Did you insist DC visit schools he/she was not interested in? How many to visit?

[Anonymous]

My parents made me visit several schools I was opposed to and I hated them just as I expected. Then again, I was singularly focused on one school and my parents were attempting to get me to see beyond that school in case it didn't work out, which I now realize was the right strategy, however, I had plenty of schools on my list already that I was happy to visit.

For my DC, we're working on a more mixed approach, and I've been suggesting some schools that might interest her and fit her needs/scores/etc. since this fall and we'll do a big trip, probably to the Northeast, this spring. Somehow I feel like I knew about many more schools by this point than she did, but that could just be because my parents watched a lot of college basketball when I was a kid.

[Anonymous]

Our 2 oldest have gone through the college application process and our youngest is a junior. There's no way we could or would "insist" with any of them; that's just not our parenting style. We did, however, bargain with them about seeing a range of schools -- e.g., "Look, X is just 25 miles from Y, which you'd like to see. I know you think you won't like X, but can you just humor me? If it turns out you don't like X as much as you think you won't like it, that will simply help confirm and perhaps clarify what you're looking for in a school, right?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is a senior. We visited UVA and W&M the summer before Junior year. Back then she was not interested in colleges at all and had bad grades in sophomore year. The visits really helped her gain focus on academics and prepare for SAT. Spring break we visited Cornell. In summer we visited Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill. At that time, colleges became real and she started to get realistic. In the fall we visited Penn State and VA Tech, and the local schools. These school were not on her list, but I insisted on including them as her safety. She got accepted by Penn State in early Dec and we visited Penn again.
Now she is happy with going to Penn, even though she didn't even want to consider it at the beginning. We are still waiting for in-state schools but I heard it is hard to get into UVA or W&M. Between Tech and Penn is going to be a hard decision but I think she will pick Penn.

My advice for OP is, as long as the two visits served the purpose of getting him motivated, you can wait till summer to do other visits.

I disagree about visiting schools in the summer. it is really important to visit a school when the school is in session. (Fall or Spring) Seeing how the students are, what the campus feels like with students there etc. Seeing a bunch of buildings is really no help.

Visiting a northern school in the winter is also a really good idea. All schools look great in the fall when the leaves are falling. If your child likes a school when it is cold and the snow is on the ground makes a huge difference. I also agree that fall is really too late. It is very hard to get a school visit in when you are trying to do a fall sport, still study and possibly take your SAT's again. We actually started sophomore year. Nothing big, just to local schools. It really helped fro DC to see the difference between a small school and big school. Spacing out the visits also helps. After a while, you do get school over load.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is a senior. We visited UVA and W&M the summer before Junior year. Back then she was not interested in colleges at all and had bad grades in sophomore year. The visits really helped her gain focus on academics and prepare for SAT. Spring break we visited Cornell. In summer we visited Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill. At that time, colleges became real and she started to get realistic. In the fall we visited Penn State and VA Tech, and the local schools. These school were not on her list, but I insisted on including them as her safety. She got accepted by Penn State in early Dec and we visited Penn again.
Now she is happy with going to Penn, even though she didn't even want to consider it at the beginning. We are still waiting for in-state schools but I heard it is hard to get into UVA or W&M. Between Tech and Penn is going to be a hard decision but I think she will pick Penn.

My advice for OP is, as long as the two visits served the purpose of getting him motivated, you can wait till summer to do other visits.

I assume you are using Penn and Penn State interchangeably here? Penn is UPenn in Philadelphia. I can't imagine turning down Penn for Tech other than perhaps on costs.

[Anonymous]

You are right it is Penn state. Sorry for mixing the two.

