If you have 2 close in age under 3, how did you decide nanny or daycare?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a nanny. DH grew up with a nanny. To us, daycare is for people who can't afford a nanny. Hiring a nanny was a no-brainer for us.

We went with a center for almost the same reason. People in our area who were poor had baby sitters. People whose parents had money could afford a fancier daycare center with a more structured curriculum. I went with a daycare because I had baby sitters as a child, and I was always bored. I wished I could've had the classes and other activities other kids had who went to centers.

Wow, that's so interesting. Can I ask where you grew up that things were like that? DH and I both grew up in NYC. Our girls have a nanny who takes them to the playground daily and classes multiple times each week, and story time, etc. They're not sitting at home all day. If that were the case, then yes, it would seem boring and daycare would seem like the better choice.

Oh, FFS, lady. We get it, you're more important than all of us, and our cheap daycares. This is OP --we have also had nannies who will and have done this, but the kids have very different needs right now. 2.5 year old needs a great deal and baby needs very little.

[Anonymous]

For the OP. Given your 2 blocks from center, which is on the way to metro situation, and your very active 2.5 yr old, perhaps a childcare center is best for you. The only thing is with 2 in care you might end up having the kids sick more often because if 1 gets "it" the other will.... so if both kids are in care then there is more chance of 1 getting sick than if you only did a 1/2 day preschool for older and kept baby home with nanny. But if you use a nanny and do 5 days/week preschool (remember your nanny has to be able to bring/pick up so you need a nanny with car or who can handle 2 kids on metro) then when your older one is sick, he/she can stay home with nanny and you won't miss work. Otherwise, sounds like for your family this particular center only 2 blocks from home sounds great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a nanny. DH grew up with a nanny. To us, daycare is for people who can't afford a nanny. Hiring a nanny was a no-brainer for us.

But that's not true. It is cheaper to have a nanny for 2, unless we also do preschool and then it is:

Daycare for 2 -- $3200/month
Nanny for 2 -- $3000/month.

That's a pretty shitty salary for a nanny to 2 kids.

[Anonymous]

We are doing Au pair plus part time preschool. Our house allows for her to have her own space/bathroom and the flexible hours were a bonus.

[Anonymous]

The salary for the nanny is for 36 hours per week. So, 20 per hour for that many hours. How is that shitty?

[Anonymous]

At age 2.5 a child needs to be around other kids their age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At age 2.5 a child needs to be around other kids their age.

I think so, too, and, at least for my son, it seems like for more than the 3 hours a day that it PT preschool. Have others found this? He just gets so bored and frustrated when inside with his baby sister and starts really acting out. He needs what feels like constant attention and interaction. Which is, I am sure, totally normal! And she can be fussy and high needs; she is not a good sleeper. I guess I am just worried that the two of them home with just one adult is a bad recipe for unhappiness for them and the caregiver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We went with nanny because for us it is more naturalistic - in their own home, on their own schedule etc. they can have busy days and quiet days. Also no commute, less stress and a lot more down time for the kids. It is easy to include lots of socializing and group activities into their day with a nanny but you can't include down time, quiet days, flexible activities and no commute with daycare.

The flexibility for parents is also better with a nanny and we don't have to do drop offs or pick ups and spend more time in the car or on the roads.

We did this as well, but set it up as a nanny share, with the share-child the same age as our younger child. It worked well as they were company for each other and it helped keep costs down.

Did your older child do preschool? Do you think if we did preschool 5 days a week for our older child we could do a share for the other part? But then the nanny would be driving three kids around for pick up and drop off.

Yes, our older child did preschool five mornings a week, at a preschool near our house (walkable). Share-child was at our house with the younger one three days/week (but a five-day share would work fine too). Nanny had a double stroller with a buggy board and walked DC#1 to preschool each morning, then took the little ones to a playground (or back home in bad weather). At noon she would take them back to pick up #1, return home, give them lunch, and put them down for naps.

If you do not have a preschool nearby then yes, nanny would be driving three kids to/from preschool - but I don't think that is a big deal (assuming it is a quick drive). As the little ones get a bit older, she will want to be out with them anyway, e.g. at storytimes, playgrounds, etc.

We kept this arrangement until our older one was in first grade and the younger ones 3yo. At that point we decided our 3yo would do well in all-day preschool. It was nice to have him home with his share-child friend and his older brother until then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a nanny. DH grew up with a nanny. To us, daycare is for people who can't afford a nanny. Hiring a nanny was a no-brainer for us.

We went with a center for almost the same reason. People in our area who were poor had baby sitters. People whose parents had money could afford a fancier daycare center with a more structured curriculum. I went with a daycare because I had baby sitters as a child, and I was always bored. I wished I could've had the classes and other activities other kids had who went to centers.

Wow, that's so interesting. Can I ask where you grew up that things were like that? DH and I both grew up in NYC. Our girls have a nanny who takes them to the playground daily and classes multiple times each week, and story time, etc. They're not sitting at home all day. If that were the case, then yes, it would seem boring and daycare would seem like the better choice.

We understand. You are a New Yorker. You are Rich and Important and Better Than the Rest of Us. You had the Best of Everything and so do your kids.

We get it, no worries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a nanny. DH grew up with a nanny. To us, daycare is for people who can't afford a nanny. Hiring a nanny was a no-brainer for us.

Oh, DCUM.

don't feed her. please don't. the levels people go to when they need to justify their views is hilarious. We spend $3600/month for two in preschool. We could afford a nanny with no problem. But preschool is a better option for our family. OP, consider your family's overall needs and interests and then decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a nanny. DH grew up with a nanny. To us, daycare is for people who can't afford a nanny. Hiring a nanny was a no-brainer for us.

We went with a center for almost the same reason. People in our area who were poor had baby sitters. People whose parents had money could afford a fancier daycare center with a more structured curriculum. I went with a daycare because I had baby sitters as a child, and I was always bored. I wished I could've had the classes and other activities other kids had who went to centers.

Wow, that's so interesting. Can I ask where you grew up that things were like that? DH and I both grew up in NYC. Our girls have a nanny who takes them to the playground daily and classes multiple times each week, and story time, etc. They're not sitting at home all day. If that were the case, then yes, it would seem boring and daycare would seem like the better choice.

I grew up in the midwest. It is very culturally different than NYC. Most of the sitters would not drive, so the care is within their house. People with money don't live in cities. They live in the suburbs. We would never walk to a city park, because we live in large, planned communities. Centers have a curriculum where child are taught. Sitters didn't possess a high degree of education, so they usually weren't qualified to do much teaching. They certainly didn't have any training or a degree. Most of the baby sitters we see in this area do not seem to have a degree in early childhood education, and many are ESOL. We feel much more confident in the care from the trained caregivers at our center. After 2 years old, those that specialist in early childhood education are a plus for us.

[Anonymous]

*sorry for the typos - typing from my phone!

[Anonymous]

Nanny so that I don't have to get them up, fed and out of the house in the morning. Plus they get more attention vs. day care. Nanny can take them to play dates or classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up with a nanny. DH grew up with a nanny. To us, daycare is for people who can't afford a nanny. Hiring a nanny was a no-brainer for us.

Wow, I grew up raised by my mother. I always thought nannies were for people who want to outsource their parenting.

[Anonymous]

Op here -- thanks so much all. I think a big part of what I want to avoid is the commute for the kids and there isn't a preschool that is walking distance open 9-12. Otherwise I love the idea of a share and walking to and from preschool. More to think about. I love hearing other peoples' thoughts and experiences, even if I don't agree!, because I've been debating this so long in my head...