more and more responsibilities and more to balance.

[Anonymous]

Friends who taught at both east coast and Midwest colleges found Midwest kids had a better work ethic with a less entitled personal outlook . Wonder if this will change now that Carleton,Mac , Kenyon are filling up with easy coast competitive types.