Adam Lanza, Aspergers and the press-here we go again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Adam Lanza was an adult; would his father even have the authority to release his doctor-patient confidentiality after his death?

Yes. His father and brother have the right to see his medical records after his death. They can do whatever they want with those medical records. If they wanted to wallpaper a bus stop with them, that would be fine.

Wallpapering a bus stop isn't a bad idea since all the pros had no idea Lanza was capable of what he did. Useless...

[Anonymous]

It might not be in the best professional interest of the treating doctors/psychs to release the records, since they didn't help him.

[Anonymous]

Bless this dad's heart, but calling his son "evil" rather than "mentally ill" is a huge part of the problem.

Failing to treat psychiatric disorders, including ASDs, are a major cause of violence in our society. Our prisons are full of people with mental health problems who committed crimes because they have mental health problems. If people want to do something after an event like Sandy Hook to stop it from happening again, educating society about the need to treat psychiatric disorders, creating a template for what families should do about children and adult children with psychiatric disorders would be a place to start.

Additional resources would also help, but the Lanzas weren't short on money. They just were clueless about what to do with it to help their son.

It's true that most kids with ASDs aren't violent, but some kids with ASDs are violent. It's true that most people with mental health problems aren't violent, but some are very, very violent. We need to address that fact squarely, without panic or scape-goating or witch hunting, and develop means to help those people.

[Anonymous]

This young man suffered some sort of psychotic break. That isn't typical of Aspergers. The kid had something else going on besides Aspergers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bless this dad's heart, but calling his son "evil" rather than "mentally ill" is a huge part of the problem.

Failing to treat psychiatric disorders, including ASDs, are a major cause of violence in our society. Our prisons are full of people with mental health problems who committed crimes because they have mental health problems. If people want to do something after an event like Sandy Hook to stop it from happening again, educating society about the need to treat psychiatric disorders, creating a template for what families should do about children and adult children with psychiatric disorders would be a place to start.

Additional resources would also help, but the Lanzas weren't short on money. They just were clueless about what to do with it to help their son.

It's true that most kids with ASDs aren't violent, but some kids with ASDs are violent. It's true that most people with mental health problems aren't violent, but some are very, very violent. We need to address that fact squarely, without panic or scape-goating or witch hunting, and develop means to help those people.

I agree. Calling your own kid "evil" was over the top and how Peter Lanza would have been killed too if he had been at the house; How each bullet shot into Nancy was symbolic for each member of his family, etc. He wasn't exactly an involved dad and let Nancy deal with it all.

What gets me were all the windows in his room being blocked with garbage bags and only communicating with his Mom, the only other person he had contact with outside the internet probably, through email: How is this type of behavior even remotely normal?

Calling these parents "Clueless" is being kind.

[Anonymous]

I think you are all being too hard on the Dad. First of all he makes it clear that Adam must have had a co-morbido and it was NOT the AS that led to the murders. Second, he also makes it clear that ADam had a psychiatric illness so while you may quibble with the word "evil" he is not using it in opposition to mentally ill.

The father tried to stay in touch but when can you do when someone this old doesn't want to see his father? He didn't "let" his ex-wife deal with it, he was shut out by his son, aided by his ex-wife. And he continued to send Adam emails (that were never answered).

Basically the mother kept accommodating and accommodating and didn't realize what she was enabling. There is a bit of a cautionary tale here that those of us with kids with SN need to make sure we aren't accommodating behaviors that can and should change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you are all being too hard on the Dad. First of all he makes it clear that Adam must have had a co-morbido and it was NOT the AS that led to the murders. Second, he also makes it clear that ADam had a psychiatric illness so while you may quibble with the word "evil" he is not using it in opposition to mentally ill.

The father tried to stay in touch but when can you do when someone this old doesn't want to see his father? He didn't "let" his ex-wife deal with it, he was shut out by his son, aided by his ex-wife. And he continued to send Adam emails (that were never answered).

Basically the mother kept accommodating and accommodating and didn't realize what she was enabling. There is a bit of a cautionary tale here that those of us with kids with SN need to make sure we aren't accommodating behaviors that can and should change.

Peter Lanza didn't make much of an effort did he? He sent emails. Was probably relieved on a certain level when his son stopped answering his emails. No mention of the dad trying to see his son in two yrs.

Read the state's report. The father and son relationship mostly deteriorated when the parents' divorce became final and like a lot of divorced dads, the father went on with his life without having to deal with his SN kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are all being too hard on the Dad. First of all he makes it clear that Adam must have had a co-morbido and it was NOT the AS that led to the murders. Second, he also makes it clear that ADam had a psychiatric illness so while you may quibble with the word "evil" he is not using it in opposition to mentally ill.

The father tried to stay in touch but when can you do when someone this old doesn't want to see his father? He didn't "let" his ex-wife deal with it, he was shut out by his son, aided by his ex-wife. And he continued to send Adam emails (that were never answered).

Basically the mother kept accommodating and accommodating and didn't realize what she was enabling. There is a bit of a cautionary tale here that those of us with kids with SN need to make sure we aren't accommodating behaviors that can and should change.

Peter Lanza didn't make much of an effort did he? He sent emails. Was probably relieved on a certain level when his son stopped answering his emails. No mention of the dad trying to see his son in two yrs.

