How can some people never get caught cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's really pathological are the cheaters who: 1) justify it as necessary to keep the marriage intact; 2) wouldn't tolerate it in their spouses; and 3) hang on to non-cheating spouses in an almost parent-rebellion dynamic. Mainly guys, but quite a few women too: they who need the security of a loyal spouse whom they cheat on with others. They seem equally matched by really neurotic types who sleep with them to affirm their "sexiness."

The real losers in this dynamic are children of the marriage. Divorce in such situations is pointless because cheaters will almost always cheat again, ultimately leaving another kid/s abandoned when they divorce gain. IMHO, many people are just too immature to marry.

Agree with your 1, 2 and 3. I don't like hypocrites who think it's okay for them to step out but not the partner.

[Anonymous]

I don't go through my husbands phone or emails. In the case of his work email, it can only be accessed through a password protected Blackberry or laptop, so I couldn't check it even if I wanted to. And speaking of the blackberry, that's through work so I don't have access to the phone records for it. Sometimes he travels. In theory, if he wanted to, he probably could cheat and it would take me a long time to find out. Even if I were suspicious, if he conducted it all through the work accounts, it would be damn hard for me to find proof.

I do think I would get a spidey sense that something wasn't right if he DID cheat or was having a side relationship. But the proof would be hard to come by to validate that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't go through my husbands phone or emails. In the case of his work email, it can only be accessed through a password protected Blackberry or laptop, so I couldn't check it even if I wanted to. And speaking of the blackberry, that's through work so I don't have access to the phone records for it. Sometimes he travels. In theory, if he wanted to, he probably could cheat and it would take me a long time to find out. Even if I were suspicious, if he conducted it all through the work accounts, it would be damn hard for me to find proof.

I do think I would get a spidey sense that something wasn't right if he DID cheat or was having a side relationship. But the proof would be hard to come by to validate that.

No you can always buy a GPS trackign system and insert it in his car, so you can see where he goes. Of course he might have a business car, phone etc in this case you can buy him a present that is actually a hidden camera ( very easy to use) if you are not comfortable in using these spy tools ( they are VERY usefull) you can always tell by paying attention to his sex drive. If he is not asking then you have your answer right there! although he can have hard times at work. But no he would NOT get away with it for a long time if you would get that sense you say you would get you would only need to TRY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't go through my husbands phone or emails. In the case of his work email, it can only be accessed through a password protected Blackberry or laptop, so I couldn't check it even if I wanted to. And speaking of the blackberry, that's through work so I don't have access to the phone records for it. Sometimes he travels. In theory, if he wanted to, he probably could cheat and it would take me a long time to find out. Even if I were suspicious, if he conducted it all through the work accounts, it would be damn hard for me to find proof.

I do think I would get a spidey sense that something wasn't right if he DID cheat or was having a side relationship. But the proof would be hard to come by to validate that.

No you can always buy a GPS trackign system and insert it in his car, so you can see where he goes. Of course he might have a business car, phone etc in this case you can buy him a present that is actually a hidden camera ( very easy to use) if you are not comfortable in using these spy tools ( they are VERY usefull) you can always tell by paying attention to his sex drive. If he is not asking then you have your answer right there! although he can have hard times at work. But no he would NOT get away with it for a long time if you would get that sense you say you would get you would only need to TRY.

I think if you were going to that level to catch him cheating, the marriage is already over.

[Anonymous]

I would not know. My husband works in computer security so he could easily hide any emails. His phone is password protected and I don't have the password. I guess I would notice if he were texting all the time though. He could easily be gmail chatting or something on his laptop and I would have no idea. My husband travels and could have affairs, I guess.

I would only suspect something if his behavior changed towards me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't go through my husbands phone or emails. In the case of his work email, it can only be accessed through a password protected Blackberry or laptop, so I couldn't check it even if I wanted to. And speaking of the blackberry, that's through work so I don't have access to the phone records for it. Sometimes he travels. In theory, if he wanted to, he probably could cheat and it would take me a long time to find out. Even if I were suspicious, if he conducted it all through the work accounts, it would be damn hard for me to find proof.

I do think I would get a spidey sense that something wasn't right if he DID cheat or was having a side relationship. But the proof would be hard to come by to validate that.

