Can we afford private?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am completely, 100% certain that your child would not be the only shy, sensitive, bright child in her public school kindergarten class.

Obviously true, but doesn't answer the question of whether it's the best choice.

My point, in case it was not clear the first time, is that public schools are familiar with the needs of children who are shy, sensitive, and bright, and are capable of meeting those needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am completely, 100% certain that your child would not be the only shy, sensitive, bright child in her public school kindergarten class.

Obviously true, but doesn't answer the question of whether it's the best choice.

My point, in case it was not clear the first time, is that public schools are familiar with the needs of children who are shy, sensitive, and bright, and are capable of meeting those needs.

It wasn't clear, but even your restatement seems overly broad. Are they all, really? That's not clear to me at all. You seem to think that all public schools (around here, anyway) are just as good at dealing with all shy, sensitive, bright kids as all private schools (around here). Seems like an overstatement. Now, is my particular school just as capable as many of the privates? Could be, but I don't know. Trust me, we're looking into it! I'm not excited to spend a-loads of money for something that doesn't add meaningful value.

[Anonymous]

It's doable, OP. We are sending one paying $30,000 a year on HHI of $160K. Low mortgage luckily ($1500), one car payment, no other debt. But lots of medical expenses, dental too, more than most families. Yes you can do it. You just figure that $5000 will come out of your account (savings or otherwise) every month for 10 months. Use the other 2 months without the payment for extras or to save to make the other 10 months doable. Use your FSA payout, your tax return to buy the things like plane tickets to visit family or take a one-week inexpensive vacation. Max out your TSP, put a little in 529s for each kid. Eat vegetables, buy used, create a budget.

It's also not a crime to send one to private and one to public-- each kid is different and lots of families do do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I honestly cannot figure this out. Our gross hh income is $245k. We have a $2000/month house payment (including property taxes). Car paid off (not fancy, getting old so might need to replace in the next year or two). Student loan payment of $700/month.
We don't take vacations except camping. I am the least fashionable person you'll ever meet, so not much in clothing expenses. We both WOH, so we have a cleaning person come a couple times per month ($250 monthly). Cable, phone, regular utilities. I do occasionally get classes or lessons for the kids as "extras", and piano lessons. So, we don't live extravagently, but we do live very comfortably. We sock away a moderate amount into our TSP, but we haven't started saving for college (though the grandparents have).
We have 2 kids, and live in a good MCPS district, so planned to send our older to public. But now DC seems to be both super bright and also quite shy and sensitive, so we think public might not be a good fit. If we send one to private, I think we will want to send the other as well.
Anyone in similar circumstances? I would hate to start at private and then have to pull DC for financial reasons. But I would hate to have her not like school because of a bad experience in public ES.

I'm at the other end of this, since my kids are 16 and 11. But I will tell you that things are tighter now with older kids than I imagined they would be.

Our HHI is $215k, so lower than yours. We have a similar monthly house payment, cars paid off, home-owner's loan about the same as your student loan (will be paid off in 2 years). No other debt. We too live modestly but very comfortably.

We struggled over a decade ago with whether we could afford private school for our eldest. We really thought certain private schools would be better for him, given his personality and learning style. What we decided at the time was that we could swing it for one, but not for two (I was pregnant with DC2 at the time). So we went with public. From a financial perspective, I am very, very glad we made that decision, for it was absolutely on target. Where we sit now, we could afford private school for one, and still save appropriately for college for one child and our future retirement on our current salary. We most definitely could not save enough for college for two and for retirement if we were paying private school tuition for two without a significant lifestyle change. We would certainly be "school-poor" in that circumstance.

For us, public school has worked out very, very well. That small child I worried so much about is 16 now and thriving. We have no regrets whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