[Anonymous]

Having visited 4 junior year is plenty, putting pressure on him to do more is just going to accelerate what can be a very difficult and stressful parent/kid relationship through the college application process. Next step is to meet with college counselor (most schools have one meeting with kid and parents late junior year) to see if the schools he loved are even possibilities in terms of admissions. And to get suggestions for reaches and safeties that are in some ways similar in feel and that he might like to apply to (and/or visit) but truly, the visits after the first 3-4 all seem the same, and going on tours with parents just doesn't tell a kid much of anything. Our DDs got much much more out of visits in the fall of senior year going on their own to their possible top choices, and staying with kids they knew from their schools or sports teams, or waiting until they were admitted (if not binding early decision) to make a final decision. Those are the visits that really gave them an idea of how they would fit in, not the glossy packaged presentations and tours, for that can mostly just do the virtual tours on line, once a kid has decided the big questions (engineering/science or otherwise specialized school versus liberal arts college/general university, small versus mid-sized versus large, city vs suburban vs rural, close to home vs medium distance vs other side of the country or world). Books can help, make available to him Colleges that Change Lives, and the Fiske guide. He can find a set of schools that seem in some ways similar to the schools he loved, but are possibly safeties or more certain admits by using the books. He doesn't need a final list or plan until November, so take some of the pressure off now. I agree that summer visits are completely useless.

[Anonymous]

Yes. I suggested a wide net and made sure we visited some schools outside her comfort zone. She thought she wanted urban and small, but she liked two of the larger schools (12,000-14,000, not 20,000 students) and one that a few that were in college towns instead of cities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is a senior. We visited UVA and W&M the summer before Junior year. Back then she was not interested in colleges at all and had bad grades in sophomore year. The visits really helped her gain focus on academics and prepare for SAT. Spring break we visited Cornell. In summer we visited Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill. At that time, colleges became real and she started to get realistic. In the fall we visited Penn State and VA Tech, and the local schools. These school were not on her list, but I insisted on including them as her safety. She got accepted by Penn State in early Dec and we visited Penn again.
Now she is happy with going to Penn, even though she didn't even want to consider it at the beginning. We are still waiting for in-state schools but I heard it is hard to get into UVA or W&M. Between Tech and Penn is going to be a hard decision but I think she will pick Penn.

My advice for OP is, as long as the two visits served the purpose of getting him motivated, you can wait till summer to do other visits.

I assume you are using Penn and Penn State interchangeably here? Penn is UPenn in Philadelphia. I can't imagine turning down Penn for Tech other than perhaps on costs.

Depends. If you are interested in science and engineering, and can get in-state tuition, Va. Tech might be more appealing than Penn. Penn is most popular among Jews who want to go into business or law and get turned down by HYP. Every one of my friends who got into Penn, and there were several, turned it down for other schools with higher acceptance rates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having visited 4 junior year is plenty, putting pressure on him to do more is just going to accelerate what can be a very difficult and stressful parent/kid relationship through the college application process. Next step is to meet with college counselor (most schools have one meeting with kid and parents late junior year) to see if the schools he loved are even possibilities in terms of admissions. And to get suggestions for reaches and safeties that are in some ways similar in feel and that he might like to apply to (and/or visit) but truly, the visits after the first 3-4 all seem the same, and going on tours with parents just doesn't tell a kid much of anything. Our DDs got much much more out of visits in the fall of senior year going on their own to their possible top choices, and staying with kids they knew from their schools or sports teams, or waiting until they were admitted (if not binding early decision) to make a final decision. Those are the visits that really gave them an idea of how they would fit in, not the glossy packaged presentations and tours, for that can mostly just do the virtual tours on line, once a kid has decided the big questions (engineering/science or otherwise specialized school versus liberal arts college/general university, small versus mid-sized versus large, city vs suburban vs rural, close to home vs medium distance vs other side of the country or world). Books can help, make available to him Colleges that Change Lives, and the Fiske guide. He can find a set of schools that seem in some ways similar to the schools he loved, but are possibly safeties or more certain admits by using the books. He doesn't need a final list or plan until November, so take some of the pressure off now. I agree that summer visits are completely useless.

Good advice. Only caveat is that many SLACs like to see you show interest, so I recommend doing those visits late junior or early senior year, before you apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is a senior. We visited UVA and W&M the summer before Junior year. Back then she was not interested in colleges at all and had bad grades in sophomore year. The visits really helped her gain focus on academics and prepare for SAT. Spring break we visited Cornell. In summer we visited Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill. At that time, colleges became real and she started to get realistic. In the fall we visited Penn State and VA Tech, and the local schools. These school were not on her list, but I insisted on including them as her safety. She got accepted by Penn State in early Dec and we visited Penn again.
Now she is happy with going to Penn, even though she didn't even want to consider it at the beginning. We are still waiting for in-state schools but I heard it is hard to get into UVA or W&M. Between Tech and Penn is going to be a hard decision but I think she will pick Penn.

