My silent husband

[AroundTheBlock]

Being the sole financial provider for a family can be very stressful and tough on a person. While being a full time mother is very hard, so is trying to provide enough money for a family of four. If your husband hates his job it's not going to be easy and he's NOT going to be in a happy mood. That's just life.

How can you be happy doing something you hate 40 hours a week? It's not possible. I don't know your family situation but he may want to try moving into another field or looking for a new job. Things won't change until he is happy with his job. Often times when I've had a bad day at work I don't feel like speaking much when I get home.

Also, if you just had a kid make NO MISTAKE husbands get postpartum depression also. I have a 12 week old and let me tell you...my wife went through tough postpartum depression and it hit me VERY hard also. If it weren't for the fact that I've been through a lot of tough times in my life, I would have lost it. My advice, from what I can read here, is to try to get him to open up and talk. Try to work through the tough times as a team...because when you're a team it's easier.

[Anonymous]

Encourage him to go to your family doctor who will diagnose if he has depression.
Tell him he doesn't have to suffer like this if it is.
And you are suffering too.
Meds will fix him up in no time & will get him through.
Only 6 weeks post-partum? Definitely a bit early but if you're up to it you guys can do other stuff.
Some intimacy will definitely help. You are both probably strung out with work and new baby etc.
Have you guys been on a date recently?
Do it. Get a sitter and go. Even for 3 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do this when the wife doesn't put out. Are you having sex frequently enough?

You sound like a peach.

Yeah, that would make me totally want to sleep with you.

To the PPs- that's why its such a vicious cycle. OP's DH is a man of few words, always has been. It is very possible he's angry about the infrequency of sex and is expressing it this way. Obviously, its not a very productive way to do it. But that doesn't mean its not a possibility.

OP- surprise your hubby with impromptu oral tonight. See if it perks him up or at least helps him open up to talking about what's really bothering him.

[Anonymous]

"I am sort of at my wits end with my husband. He is a man of few words and always has been."

Why did you reproduce with guy? Think kids with a father of few words is okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I am sort of at my wits end with my husband. He is a man of few words and always has been."

Why did you reproduce with guy? Think kids with a father of few words is okay?

So you're saying introverts are incapable of being good fathers and husbands. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Just a though, but your questions aren't perhaps about stuff he doesn't care about? For example, DW will ask my opinoin or to pick which of two shirts DD should wear, and it's realy not something I care about (boht look fine to me)... him saying he's not an expert makes me think it could be discussions like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just a though, but your questions aren't perhaps about stuff he doesn't care about? For example, DW will ask my opinoin or to pick which of two shirts DD should wear, and it's realy not something I care about (boht look fine to me)... him saying he's not an expert makes me think it could be discussions like that.

Just curious- when you pick one does your wife often end up wearing the other one? My wife does this and it drives me nuts. If you ask for an opinion and regularly disregard it, my opinion is devalued, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I SAH when my first child was very young, my husband was very resentful. However he never told me that, his body language and temperament said it all. He paid me lip service blah blah blah, how it was all so great for everyone.

I was able to get a clue and ended up returning to the workforce. He was visibly relieved. Our relationship dramatically improved.

I do not think many non-working spouses truly understand the pressure the working spouse is under. Combine that with a miserable job and the pressure can be suffocating.

With the huge improvement in my relationship with my ex now, I sometimes wonder if I wasn't SAH when we were together, if we'd still be together. Working, getting out of the house, contributing to the income, having your own professional thing going on... it can really positively affect the dynamic in a marriage.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to change the conversation. "When you tell me you're not resentful that I'm staying home, but your body language makes you look resentful, it makes me feel confused. I need you to be honest with me, no matter what. How can I make it safe for you to be honest with me?"