Toddler saying he's a "bad boy"

[Anonymous]

This happened with my 2 year old niece (the specific phrasing in this case was 'bad guy'). Turned out that her 4 year old sister was frequently playing games with 'good guys' and 'bad guys' and was often telling her younger sister to be the bad guy. Could be something similar given that there are older kids at daycare.

[Anonymous]

OP, another way to try to gather some information would be to ask some of the other parents if they've noticed their children doing this or if they know where it could be coming from. This may gave the one parent that the provider pointed to a chance to say "oops, that was me" or to see if other parents share your concern.

You can also go back to the provider and play along with her claim that it wasn't her, but say that it is coming from somewhere and you find it worrisome and can she correct the children so they know that none of them are "bad" boys and girls, etc. That puts her on warning that you don't like it, and whether it was her or not, you want it stopped.

And then think about looking for another setting if you can.

When my daughter was two, she came home saying "shut up" and I quickly told her that wasn't nice, and then I told her teachers about it and asked where in the world she might have heard that. They suggested it might have been a child with an older sibling (which was possible and even likely), but it gave me a chance to talk to them about keeping an ear out for it and talking to the children about why that wasn't nice, etc.

good luck.

[Anonymous]

Very likely your caregiver is calling him a bad boy or at least did once and it stuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very normal for young children to do this. It's normal for kids to say they are bad, they want to die or they want to kill themselves.

I hope this is sarcastic.

Not sarcastic at all.

[Anonymous]

My daughter says this about her behavior at times "I was a bad girl today." She's 3. I believe she's infering it from when we talk about having made poor behavior choices in a given situation. Like last week she destroyed a classmate's block creation and kicked all the blocks all over the classroom. She's well aware that the opposite of good is bad, so when I ask her if that was a good behavior choice, I think naturally, in her head she goes "no, it was a bad choice." I just say "no, you are not bad, you made a poor choice. Let's try harder tomorrow to make better choices." I really don't think anyone is telling her she's a bad girl, I've spent enough time in the daycare, and it's in my office so I see the teachers/children in the halls frequently enough that there's no way they could hide it if they were using that kind of language.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter says this about her behavior at times "I was a bad girl today." She's 3. I believe she's infering it from when we talk about having made poor behavior choices in a given situation. Like last week she destroyed a classmate's block creation and kicked all the blocks all over the classroom. She's well aware that the opposite of good is bad, so when I ask her if that was a good behavior choice, I think naturally, in her head she goes "no, it was a bad choice." I just say "no, you are not bad, you made a poor choice. Let's try harder tomorrow to make better choices." I really don't think anyone is telling her she's a bad girl, I've spent enough time in the daycare, and it's in my office so I see the teachers/children in the halls frequently enough that there's no way they could hide it if they were using that kind of language.

Exactly, PP. Too many moms here jumping to the worst conclusion about someone else. Not that anyone should find that surprising.

[Anonymous]

We had this issue too and it was not the daycare provider (she is actually a friend and was proactive in letting me know about it and that she was tryig to correct it) but the other little boy whose older sister would tell him he had been a bad boy. I would then hear him tell my son he had been a bad boy as well. He repeated it non stop for about a week or two then it dropped from his radar.

[Anonymous]

I know I'm going to get backlash for this, but does he by any chance have a black teacher or teacher's assistant? There are some (black) members of my family who will tell my kids they are bad, as a joke. Even though they mean no harm, I have had to tell them to cut it out because I don't want my kids internalizing it the way your son has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm going to get backlash for this, but does he by any chance have a black teacher or teacher's assistant? There are some (black) members of my family who will tell my kids they are bad, as a joke. Even though they mean no harm, I have had to tell them to cut it out because I don't want my kids internalizing it the way your son has.

OP here. No, but the daycare providers are of Asian decent and I wondered if cultural differences could be a factor in this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very normal for young children to do this. It's normal for kids to say they are bad, they want to die or they want to kill themselves.

I hope this is sarcastic.

Not sarcastic at all.

It is not normal at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very normal for young children to do this. It's normal for kids to say they are bad, they want to die or they want to kill themselves.

I hope this is sarcastic.

Not sarcastic at all.

It is not normal at all.

I agree not at all normal. In fact if your child is saying that they want to die and want to kill themselves you have much bigger problems than being a "bad boy."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very normal for young children to do this. It's normal for kids to say they are bad, they want to die or they want to kill themselves.

I hope this is sarcastic.

Not sarcastic at all.

It is not normal at all.

I agree not at all normal. In fact if your child is saying that they want to die and want to kill themselves you have much bigger problems than being a "bad boy."

NP here. It is actually quite normal. Not ideal by any stretch of imagination, but not an indication of anything horrible. Little kids don't even know what that means and they love to parrot what older kids, siblings say - and even though the crowd here on DCUM doesn't let their kids play with guns and using violent language, most of America does. They see their older brother/sister using this kind of language while playing, and they parrot it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very normal for young children to do this. It's normal for kids to say they are bad, they want to die or they want to kill themselves.

I hope this is sarcastic.

Not sarcastic at all.

It is not normal at all.

I agree not at all normal. In fact if your child is saying that they want to die and want to kill themselves you have much bigger problems than being a "bad boy."

NP here. It is actually quite normal. Not ideal by any stretch of imagination, but not an indication of anything horrible. Little kids don't even know what that means and they love to parrot what older kids, siblings say - and even though the crowd here on DCUM doesn't let their kids play with guns and using violent language, most of America does. They see their older brother/sister using this kind of language while playing, and they parrot it.

I have never heard or heard of a kid saying they want to die or kill themselves. My kids play with guns. Older sibs do not say they want to die either.... Not normal. If your kid is doing this, they need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very normal for young children to do this. It's normal for kids to say they are bad, they want to die or they want to kill themselves.

I hope this is sarcastic.

Not sarcastic at all.

It is not normal at all.

I agree not at all normal. In fact if your child is saying that they want to die and want to kill themselves you have much bigger problems than being a "bad boy."

NP here. It is actually quite normal. Not ideal by any stretch of imagination, but not an indication of anything horrible. Little kids don't even know what that means and they love to parrot what older kids, siblings say - and even though the crowd here on DCUM doesn't let their kids play with guns and using violent language, most of America does. They see their older brother/sister using this kind of language while playing, and they parrot it.

Oh, that makes it so much better. Wonderful that they are hearing it from older siblings. No problem here, please move along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very normal for young children to do this. It's normal for kids to say they are bad, they want to die or they want to kill themselves.

I hope this is sarcastic.

Not sarcastic at all.

It is not normal at all.

I agree not at all normal. In fact if your child is saying that they want to die and want to kill themselves you have much bigger problems than being a "bad boy."

NP here. It is actually quite normal. Not ideal by any stretch of imagination, but not an indication of anything horrible. Little kids don't even know what that means and they love to parrot what older kids, siblings say - and even though the crowd here on DCUM doesn't let their kids play with guns and using violent language, most of America does. They see their older brother/sister using this kind of language while playing, and they parrot it.

I have never heard or heard of a kid saying they want to die or kill themselves. My kids play with guns. Older sibs do not say they want to die either.... Not normal. If your kid is doing this, they need help.

Nope, my kid is not doing this. But I see it quite often. Also, to the pp below you - I never said it was ok or good, just normal. Not everything that is normal is good or ideal.