Please tell me what you think of this comment

[Anonymous]

Unless this happened a while ago, I guess my bigger issue would be that he had a good friend visiting from out of town and you didn't know it. Are you so early into the relationship that you wouldn't mention that sort of stuff to one another? I have to assume this tour happened a while ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I am oversensitive when it comes to other ladies due to a cheating spouse in the past. That's why I am asking for a reality check.

I think that it's a weird thing to tell someone, but I assume a lot of context is missing. Why was Larla giving her opinion? Was he asking what she thought of him having a man cave? I think that bringing up something he clearly mentioned casually in the way you described will come off as crazy. If you justify this to him by saying that you are oversensitive about him being friends with women because your spouse cheated, you will seem that much crazier.

Either you trust him or you do not trust him.

[Anonymous]

Nothing in what he said would make me think that Larla actually visited recently.

[Anonymous]

It either means:

(1) Yes, he's trying to gently let you know that you're not the only one.

or

(2) He feels comfortable and close enough with you to be able to talk openly about his past and the other people in his life.

I'm guessing the second given that the whole tone of the message is quite chatty. But you should definitely check in with him (without coming across needy, of course).

[Anonymous]

Just ask him "Whose this Larla bitch?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here is an excerpt from an email from a guy I'm in a romantic (sexual) relationship with. I'd like you to tell me what you think this means. Yes, I will be asking him about it when I see him.

"I'm just about finished working on the man cave. But my friend Larla from Miami pointed out that my whole house is a man cave. True - den of sports, bar area, music room, boudoir, etc.... "

My feeling is that he's telling me his friend Larla visited from out of town and toured his house including the boudoir. I don't know if he's trying to make me jealous or warning me that he's socialized with this other woman.

Of course I will ask him when I see him ("So, I noticed you mentioned Larla, I take it she visited from out of town? Anything I should know?")

We agreed when we began a sexual relationship that we would tell the other if we became physically involved with someone else.

I just find it odd that he would mention another woman and his boudoir. Thoughts?

What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

I think you can't see the forest through the trees. If received this from a guy I was dating, I'd definitely ask about Larla ("So who's Larla? Was she just in town visiting?"), but wouldn't assume anything was going on between them unless his responses suggested it.

But I'd wonder more about the message he may have been trying to convey about having a man cave/man house. He could have been just joking around (hard to say since it is out of context). Or, he could have been drawing lines letting you know that he doesn't intend to settle down any time soon (not an issue if you really are not looking for anything more than what you have now, but definitely an issue if you've been doing things like hinting around about being exclusive or spending more time together, and that's not what he wants).

[Anonymous]

1311+ lmao

"We agreed when we began a sexual relationship that we would tell the other if we became physically involved with someone else. "

I would just ask him if he's involved with anyone else, if that's what you're wondering.

[Anonymous]

lol dear God women suck. How do men even date us??

[Anonymous]

Larla is a ho. BEWARE!

[Anonymous]

I'm not asking him to be monogamous. I am asking him that if he chooses to get sexually involved with someone else, he disclose that. He agreed, and I agreed to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Um, its doubtful he will disclose having other sexual trysts because you will probably stop having sex with him. And you're a sure bet. Men don't stop pursuing or accepting advances from other women just because they're having sex with women they're not in relationships with. I think the problem is you're in a friends with benefits situation when you really want to be monogamous. If that's the case, the first step is to stop lying to yourself. Casual sex usually only works with men you'd never really want to be serious with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not asking him to be monogamous. I am asking him that if he chooses to get sexually involved with someone else, he disclose that. He agreed, and I agreed to do the same.

That's no fun. If you are just having casual sex, this request is weird. Why do/would you want to know this if it really doesn't matter to you? I think by requesting this, you are sending mixed signals to him. You say you don't want a relationship but still want to do know if he is banging other people? Weird.

[Anonymous]

But the excerpt doesn't say she saw his boudoir. Read it again, carefully. What he wrote was that he agrees with her that his whole house is decorated whatever and itemized the rooms to prove the point.

Overthinking.

[Anonymous]

I mean this nicely OP, but you know what to do.

If this was just a FWB situation and you want to know the deal, ask. You shouldn't be so emotionally invested that you can't do this.

If it's a FWB situation that you're hoping turns into a relationship, know that 1.) that rarely happens, and that 2.) the conversation you should be having with him isn't about Larla, but about you.

I see a lot of my friends having sex with guys and then getting hurt because they desire a commitment but don't put in the time/effort to make that part happen first. I'm not saying wait forever, but sex with no commitment equals just that, and usually only that, to guys. Good luck.