Dad Acts Like He's 5 Years Old...Feeds Favorite Holiday Food To Dogs....

[Anonymous]

You dad is a shitty person, OP. Make your spinach pie and DO NOT invite him to Christmas. See how funny he finds being excluded.

[Anonymous]

OP, WAKE UP.

Cut them off. They are not responsible adults.
Do not email them, phone them, visit them, or invite them. Your children and yourself need to be preserved from them! If they call, keep conversations short and the first change you get tell them directly that they have been rude to you all your life and that you are moving on.

They will be extremely offended. Maybe they will show up to your house, which is when you lock the door and say "no". Do this and you will feel an immense weight lifting off your shoulders.

[Anonymous]

the first chance

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I use to make a family favorite dish for Christmas which is complicated small and completely inappropriate for dogs (spinach pie). Two years ago, my dad
brought his dogs to our house and fed them leftover spinach pie. I was so mad and the next year when he came I told him the spinach pie was for the family and not for the dogs. Of course, he fed the dogs the pie anyway. This year I won't be making spinach pie due to his behavior and I am mad that I have to change my holidy tradition due to his immaturity. Obviously, we have more issues than that but to me the spinach pie represents his lack of consideration throughout my life. He was born very wealthy and has acted like a spoiled child his entire life. One time when I called over to their house his wife answered the phone and hung up on me when I asked her to speak with my dad saying they didn't want any. They thought it was a funny joke. Honestly, I feel like theygo out if there way to purposely hurt me. They've shown up to a birthday party for my DD without a present. They went to Disney World and brought a gift back for my 7 year old but not my 10 year old. Bringing a gift back for neither is fine but one is uncool. One year they proposed to bring balloons for my DD's birthday but called a few hours before saying they couldn't find any. My dad had a birthday 4 months later and they insisted that we come over and he had 5 Elmo balloons for himself. When my DD was a toddler, my stepmom bought toddler gifts for my dad to open in front of her. They were gifts for my dad.


I know I need to laugh at this but ir hurts. I'm sure I'm not the only one with parents like this. How do you handle this?

Own your feelings and your actions. Your father is blatantly disrespectful, and you are choosing to forgo things you value (i.e. traditions) in order to spend time with him. You are setting boundaries at your own expense.

[Anonymous]

They're rude to you. Why do you care about being rude back?

[Anonymous]

You care about being rude to them???? These people wouldn't know rude if rude stepped up and shook hands with them. OP, these people are primitives. They might as well be living in a cave. Forget any manners you might use with real people with real social identities and constructs. Don't invite them anywhere, ever. They are damaging your children! You need to protect your children from people who are hurtful, mean, and this primitive.

[Anonymous]

Thank you PPs. My sister and husband put up with this much more than I do. I am perceived as the difficult one as I won't go along with their alternative reality as much as everyone else. I won't cut him off completely but there is no use talking to him either. For whatever reason, he makes those decisions purposely. I've had more productive conversations with brick walls. For Christmas, I now buy cheap gifts too which I make a big deal about and it now irritates them immensely but I don't care. I know they complain to sister and they now give her 50 or 100 dollar gifts while I get the used shawl. It isn't about the gifts per se, it is about trying to find ways of hurting me. I have zero expectations about them

[Anonymous]

My kids are learning every year about grandad. I'm not sure it is a bad lesson. I'm a very attentive mom and they see the contrast. I was raised by him and it was very hard but I've made my own life choices. I tell them we all make choices about the person we wish to be and they are lucky they have parents who love them so much.

[Anonymous]

Stop answering the phone when they call. Things like feeding the dog, cheap gifts, not thanking you would be considered rude, but are normal rude actions. Things like opening toys in front of your toddler and then not letting him play with them and taking them home are just mean and makes me think mental problems. Stay away from them. Have other plans for the holidays. Don't call them anymore.

[Anonymous]

It is amazing what limiting my contact with my parents has done for my mental well-being. I used to put up with crap because I felt I needed to make sure my kids knew their grandparents. Took a while to realize they'll be just fine without them. Thank god for my inlaws.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is not exactly related to your question but I have to ask. Your spinach pie sounds really good! Any chance you'll share the recipe with us?

[Anonymous]

If your sister wants to spend time with this asshole then let her host her own Christmas. All you are showing your children is that it is ok to be repeatedly abused by a grand parent. Stand up for yourself and your children, it's time to set some boundaries and put some distance between you. You've yet to see them change because you haven't put your foot down and demanded it.

[Anonymous]

OP your stress and misery is something your kids sense. For them you need to cut this off. I cancelled going home this year for Christmas to see my family because they suck and it was hard but the alternative was being stressed w my family. Believe me your Kids notice.

[Anonymous]

OP, when they show up at your house, tell them you don't want any, and shut the front door in their faces.

[Anonymous]

I don't mean this in a snarky way - why do continue to want a relationship with them? Are there positives that you'd miss or is it the 'idea' of a father/grandparents that you'd miss? It certainly sounds like your dad and his wife are self-centered and unpleasant. What does your DH say about it?