I think I made a bad first impression

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old for you. You're in your prime and he's APA. Look for a younger, healthier specimen.

I agree. There is something too methodical about his methods and at 36, he's going to be really set in his ways. Personally, I would not agree to a video chat. Too bad that you live an hour away. Make him drive to see you, for a real first date.

What is APA?

[Anonymous]

Bump

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old for you. You're in your prime and he's APA. Look for a younger, healthier specimen.

I agree. There is something too methodical about his methods and at 36, he's going to be really set in his ways. Personally, I would not agree to a video chat. Too bad that you live an hour away. Make him drive to see you, for a real first date.

What is APA?

Advanced paternal age.

I hadn't thought about it like that, but I see your point. Op should probably date up to age 30 at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old for you. You're in your prime and he's APA. Look for a younger, healthier specimen.

I agree. There is something too methodical about his methods and at 36, he's going to be really set in his ways. Personally, I would not agree to a video chat. Too bad that you live an hour away. Make him drive to see you, for a real first date.

What is APA?

Advanced paternal age.

I hadn't thought about it like that, but I see your point. Op should probably date up to age 30 at this point.

OP here, why should I only date up to age 30? We have a ton of things in common.

[Anonymous]

Because you want to be able to have time to see where the relationship will go before thinking about having kids with a guy, that is if you want kids. APA increases the chance of having children with mental and physical issues. Plus, women generally live longer than men so you want someone who will be around for long term companionship.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore them. 36 is fine. I date up to a decade older. Sometimes you have to with guys in this area -- I've met 38 year olds with the emotional maturity of teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Wait, I'm still stuck at wondering why a young woman would come to a mom forum to ask for online dating advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, ignore them. 36 is fine. I date up to a decade older. Sometimes you have to with guys in this area -- I've met 38 year olds with the emotional maturity of teenagers.

How old are you? Do you have children? What do you do for a living?

[Anonymous]

She doesn't need to be worrying about advanced maternal age! Geez! He's only 36. I don't think 10 years is that big a deal. Though I might wonder why he hasn't settled down yet.
She's not marrying the guy, she's just meeting for a date, that's all. Just be yourself, OP. When you talk to him, instead of focusing on how you're coming across, if he likes you, etc...just be yourself and if it doesn't click, he's not a good match for you. What kind of an impression did he have on you? Focus on that, and stay centered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't need to be worrying about advanced maternal age! Geez! He's only 36. I don't think 10 years is that big a deal. Though I might wonder why he hasn't settled down yet.
She's not marrying the guy, she's just meeting for a date, that's all. Just be yourself, OP. When you talk to him, instead of focusing on how you're coming across, if he likes you, etc...just be yourself and if it doesn't click, he's not a good match for you. What kind of an impression did he have on you? Focus on that, and stay centered.

Advanced paternal age is 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:26 year old woman here, and I've been chatting with a guy (36) I met online recently. We had our first quick phone conversation last night and I was sooo nervous. I know that it showed and I'm pretty sure I made a bad first impression. What is the best way to move past this?

Tell him you were nervous.
If you can't be forthcoming even in the early stages you may as well call it quits - get 6 cats and a vibrator and start needlepoint classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, I'm still stuck at wondering why a young woman would come to a mom forum to ask for online dating advice.

Momma knows, that's why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too old for you. You're in your prime and he's APA. Look for a younger, healthier specimen.

I agree. There is something too methodical about his methods and at 36, he's going to be really set in his ways. Personally, I would not agree to a video chat. Too bad that you live an hour away. Make him drive to see you, for a real first date.

Too methodical? These are the normal ways of progressing from online dating to real life. The video chat is an extra step but it makes sense given the distance between them.

How else would you prefer he do it? One email and then drive an hour and potentially waste three or four hours plus some money on someone who misrepresented what they looked like? and that happens all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Video chat is smart on his end. Usually the people who avoid or delay meeting in person aren't physically what they portray themselves to be and are hoping that you fall for them first. He just wants to ensure he's not being "cat-fished" is all.

I think you don't understand what cat fishing means.

The whole idea seems like lazy dating.

Catfish means to use someone else's pictures as your own.

The poster you quoted her has it exactly right.

[Anonymous]

I've been wondering as well why there are so many single, never been married, 20-somethings on here lately. The forum has really expanded since I as a new mom less than 10 years ago. It's weird. I used to come her literally for parenting advice.

Anyway, I'd be annoyed by the video chat, but can see it b/c of the distance and time before you can go out. I don't think 36 is "too old" for you, or that he's going to rush you into motherhood. He could be wrong for you and vice versa for a million other reasons. It's dating. Meet him and see what happens.