Son wants to try out for cheerleading.

[Anonymous]

One of my (straight, male) friends got a scholarship to Standford based on his gymnastics. Are gymnastics also too 'girly'?

[Anonymous]

Male cheerleader spotters, gymnasts and ballet dancers are buff. Look at their arms and the legs on dancers. No sissies there for sure.

[Anonymous]

I was just having a conversation with my dh about male ballet dancers. In his words, they're the luckiest men around because "they get to hang out with beautiful girls and grab their crotches." All crudeness aside, I hope you are able to convince dh.

[Anonymous]

Male cheerleaders, dancers and the like are brilliant. It can get you into college (maybe even with scholarship money), surround you with a gaggle of girls, and make you incredibly physically fit.

Your DH is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male cheerleaders, dancers and the like are brilliant. It can get you into college (maybe even with scholarship money), surround you with a gaggle of girls, and make you incredibly physically fit.


Your DH is an idiot.

OP here, I agree! I'm so disappointed in how he's made my son feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Male cheerleaders, dancers and the like are brilliant. It can get you into college (maybe even with scholarship money), surround you with a gaggle of girls, and make you incredibly physically fit.


Your DH is an idiot.

OP here, I agree! I'm so disappointed in how he's made my son feel.

OP, if dad is like this about this one innocuous request, your son has years of dad's pressure and prejudice ahead of him if he dares do anything dad doesn't think is macho enough --and your son likely already has years of dad's pressure and prejudice already behind him. I'd consider whether dad does this kind of thing, pressuring and bullying son like this, as a pattern. If so, isn't it time to confront dad about who DAD is at his core, and why he's so insecure that he must force his son into his idea of what's manly?

If you feel you need to convince dad on this point, see if a sports coach at the school is cool with male cheerleaders and can attest to the fact they're athletes too. Sounds like your husband might not listen to you since you're, well, female, and might only listen to a macho guy. Sad for your son, really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see this as a big deal, but my husband has completely different attitude. He told my son that cheerleading is for girls and that he refuses to let him tryout as he doesn't want people thinking his son is gay and has now discouraged him from wanting to tryout. How can I talk my son into following his dream?

Would your husband like to say that to George W. Bush one-on-one?

Or, you trolling?

[Anonymous]

Only a doofus would think an opportunity to constantly look up a girl's skirt is gay.

[Anonymous]

Sorry but I think your DH is right. Guys at school will talk and they will say -- among other things -- that your DS is gay. Some of the guys may believe it, others are raised in homes like yours where that's what their dads believe so that is what they will say, and some will be jealous of your DS hanging with pretty girls and will just want to say something derogatory about him. There is no way that the guys in school are going to say "wow cheerleader guys are so buff, let me quit football to join cheerleading too."

Before people jump in and say "who cares" -- well for a pre-teen/teen, what your peers say/believe about you does matter a lot; it affects how you are treated at school. Middle/high school are just different than college when people are more "accepting" of those who like different activities.

Is your DS ready to handle all of that? If cheerleading is really his "dream" as you say, then fine -- pursue it, but be ready for the fact that it could suck socially. Frankly if he pursues it, he should make his life easier by acting like the alpha male and openly saying things like -- I just joined bc I like Kristin Smith and now I get to see her 20 hrs a week.

[Anonymous]

This is an attitude that I've only encountered in this area. I from the South, and in both high school and college, the male cheerleaders were considered to be very cool. Athletic and gorgeous. Particularly in high school, when they were selected by an election that was basically a popularity contest.

[Anonymous]

My brother did this. It built muscle like football never did, he did both, and got him cute dates too, girls of course!

[Anonymous]

So your husband would rather have him go in a locker room with a few dozen young boys, dripping wet from their showers, after practicing sweating and grappling for several hours beforehand?

[Anonymous]

Male cheerleaders get to place their hands on the female cheerleaders asses all the time. Gay what?

[Anonymous]

Everyone is thinking about this from the perspective of mature, enlightened adults. The perspective of your sons peers may not be quite the same. As one PP said, as long as your DS goes into it knowing he may have to deal with some guff from the other guys, then why not let him try it out. Your DH, on the other hand, is thinking like a teenage boy which may give you an idea of what issues your son may face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is thinking about this from the perspective of mature, enlightened adults. The perspective of your sons peers may not be quite the same. As one PP said, as long as your DS goes into it knowing he may have to deal with some guff from the other guys, then why not let him try it out. Your DH, on the other hand, is thinking like a teenage boy which may give you an idea of what issues your son may face.

I agree. Your husband knows what it is like to be a teenage boy. Have a realistic talk with your son about the shit he is going to catch at school (wrong thought it is) and will he want to deal with it.