How do I handle my boyfriend's terminal illness?

[Anonymous]

OP askes for advice on how to emotionally support her boyfriend and in usual DCUM fashion people suggest things completely unrelated: hospice an social security.

[Anonymous]

Hospice is still a great resource. They have support groups for caregivers, others for children and others for those living with terminal illnesses. They know how hard this is and are a great resource even if you aren't at the point of having them come in.

[Anonymous]

OP, there must be a support group that would be of benefit to you. Is there an organization for his disease? If so, I would think that they might have some resources for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP askes for advice on how to emotionally support her boyfriend and in usual DCUM fashion people suggest things completely unrelated: hospice an social security.

I'm the poster up thread who talked about hospice. One of the things I observed/experienced about hospice for the spouse of the patient was that it made it much easier to BE emotionally supportive if you did not have to worry about certain things. Fine, OP's boyfriend is not quite terminal enough to qualify for hospice, but to suggest that it's not related demonstrates a pretty big misunderstanding. Therapy is great. Support groups are great. But if you are overwhelmed with aspects of physical care, it's hard to be supportive emotionally.

[Anonymous]

OP - HOSPICE. They will come to you AND they provide all kinds of emotional support for YOU as the caregiver and family of the patient. Our hospice nurses were uterrly amazing. They even came to my mom's funeral. I cannot say enough good things about hospice care. Please, please, please look into this immediately.

[Anonymous]

He is not in need of hospice at this time.

[Anonymous]

How long does he have, OP?

(I lost my bf to a terminal illness at 27, you're not alone.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is not in need of hospice at this time.

Hospice provides more services then hospice care. They provide support even when hospice services aren't needed. My Mom is a hospice support leader for a group who meets weekly. The group is for caregivers of terminally ill loved ones. My father has been terminally for almost a decade. He isn't in hospice care and at the rate he is going may outlive her! But she gets/gives support through hospice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not in need of hospice at this time.

Hospice provides more services then hospice care. They provide support even when hospice services aren't needed. My Mom is a hospice support leader for a group who meets weekly. The group is for caregivers of terminally ill loved ones. My father has been terminally for almost a decade. He isn't in hospice care and at the rate he is going may outlive her! But she gets/gives support through hospice.

Jesus, just drop the hospice thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not in need of hospice at this time.

Hospice provides more services then hospice care. They provide support even when hospice services aren't needed. My Mom is a hospice support leader for a group who meets weekly. The group is for caregivers of terminally ill loved ones. My father has been terminally for almost a decade. He isn't in hospice care and at the rate he is going may outlive her! But she gets/gives support through hospice.

Jesus, just drop the hospice thing.

I'm the first poster who mentioned hospice. I think that the PP's point was that hospice care also has resources for caregivers of terminally ill people. There are a lot of misconceptions about it. The OP would probably find a support group like the one described in the post you're dismissing pretty helpful as I'd imagine they spend a lot of time talking about how to be emotionally supportive of a terminally ill loved one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you seeing a therapist? If not, you should do so immediately.

This is a good idea- take care of yourself. I'm in a similar situation. There is nothing you can do to change his situation. Be there for him and help him be as comfortable as possible. Eat well, exercise, sleep-

[Anonymous]

OP, please listen ... you don't seem to understand what hospice is about or when your BF may qualify... if he has a diagnosis or prognosis of less than 6 months to live then he probably qualifies.

And as others wrote, it's not a place, it's a way of caring and it is so far better than anything else I've seen that I'd hate to see you and him deprived of what it can offer both of you, both now and after he is gone.

If you are in the DC area I suggest checking out Capital Caring and their web site (formerly Capital Hospice)... a very worthwhile and valuable resource and group of people IMO/ IME.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not in need of hospice at this time.

Hospice provides more services then hospice care. They provide support even when hospice services aren't needed. My Mom is a hospice support leader for a group who meets weekly. The group is for caregivers of terminally ill loved ones. My father has been terminally for almost a decade. He isn't in hospice care and at the rate he is going may outlive her! But she gets/gives support through hospice.

Jesus, just drop the hospice thing.

You sound pretty ignorant given the description of the OP and her circumstances and her BFs. This is exactly what hospice is designed/ set up to help. You, OTOH, sound like just an ignorant shrew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is not in need of hospice at this time.

Hospice provides more services then hospice care. They provide support even when hospice services aren't needed. My Mom is a hospice support leader for a group who meets weekly. The group is for caregivers of terminally ill loved ones. My father has been terminally for almost a decade. He isn't in hospice care and at the rate he is going may outlive her! But she gets/gives support through hospice.

Jesus, just drop the hospice thing.

You sound pretty ignorant given the description of the OP and her circumstances and her BFs. This is exactly what hospice is designed/ set up to help. You, OTOH, sound like just an ignorant shrew.

Okay, hospice pusher!

[Anonymous]

OP here. He is not in need of hospice at this point in time. When he is, I'll revisit the idea. I understand that it offers a wonderful support network but his insurance won't cover it and we're not about to shell out $ for something he doesn't need.