How to "pick" a school (weighing private and public options)

[Anonymous]

Not OP but I like the above suggestions and have been listening to the book recommendation on Audible today. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I apologize if this has been covered many times, but we are rushing to make some decisions on elementary school for our first. We are considering some private schools and the local public. I am looking for advice, resources, books or even links to early discussions on this here, about how to go about the decision. I am not in the DC area (former DC resident, still use DCUM)

We have visited and I have some information on stats but I feel like I'm totally lost on how to proceed on this very important decision.

Thanks so much!

I listened to my kid, who chronically told me that he wished a school would have x, y, or z. These things were never things like artificial turf on the fields or more iPads. It was more like "happy teachers" or "friendlier kids."

Finally, he was so sad in his school he said, "I'd rather go to heaven than go back to a place tomorrow where nobody understands me, but I know suicide is a sin because life is a gift from God, so I'd wind up in hell if I did that."
So, we went to Catholic school. He's loved there and works through things with his classmates as if they were cousins. His teacher described the children as "souls" which I find comforting.

"I know your child didn't want to be in this group, but there is another soul who was being left out of the group, and kids need to look beyond themselves once in a while."

When people talk about a whole child approach, I feel like this school is ahead of the curve. My kid is bright and I feel like we can support his academic curiosity without making a path to the Ivy League the center of our family life/budget.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I listened to my kid, who chronically told me that he wished a school would have x, y, or z. These things were never things like artificial turf on the fields or more iPads. It was more like "happy teachers" or "friendlier kids."

Finally, he was so sad in his school he said, "I'd rather go to heaven than go back to a place tomorrow where nobody understands me, but I know suicide is a sin because life is a gift from God, so I'd wind up in hell if I did that."

Oh my god, that's so sad. Glad that you were able to find an alternative for DS.

I chose private because in order to afford a house in a good public school district we'd have to spend right to our limit of affordability. That means that if the school didn't work out, we couldn't just move DC to another school -- we'd have to hope to sell, move house, etc. I had such a bad (public) school experience that I valued mobility over all else. If my kid is miserable I will MOVE HER.

I think I am unusual in having made this choice. Most people choose the house in the better school district. Financially that probably makes more sense. Educationally, for us, it didn't.

[Anonymous]

PP here.

Thanks. It was a rocky time. Better now.

I think in our case, finding a school that a community in which we felt we could shuffle right in was important.
It does become your life. We went to visit one lovely place that was very environmentally friendly.
That is great but it isn't something we have prioritized as a family. We have a minivan for a family that takes up 1/2 of it, I buy pre-packaged snacks to make mornings so more smoothly & control portions, and I don't use recycled lunch or grocery bags. When I see the Parenthood episodes re: The Green Team, it reminds me of this.

One school had a no television policy for school and home. They didn't want kids using PCs until MS. Both my kids have hand-me-down computers. I designed educational web sites at the time. That felt weird. What would be talk about?

I sometimes think if we moved out of our neighborhood now that we are committed to paying tuition, we'd save 20-30% on our monthly mortgage payment. We looked at schools ranging in tuition from $7K-$25K. It is amazing. Public school has a simplicity and I covet the size of homes of my friends 15 minutes farther "out", but we have a balance now.