Read the state's report. The father and son relationship mostly deteriorated when the parents' divorce became final and like a lot of divorced dads, the father went on with his life without having to deal with his SN kid.

Thats simply not true. he tried to see his son and Adam refused. And he was still seeing his son after the divorce -- taking him to the Bill Cosby show, watching TV with his and discussing politics. I read the state's report. Adam's mental illness led him to comletely isolate himself from everyone, even his mother to some extent. She had not set foot in his room in YEARS. he would hand out laundry. Their interaction was minimal.

Maybe you have issues with fathers after divorce but that wasn't the problem here.

[Anonymous]

It seems like the remarriage, not the divorce, killed their relationship. So common in the SN world for the dad to move on and get a "life redo". Especially when the SN children are sons. I think a subset of fathers are ashamed of their "defective" sons and want to distance themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are all being too hard on the Dad. First of all he makes it clear that Adam must have had a co-morbido and it was NOT the AS that led to the murders. Second, he also makes it clear that ADam had a psychiatric illness so while you may quibble with the word "evil" he is not using it in opposition to mentally ill.

The father tried to stay in touch but when can you do when someone this old doesn't want to see his father? He didn't "let" his ex-wife deal with it, he was shut out by his son, aided by his ex-wife. And he continued to send Adam emails (that were never answered).

Basically the mother kept accommodating and accommodating and didn't realize what she was enabling. There is a bit of a cautionary tale here that those of us with kids with SN need to make sure we aren't accommodating behaviors that can and should change.

Peter Lanza didn't make much of an effort did he? He sent emails. Was probably relieved on a certain level when his son stopped answering his emails. No mention of the dad trying to see his son in two yrs.

Read the state's report. The father and son relationship mostly deteriorated when the parents' divorce became final and like a lot of divorced dads, the father went on with his life without having to deal with his SN kid.

He subtly blames his wife throughout the piece too, which he can do since she's dead. Solomon did t press him at all. Did he even ask if Lanza was okay with his son having access to guns?

[Anonymous]

Where can one find the state report to read?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems like the remarriage, not the divorce, killed their relationship. So common in the SN world for the dad to move on and get a "life redo". Especially when the SN children are sons. I think a subset of fathers are ashamed of their "defective" sons and want to distance themselves.

Yeah, he got a "life redo" until his son sucked him back in by doing what he did.

I actually felt more sympathy for the dad before he did the interview. The article made it seem like the father was trying to distance himself even now and no other purpose. It certainly didn't answer why Adam Lanza did it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bless this dad's heart, but calling his son "evil" rather than "mentally ill" is a huge part of the problem.

Failing to treat psychiatric disorders, including ASDs, are a major cause of violence in our society. Our prisons are full of people with mental health problems who committed crimes because they have mental health problems. If people want to do something after an event like Sandy Hook to stop it from happening again, educating society about the need to treat psychiatric disorders, creating a template for what families should do about children and adult children with psychiatric disorders would be a place to start.

Additional resources would also help, but the Lanzas weren't short on money. They just were clueless about what to do with it to help their son.

It's true that most kids with ASDs aren't violent, but some kids with ASDs are violent. It's true that most people with mental health problems aren't violent, but some are very, very violent. We need to address that fact squarely, without panic or scape-goating or witch hunting, and develop means to help those people.

Excellent comments here. Although most ASDs aren't violent, it's also naïve to describe them all as sweet. When they do act out or engage in harm towards others, it's often from a misguided perspective of others. Still, they can display violent behavior. Medication has helped many of them participate in typical school activities, but it seems that Nancy Lanza wasn't in favor of medicating her son. In this situation, I do think he needed meds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like the remarriage, not the divorce, killed their relationship. So common in the SN world for the dad to move on and get a "life redo". Especially when the SN children are sons. I think a subset of fathers are ashamed of their "defective" sons and want to distance themselves.

Yeah, he got a "life redo" until his son sucked him back in by doing what he did.

I actually felt more sympathy for the dad before he did the interview. The article made it seem like the father was trying to distance himself even now and no other purpose. It certainly didn't answer why Adam Lanza did it.

Genetics do play a part, of course. Perhaps Mr. Lanza is a more reserved type of individual, and combined with whatever genetic make-up his former wife contributed, it was not a good gene "mix" for their son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems like the remarriage, not the divorce, killed their relationship. So common in the SN world for the dad to move on and get a "life redo". Especially when the SN children are sons. I think a subset of fathers are ashamed of their "defective" sons and want to distance themselves.

Yeah, he got a "life redo" until his son sucked him back in by doing what he did.

I actually felt more sympathy for the dad before he did the interview. The article made it seem like the father was trying to distance himself even now and no other purpose. It certainly didn't answer why Adam Lanza did it.

17:36 again. I agree. The article is supposed to be about Peter Lanza searching for answers, but I didn't see much of that in the piece. Lanza wanted to control the narrative so he selected a sympathetic writer who didn't ask him any tough questions. Why didn't Solomon ask why the Lanzas let Adam give up on medication after trying one med for three days? Why didn't he ask if the family tried family therapy prior to or after the divorce? Why didn't he ask Peter Lanza if he was really okay with all those guns in the house?