Kicked out of preschool for behavior issues

[Anonymous]

We did the Therapeutic nursery program at Lourie and an au pair for the afternoons. It was a great solution for us- not cheap for sure, but together the same price as Maddux and the school is fabulous. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel for you 100%. I was in the exact same boat, exactly in October of last year. We pulled DS who was a pusher and kicker from his private preschool and went through Child Find. He's been attending FCPS preschool since December 2013 and no one recognizes this kid anymore. He's so poised, so "together". We ran into one of his old preschool teachers this summer and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She almost asked us to come back

I saw that you are in MD. See if you can get an MCPS evaluation now. Also, try to get a private OT evaluation. Our DS pushing and kicking turned out to be sensory needs and we are now doing both private and school OT several times a week. He hasn't pushed anyone in 6 months and trust me when I tell you - he was a real terror exactly one year ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may want to contact Childfind and look into what public options maybe available where you live. Maddux is selective and usually does not take kids with behavior issues like aggression.

Definitely contact Maddux and do not get scared away by this poster and how exclusive she reports Maddux is. At Maddux they are highly trained to support a child with delays and it could very well be that in the right environment with the right support your child won't be biting and hitting. The training of preschool teachers varies widely and I have met quite a few parents with NT boys who were kicked out of preschool. Let the people at Maddux, you and your child decide if it's a fit and don't get discouraged by a random poster telling you they don't accept any children with behavior issues. My own nephew went there and he had plenty of behavior issues in preschool prior to Maddux. Maddux was a great match and they really helped him, Before he was just in the wrong environment. They really are pros at Maddux.

Maddux is a very small school and difficult to get in. It makes sense to explore other options in case they don't get in especially since they are looking for other placements now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may want to contact Childfind and look into what public options maybe available where you live. Maddux is selective and usually does not take kids with behavior issues like aggression.

Definitely contact Maddux and do not get scared away by this poster and how exclusive she reports Maddux is. At Maddux they are highly trained to support a child with delays and it could very well be that in the right environment with the right support your child won't be biting and hitting. The training of preschool teachers varies widely and I have met quite a few parents with NT boys who were kicked out of preschool. Let the people at Maddux, you and your child decide if it's a fit and don't get discouraged by a random poster telling you they don't accept any children with behavior issues. My own nephew went there and he had plenty of behavior issues in preschool prior to Maddux. Maddux was a great match and they really helped him, Before he was just in the wrong environment. They really are pros at Maddux.

Maddux is a very small school and difficult to get in. It makes sense to explore other options in case they don't get in especially since they are looking for other placements now.

+1. I would try to do a mix of special ed preschool + regular preschool. That arrangement worked for my DD. She went to her FCPS preschool in the morning and then the bus brought her to her regular preschool in the afternoon. This way she was receiving extra support and mainstreamed at the same time. This really helped her prepare for K.

[Anonymous]

Contact Child Find. If your child qualifies as disabled, you will get into a free program and they are awesome and designed for kids with the full spectrum of SN.

Forget the private preschools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP are you sure that you'll be kicked out? My ds was hitting and biting last year. Sure school wasn't pleased and it was a rough time all around but we were never kicked out. Has school said something?

They are trying to work with him. But I feel at this point he is a targeted kid. Last year he had emotional regulation issues and had many tantrums. This year it's hitting and biting. It just seems that once we get past one issue, another one surfaces. Sorry, I tangents, no I'm not sure he'll be kicked out, but I would like to have a back up plan in place in case it does happen.

How did your school handle the hitting and the bitting. Did your child eventually learn that this behavior is not okay?

The school talked to me. We worked together and yes ds learned that this behavior isn't acceptable. I'm in Rockville. What school are you at?

[Anonymous]

If he struggles with regulation and is acting out, it could be that a full time of being in programs is really just too much for him. Too much stimulation, too much time in groups of children, too many expectations of transitions between activities, scheduled etc... He may be acting out because he is very stressed out by his environment and by his day. Some kids just need low stress, lower stimulation environments to function well until they build the behavioral skills they need.

You might find he does better with a half day program and then a nanny/au pair/babysitter for the rest of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are good suggestions here--childfind and other preschools. My best friend went through this (in another state)--moved from typical preschool to an inclusion, small preschool and the difference was enormous.

