School Switching Options

[Anonymous]

Yikes. This school doesn't sound right for so many reasons. Why don't you think you can switch schools? You can't get into a charter, likely, at this point, since you are past count day, but there are plenty of wonderful DCPS programs that may have spots.

Which neighborhood are you in? Is there another PS3 program around you? You can call the main offices of each school now and see if there are open spots. A transfer might be a challenge in the short-term, but preschool shouldn't be a miserable experience.

And just because a school is "highly-ranked" doesn't mean squat. It has to be the right fit and this clearly isn't for your son.

[Anonymous]

My advice...move your son (and please note, I am not a helicopter/hysterical mom). I have 3 kids who are in upper elementary now, but I can tell you from experience that children at this age do not have the vocabulary to tell you what really is going on. The only thing they can tell you is that they don't want to be there. It could be that they don't like the teacher or there is a kid who is bullying them or the atmosphere isn't right for their spirit. Whatever, the case, when they drag their feet and tell you they do not want to go to school for an extended period of time...change the school.

[Anonymous]

I'm actually in tears reading your responses. This has been an unbelievably rough time--we're involved parents but we don't helicopter, and I kept thinking that he just needed more time. Your responses are verifying my gut reaction that this might not be just a bad fit--that it might actually be damaging for him.

The hard part is that I did EVERYTHING I could to make sure we found the right fit--visited every program, went again when we got on a list or a close waitlist number, talked to other parents, etc. We worked and talked and prepped our son extensively at home for the transition, and I was hoping that it would be easy, precisely because he was coming from a montessori-method environment already. I was thrilled when we got in here. But this is a different classroom than I observed, with a new teacher, and nothing is clicking.

We live in Brookland, but I'll travel happily to find the place we belong. If you guys have suggestions, I am ALL EARS.

[Anonymous]

Call Bridges in Petworth and AppleTree (various locations...i seem to recall that Columbia Heights moved the fasted this year). Come up with a concise explanation (and I'm not suggesting you lie) of why you are looking to move that does not make you sound like a helicopter mom who will "be a problem" for them. Just don't go knee deep into the drama.

My son is at Barnard Elementary in Petworth for PS3 and we LOVE it. He loves going to school. Their "count day" was just yesterday, so they may not be interested in adding more kids even if they do have a spot, but it might be worth a shot. You should call them TODAY. I'll admit it may not be your longterm solution (most middle class kids leave after the early grades) but for PS3-K it's amazing. And maybe after too! We'll see...

[Anonymous]

Trust your gut, mom. You're smart, you love your child and you know him better than anyone. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Don't forget that proximity, in and of itself, is valuable at that age. It may contribute greatly to nurture, which is what seems to be in short supply where you currently are. And knocking on your in-boundary school at this time may also give you a leg up because they know you may be headed their way at some point anyway. Then you don't need to "knee-deep" explain what the problem is. You can simply state that you've had second thoughts about trekking across town and would prefer to enroll at your in-boundary school and that, besides, the school you're trekking around seems to be a poor fit. That will be a very valid explanation. Also, your son may then have the opportunity to connect outside the classroom here and there (as well as you) to catch up some and make it work this late in the game.

What you should avoid at all costs is settling on something else that's going to put a dent into your life in any way, just out of sheer panic.

[Anonymous]

12:16 here and fellow Brookland parent.

I'm not sure which school you are currenlty in, or what your zoned in-boundary school in Brookland is, but you might want to walk on over to Burroughs. They have a dynamic new principal, a great playground, and a great early childhood team through K and 1. Try to tour this week and you could switch.

A DC public's count day is very different than a public charter's count day. A charter has no incentive to let you in past count day (since funding is tied to #s) but a traditional public cannot turn you down if there is open space.

[Anonymous]

If you are in Brookland, I have heard very nice things about the Scrilli School Day Care Center.

[Anonymous]

I could have written your post. My heart is breaking for your son and mine. Something that was helpful for me was to spend time in the classroom so I could see for myself what might not be working. In our case, it was obvious by just 30 mins in the classroom. We are working with the principal and while we do not have the resolution we want yet, I'm pretty confident we are going to get there. If you think this school is a good fit for the long term, it is just a crummy situation you are finding yourself in this year, I would encourage you to talk to the administration. If they agree there is a problem and can help come up with a creative solution, I think that's a great sign and a great step. If they disagree there is a problem, then definitely move, but I agree, it is hard to know where (although many daycares will have spaces for kids these age-- you will be missing out on the academic prep of public school, but that is probably better than your kid developing a bad attitude toward school at such a young age).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are in Brookland, I have heard very nice things about the Scrilli School Day Care Center.

I am the poster whose child is at Barnard and we love it. I wanted to say that a dear friend sent her daughter to Scrilli for two years and couldn't say enough great things about it.

[Anonymous]

Agree about sitting in on class! You may observe a teacher who uses sarcasm or adult humor (above kids' heads), a rough kid or two, a chaotic classroom, too many academic demands, or any number of issues which could tip you off. It's a LOT for little ones when they start to go all day in a big kid environment. They'll encounter adults in the cafeteria, playground, halls, etc who do not have a 3-yr-old-friendly manner and may expect more of them behaviorally than they are capable of. Give him lots of extra rest and snacks. He won't be permanently damaged by an imperfect situation (assuming nothing abusive is going on), but do try to get to the bottom of it. also agree that proximity to home is very important if feasible. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Are there more then one class per grade? Can you move?

[Anonymous]

I've posted already but have been thinking of your kid all night.

It's this part that kills me:
"He also got sent home for a tantrum yesterday--he's 3. Before they called me to send him home, his 'punishment' was being left all alone in the cafeteria without his class or his teacher--yes, all by himself. "

This doesn't seem like a developmentally appropriate reaction to your child - not in sending him home, for sure, and certainly not in leaving him alone in a giant room with no supervision (as though that will change behavior???).

It doesn't sound like a happy environment nor does it sound like a safe environment. I'd get out of there, fast. Your kid can't articulate that he's feeling unhappy and unsafe, but he's definitely showing it.

You may consider posting on BrooklandKids to see if anyone else in the neighborhood knows of open spots in a better place.

[Anonymous]

I've been thinking about you a bunch too, OP, hoping you find an alternative quickly. My heart hurt rereading the quote from your original post that PP pasted above (about the punishments). Please keep us posted and let us know how things go. Wishing you the very best.

[Anonymous]

Did you know that DCPS has a Critical Response Team to assist with situations like this? I don't know the number off of my head but you can google it. I'd try that angle too. None of what you describe is ok. 3-year-olds should NEVER be left unsupervised. I think Critical Response should be able to help, and should be motivated to do so for no other reason than the legal risk DCPS could face if something happens to a child in a situation like this! I hate to think this is going on anywhere.