No you can always buy a GPS trackign system and insert it in his car, so you can see where he goes. Of course he might have a business car, phone etc in this case you can buy him a present that is actually a hidden camera ( very easy to use) if you are not comfortable in using these spy tools ( they are VERY usefull) you can always tell by paying attention to his sex drive. If he is not asking then you have your answer right there! although he can have hard times at work. But no he would NOT get away with it for a long time if you would get that sense you say you would get you would only need to TRY.

A hidden camera as a present? Been to see the Veronica Mars recently?

[Anonymous]

My husband works from home, we have separate bank accounts and emails. He is never without his phone and I have him a ton of freedoms to pursue hobbies and do things with friends. I had no idea he was having an affair.

[Anonymous]

My friend's husband cheated on her repeatedly. She suspected but also wasn't ready to admit it to herself until she got a (thankfully treatable) STI.

He always had his phone locked and wouldn't give her the password. He convinced her this was totally normal until she saw me login in to DH's phone because mine was dead and I needed to send a text.

He worked in IT and knew how to delete/hide emails in ways that she couldn't find them. Even when she got into his email because he left his account signed in on his iPad, she still couldn't access anything. (she later found them with the help of another IT person's advice).

He worked odd hours and would often be called out at weird times/days to fix a network issue for one of his businesses. She had no way to know when it was work and when it was cheating.

It was really heartbreaking when it all came out after the STI because there was SO much he'd hidden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband works from home, we have separate bank accounts and emails. He is never without his phone and I have him a ton of freedoms to pursue hobbies and do things with friends. I had no idea he was having an affair.

You can never give a guy SO much allowance as you did, of course he cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend's husband cheated on her repeatedly. She suspected but also wasn't ready to admit it to herself until she got a (thankfully treatable) STI.

He always had his phone locked and wouldn't give her the password. He convinced her this was totally normal until she saw me login in to DH's phone because mine was dead and I needed to send a text.

He worked in IT and knew how to delete/hide emails in ways that she couldn't find them. Even when she got into his email because he left his account signed in on his iPad, she still couldn't access anything. (she later found them with the help of another IT person's advice).

He worked odd hours and would often be called out at weird times/days to fix a network issue for one of his businesses. She had no way to know when it was work and when it was cheating.

It was really heartbreaking when it all came out after the STI because there was SO much he'd hidden.

HA what a bastard, well odd hours never make sense to me, NEVER works in IT?? bad luck but he should have never denied her access to his phone, if he did that then there is no trust and she should have knew that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't go through my husbands phone or emails. In the case of his work email, it can only be accessed through a password protected Blackberry or laptop, so I couldn't check it even if I wanted to. And speaking of the blackberry, that's through work so I don't have access to the phone records for it. Sometimes he travels. In theory, if he wanted to, he probably could cheat and it would take me a long time to find out. Even if I were suspicious, if he conducted it all through the work accounts, it would be damn hard for me to find proof.

I do think I would get a spidey sense that something wasn't right if he DID cheat or was having a side relationship. But the proof would be hard to come by to validate that.

No you can always buy a GPS trackign system and insert it in his car, so you can see where he goes. Of course he might have a business car, phone etc in this case you can buy him a present that is actually a hidden camera ( very easy to use) if you are not comfortable in using these spy tools ( they are VERY usefull) you can always tell by paying attention to his sex drive. If he is not asking then you have your answer right there! although he can have hard times at work. But no he would NOT get away with it for a long time if you would get that sense you say you would get you would only need to TRY.

A hidden camera as a present? Been to see the Veronica Mars recently?

Haha, no but there are tons of devices you can use for a certain price to discover your husband's infedility other than hiring a PI, just leave it on technology.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone is a paranoid possessive skeptic constantly contemplating deception and insistently investigating the activity of their spouse.

Some people are credulous some people are confident and some people are just plain permissive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband works from home, we have separate bank accounts and emails. He is never without his phone and I have him a ton of freedoms to pursue hobbies and do things with friends. I had no idea he was having an affair.

You can never give a guy SO much allowance as you did, of course he cheated.

Please, the mere suggestion that I share some often blame for, gasp, allowing an adult to have freedom is ridiculous.