5 year old with a tantrum

[Anonymous]

I'm interested in this post because it's vaguely similar to my newly turned 5yo. He has had some issues in the past and is low tone, but is incredibly active and the last time I asked a PT to assess his physical skills she laughed and said he has no ongoing issues related to the low-tone. But he has incredible sustained tantrums that aren't getting better with maturity; when he wants something that he can't have or can't do (e.g., legos won't fit together properly) he will scream or cry inconsolably. We try never to give in to this kind of emotional blackmail, but it's like he never absorbs the simple reality that screaming/sobbing won't get him the result he wants. It's getting unbearable, and particularly hard to manage when we are not at home. I feel like he is harder today at just-turned-5yo than he was at 3 or 4yo (and he was NEVER an easy kid.)

Any ideas? He has his well visit next week and I'm literally writing a list of incidents and behaviors to discuss with the ped. Last time I asked (a few months ago) they suggested talk therapy, but I'm dubious. He's a great, reasonably smart kid with a huge soft spot; I just can't figure out why he gets so stuck in a really bad loop when he's frustrated.