its over and I am so sad

[Anonymous]

Wait a minute. I have been married more than 20 years - and in this period I have fallen out of love with DH several times. There has been many bad years in my marriage and many good years as well. I feel once you complete this iteration of good-bad-good-bad a few times, your marriage actually becomes more resilient.

Get whatever help you can to save the marriage. Do what ever you can to rekindle the romance or friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. I have been married more than 20 years - and in this period I have fallen out of love with DH several times. There has been many bad years in my marriage and many good years as well. I feel once you complete this iteration of good-bad-good-bad a few times, your marriage actually becomes more resilient.

Get whatever help you can to save the marriage. Do what ever you can to rekindle the romance or friendship.

Did you go five months w/o sex, even sex of the "gee I may as well" variety, though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wait a minute. I have been married more than 20 years - and in this period I have fallen out of love with DH several times. There has been many bad years in my marriage and many good years as well. I feel once you complete this iteration of good-bad-good-bad a few times, your marriage actually becomes more resilient.

Get whatever help you can to save the marriage. Do what ever you can to rekindle the romance or friendship.

Did you go five months w/o sex, even sex of the "gee I may as well" variety, though?

Umm...actually more than a couple of years without SEX. No sex during pregnancy and a year after that - with both pregnancies. Then very infrequent sex ( once every couple of months - and really BAD SEX)...work, school, college, small kids, years of breastfeeding, ...everything added up. I think we were too tired to even fight. Plus for me - it was not only no sex drive but also I had lost all sensation in my breasts and down below. I could not come or feel any pleasure even with a vibrator, so there was nothing in it for me sexual fulfillment wise. The only thing two things that was good in this whole period was that I quit taking BC pills and also I never denied sex to my DH- ever.

Then, as I stopped breastfeeding, life became less hectic for both of us, kids needed us less - we connected again sexually. Except this time we realized how very lucky we were to have our family and each other. And sex has become phenomenal. DH is patient, loving, innovative - and we are having crazy, no-holds barred sex. Super, fantastic, off-the-charts sex. Anything and everything goes kind of sex. And all that loving has spilled out of bedroom as well...we are loving and kind towards each other. It takes a certain kind of effort, but we know now what needs to be done and we do it.