OP -- We all want to find what is best for our kids but the simple fact is that private schools are an enormous financial commitment. I know if your child's health and happiness depended on it and you though private was the answer you would swing it, but nothing in your post remotely suggests that urgency. I have two in private -- figure about $35,000 each for high school average at most DC area independent schools (parochial are less) for upper school -- that alone is 280,000 per year for two kids in high school. In many privates, you also pay for books, some have computer fees, bus fees, graduation fees, etc. -- in reality two kids starting today at a private in 9th will cost over $300,000 in today's dollars. Now elementary costs less -- I don't know these days, maybe $20-25,000 - middle school maybe more? We're talking K-8 (9 years) x 2 kids = 18 years -- that's at least another $360-$450,000. So basically for k-12 private school for two kids is probably close to three quarters of a million dollars. None of that is tax deductible as if you bought another house and over 13 years for even one child that doesn't account for the lost value of not having invested the money, so now we're really talking about a commitment that will effectively cost you almost certainly over a million dollars -- maybe quite a bit more - for two kids starting out today. Start with public, and then see. Our oldest changed in 2d grade --it was fine. I personally think middle school may be the best time to go private -- better academics than at most publics, an emphasis on preparing kids for high school, and teachers who are really involved with the kids to try to help them through it in one piece. My kids are in private -- and we are very happy with the school -- but it is a huge commitment and our HHI is higher than yours. At your HHI, I wouldn't do it unless I was sure public wouldn't work out. If the kids have grandparents to save for college, that's great for them now. But will you be able to do that for their children -- your grandchildren -- if you pay for private now? I don't want to sound discouraging, but really anyone in your situation has to really, really think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- We all want to find what is best for our kids but the simple fact is that private schools are an enormous financial commitment. I know if your child's health and happiness depended on it and you though private was the answer you would swing it, but nothing in your post remotely suggests that urgency. I have two in private -- figure about $35,000 each for high school average at most DC area independent schools (parochial are less) for upper school -- that alone is 280,000 per year for two kids in high school. In many privates, you also pay for books, some have computer fees, bus fees, graduation fees, etc. -- in reality two kids starting today at a private in 9th will cost over $300,000 in today's dollars. Now elementary costs less -- I don't know these days, maybe $20-25,000 - middle school maybe more? We're talking K-8 (9 years) x 2 kids = 18 years -- that's at least another $360-$450,000. So basically for k-12 private school for two kids is probably close to three quarters of a million dollars. None of that is tax deductible as if you bought another house and over 13 years for even one child that doesn't account for the lost value of not having invested the money, so now we're really talking about a commitment that will effectively cost you almost certainly over a million dollars -- maybe quite a bit more - for two kids starting out today. Start with public, and then see. Our oldest changed in 2d grade --it was fine. I personally think middle school may be the best time to go private -- better academics than at most publics, an emphasis on preparing kids for high school, and teachers who are really involved with the kids to try to help them through it in one piece. My kids are in private -- and we are very happy with the school -- but it is a huge commitment and our HHI is higher than yours. At your HHI, I wouldn't do it unless I was sure public wouldn't work out. If the kids have grandparents to save for college, that's great for them now. But will you be able to do that for their children -- your
grandchildren -- if you pay for private now? I don't want to sound discouraging, but really anyone in your situation has to really, really think about it.

I am OP, and appreciate the response. I am aware of the math, but i take your point to be that if you werein my shoes, you would give public a good try first. I agree that makes sense. We will change by middle school for sure, because i am not hearing good things about our middle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am OP, and appreciate the response. I am aware of the math, but i take your point to be that if you werein my shoes, you would give public a good try first. I agree that makes sense. We will change by middle school for sure, because i am not hearing good things about our middle.

I don't think anybody ever hears anything good about their middle school. That's just the nature of middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I am OP, and appreciate the response. I am aware of the math, but i take your point to be that if you werein my shoes, you would give public a good try first. I agree that makes sense. We will change by middle school for sure, because i am not hearing good things about our middle.

I don't think anybody ever hears anything good about their middle school. That's just the nature of middle school.

I would except Alice deal middle school. Everyone seems to love it. We do and switched their from a parochial.

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me nervous. We are considering private for our first child, because our public is really not a good option. Our HHI is $150K for a family of 4, we pay about $2000/mo to mortgage, and about $800/mo to loans. We have no real equity in our house. We have another child who will begin preschool. We have been naively thinking we may qualify for FA; sounds like that might not be the case?

[Anonymous]

We have a similar HHI and dc, and chose private because of dc's personality. We are happy with our decision (in K) and plan to reassess in a couple of years. I'm hoping that in a few years, the "need" for a small private will be considerably less and we can go to public in 3rd or 4th grade. If not, we stay and keep playing it by ear.

[Anonymous]

OP, no. Once you are in private, your child will want to stay there. Also, you and your children will want to do the fun things that the other private school classmates are doing. Then you will be stretched. No, you are not in the income bracket to send 2 through the entire years of private + college + retirement. Try public first! Look under the financial threads "things I regret..." So many parents said they regretted private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, no. Once you are in private, your child will want to stay there. Also, you and your children will want to do the fun things that the other private school classmates are doing. Then you will be stretched. No, you are not in the income bracket to send 2 through the entire years of private + college + retirement. Try public first! Look under the financial threads "things I regret..." So many parents said they regretted private school.

Thanks, op here. I appreciate the warning. I think we will take a shot and see if we get miracle fnancial aid, otherwise stay public and try to save like crazy and switch later if needed. But we can afford parochial, which is sort of tempting, but not sure it's really worth it.

[Anonymous]

Remember - switching is not a guarantee. Also, the elementary years are so critical. If you want private for your child (whatever your reason(s)), do it now. OP, you can afford it; it is about whether you really want to afford it.

[Anonymous]

We are in very similar financial circumstances (almost could have written those numbers myself) and pay over $40K in college and parochial tuition now. One of our kids plays a travel sport, and that's probably another $6-7K a year, so let's call it about $47-48K total. We are careful with our money but manage to save 15% for retirement and put money away for college (admittedly, not much). Our vacations are on trips for tournaments and at a family-owned beach house, we have three paid-off cars that we hope won't need replacing soon, but we are comfortable (though definitely careful). I would say you could easily afford one tuition at a private, but two would be tough. Btw, don't assume that because one is in private, the other has to be. We know lots of families who do both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Remember - switching is not a guarantee. Also, the elementary years are so critical. If you want private for your child (whatever your reason(s)), do it now. OP, you can afford it; it is about whether you really want to afford it.

Ok, i know switching isn't a guarantee, but how hard is it? It sounds like schools have expansion years and it's no harder to get in then than at K. Yes, we can afford it, but there isn't much to cut. We can cut retirement savings, but no one seemsto think that's a good idea. Elementary is important, but the alternative here isn't a bad school. It's a well-liked mcps public.