My advice for OP is, as long as the two visits served the purpose of getting him motivated, you can wait till summer to do other visits.

I assume you are using Penn and Penn State interchangeably here? Penn is UPenn in Philadelphia. I can't imagine turning down Penn for Tech other than perhaps on costs.

Depends. If you are interested in science and engineering, and can get in-state tuition, Va. Tech might be more appealing than Penn. Penn is most popular among Jews who want to go into business or law and get turned down by HYP. Every one of my friends who got into Penn, and there were several, turned it down for other schools with higher acceptance rates.

Who in the world would turn down Penn for VA Tech?!? And idiot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is a senior. We visited UVA and W&M the summer before Junior year. Back then she was not interested in colleges at all and had bad grades in sophomore year. The visits really helped her gain focus on academics and prepare for SAT. Spring break we visited Cornell. In summer we visited Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill. At that time, colleges became real and she started to get realistic. In the fall we visited Penn State and VA Tech, and the local schools. These school were not on her list, but I insisted on including them as her safety. She got accepted by Penn State in early Dec and we visited Penn again.
Now she is happy with going to Penn, even though she didn't even want to consider it at the beginning. We are still waiting for in-state schools but I heard it is hard to get into UVA or W&M. Between Tech and Penn is going to be a hard decision but I think she will pick Penn.

My advice for OP is, as long as the two visits served the purpose of getting him motivated, you can wait till summer to do other visits.

I assume you are using Penn and Penn State interchangeably here? Penn is UPenn in Philadelphia. I can't imagine turning down Penn for Tech other than perhaps on costs.

Depends. If you are interested in science and engineering, and can get in-state tuition, Va. Tech might be more appealing than Penn. Penn is most popular among Jews who want to go into business or law and get turned down by HYP. Every one of my friends who got into Penn, and there were several, turned it down for other schools with higher acceptance rates.

It sounds like it is more about you and your friends being anti semitic more than anything else

[Anonymous]

Last summer we did a college brick and mortar walking your of Stanford, and rising junior DS loved it. So, we added several more schools while we were in California. There were a lot of summer students especially at Berkeley.

Now DS can 'feel' the school as he peruses the websites. So, wherever we visit regardless whether school is in or out of session, we will do the brick and mortar tour and still return if DS wants to during regular semesters.

We will be traveling during spring break and will make time for a walk through 2 major universities while we're in town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is a senior. We visited UVA and W&M the summer before Junior year. Back then she was not interested in colleges at all and had bad grades in sophomore year. The visits really helped her gain focus on academics and prepare for SAT. Spring break we visited Cornell. In summer we visited Duke and UNC-Chapel Hill. At that time, colleges became real and she started to get realistic. In the fall we visited Penn State and VA Tech, and the local schools. These school were not on her list, but I insisted on including them as her safety. She got accepted by Penn State in early Dec and we visited Penn again.
Now she is happy with going to Penn, even though she didn't even want to consider it at the beginning. We are still waiting for in-state schools but I heard it is hard to get into UVA or W&M. Between Tech and Penn is going to be a hard decision but I think she will pick Penn.

My advice for OP is, as long as the two visits served the purpose of getting him motivated, you can wait till summer to do other visits.

I assume you are using Penn and Penn State interchangeably here? Penn is UPenn in Philadelphia. I can't imagine turning down Penn for Tech other than perhaps on costs.

Depends. If you are interested in science and engineering, and can get in-state tuition, Va. Tech might be more appealing than Penn. Penn is most popular among Jews who want to go into business or law and get turned down by HYP. Every one of my friends who got into Penn, and there were several, turned it down for other schools with higher acceptance rates.

It sounds like it is more about you and your friends being anti semitic more than anything else

++1.