mom & DH

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You and DH are not the 6 year old twins of your parents who need to be given equal value gifts and receive phone calls on your birthdays. WTF?

This. OMG.

[Anonymous]

You are 40!!! How is this an issue. You and DH need to grow up. I'm 33 and DH has never recd a gift in my 7 yrs of marriage nor does he mind whereas I recive lavish gifts. Your parents love you! Let it go. They probably have limited income but care so much about you and don't know what to get the sig others of their children. Relax and be happy you don't have real problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps your DH is the exception to the rule, but I tend to think most men could not care less if MIL doesn't call to say happy birthday. She sent a gift!

THIS. My DH and mom get along fantastically but she doesn't call to say Happy Birthday. Card and gift, well wishes via the card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is wonderful, but she doesn't treat DH the same way MIL treats me. MIL always gives me and DH the same value bday and xmas gifts. My Mom always spends almost twice as much on my gifts as DH. (She does this with all the son's ad daughter in law's, not just mine) Recently we had a big 60th bday bash for my mom and each of contributed to the cost of the party. Now DH just had his 40th bday and mom sent a gift, but forgot to call on the big day. DH has never said anything, but I'm sure he notices. I am not sure what to do, it makes me feel bad.

Wow, OP.

Who keeps score like that? So petty.

And, no. DH didn't notice. Or care. That is all you and your neurotic brain at work.

[Anonymous]

Goodness everyone. Lets maybe as a question or two before making a bunch of assumptions about OP?

OP: Is this the only inequity you are noticing?

Has your mom used gift giving as a tool of manipulation in the past?

I get the sense there is some missing info that might be useful in understanding the focus on the gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Goodness everyone. Lets maybe as a question or two before making a bunch of assumptions about OP?
sorry, we can only make judgemental statements based on what she shared

OP: Is this the only inequity you are noticing?
I'll be dollars-to-donuts that she has noticed more. Much more.

Has your mom used gift giving as a tool of manipulation in the past?
Seriously, that requires some subjective interpretation, doesn't it?

I get the sense there is some missing info that might be useful in understanding the focus on the gifts.
Probably not. I'm 43. DW calls her parents on their birthdays. I call mine. Neither have ever called us on our birthdays. There are plenty of inequities with my DW and her ILs but IMO, the OP is just picking nits.