When we were told that our son was not a 'good fit' for our daycare, we ended up having a nanny for a year and it definitely helped. Group care was too much for our son, who couldn't handle both the stimulation and didn't know how to get his needs met except through hitting, screaming and biting. I'd say a 60 percent improvement once removed from group care, and then another 20 percent through behavioral modification (ours really), working with a dev. ped. and a nanny willing to work hard with us. Plus maturity. almost 2 years later and he's doing great in school--for the first couple weeks I kept waiting for "the call." it hasn't happened. No biting, no hitting, no aggression. He loves schoo, has friends and charms the teachers. He still has meltdowns and difficulty staying on the rug, etc, but teachers have been helping him with those.

Good luck to you. It is so disheartening, scary, exhausting when you feel like you don't know how to address your child's needs, when this behavior seems to have no cause, and when you feel like others (preschool) have given up on your kid. But plenty of kids get kicked out of preschool or daycare--often times it ends up being for the best, once you can find the right situation. Until then, try not to despair. I think our son picked up so much on our anxiety and on the teachers' reaction to him.....

Thank you for your nice comments. It makes me feel like someone else understands how I feel. I'm so happy to hear that he's doing great in school. It's always nice to hear the success stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I feel for you 100%. I was in the exact same boat, exactly in October of last year. We pulled DS who was a pusher and kicker from his private preschool and went through Child Find. He's been attending FCPS preschool since December 2013 and no one recognizes this kid anymore. He's so poised, so "together". We ran into one of his old preschool teachers this summer and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She almost asked us to come back

I saw that you are in MD. See if you can get an MCPS evaluation now. Also, try to get a private OT evaluation. Our DS pushing and kicking turned out to be sensory needs and we are now doing both private and school OT several times a week. He hasn't pushed anyone in 6 months and trust me when I tell you - he was a real terror exactly one year ago.

The paperwork is sitting on my desk. We were transitioned out of Infants and Toddlers. The idea of starting the evaluations all over is just so daunting.

What does an Occupational Therapist do? I see many parents of SN use them but I can't figure out what they do. I always view OT as therapists that help adults perform their jobs better--usually motor skills. How do they assist with behavior issues?

So happy to hear of your success with your son. It's wonderful to hear that things can be turned around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may want to contact Childfind and look into what public options maybe available where you live. Maddux is selective and usually does not take kids with behavior issues like aggression.

Definitely contact Maddux and do not get scared away by this poster and how exclusive she reports Maddux is. At Maddux they are highly trained to support a child with delays and it could very well be that in the right environment with the right support your child won't be biting and hitting. The training of preschool teachers varies widely and I have met quite a few parents with NT boys who were kicked out of preschool. Let the people at Maddux, you and your child decide if it's a fit and don't get discouraged by a random poster telling you they don't accept any children with behavior issues. My own nephew went there and he had plenty of behavior issues in preschool prior to Maddux. Maddux was a great match and they really helped him, Before he was just in the wrong environment. They really are pros at Maddux.

+1 My son also had behavior issues and could sometimes get aggressive. He was accepted at Maddux and stayed 2 years (aged out) They are truly experts and have seen everything. They truly consider each individual child and what they present when applying to the school as well as how the child will fit within the group of kids they consider for admission.

[Anonymous]

See if you can hire a shadow for your DC to use during school hours. Perhaps they could help educate the school a bit and help your child learn some coping strategies.

[Anonymous]

NP here -- I am in the same boat with you, PP! DS is about to get kicked out of his school if we don't find him a shadow. I just don't know if it's worth getting a shadow though because the teachers are just overwhelmed by him and not really working with me (he did pretty well last year with very nurturing and patient teachers). We have just started working with child find and I am definitely not opposed to public sn pre-k since he gets really overstimulated with lots of kids around and also has feeding issues that are usually the root cause of his aggression (low blood sugar).
Anyhow, sorry to barge into your post, but if anyone has any suggestions for a SN - friendly private pre-k in NOVA, I'm all ears. And good luck, OP -- this is hard and I really sympathize with you!

[Anonymous]

Why do you think a nanny would want this job, if teachers don't?? Expect to pay a premium for your bad parenting if you go the nanny route.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think a nanny would want this job, if teachers don't?? Expect to pay a premium for your bad parenting if you go the nanny route.

Troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think a nanny would want this job, if teachers don't?? Expect to pay a premium for your bad parenting if you go the nanny route.

Not OP, but if you are a nanny, please post your contact information so I can hire you RIGHT AWAY! Yes, my SN child's behavior is due entirely to my own bad parenting! I can see it all so clearly now because your 8th grade educated brain has enlightened me...I can't WAIT to hear about your effective strategies that will straighten my child out. Sure, I will pay you a premium...name your price. Do you do laundry too?